How to continue

[Grissum69]

Maybe I'm over thinking, or not thinking correctly like I should be.   

I have pretty good knowledge now of this mental illness, have a good kb at home of books that I have read.  Always willing and wanting to know more...    

The success of having a relationship with someone with BPD is what ?  Slim to none, good, or just no not all ?

Everywhere I have read is that it isn't possible, or that one gives there own life up in order to take of the other knowingly leaving there wants and needs behind but in the end it just doesn't work out.  So I'd like to know from those who are in a relationship with a diagnosed BPD.     

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tryingsome]

Let's make a different assumption, what does 'work out' mean to you?
Most relationships don't work out, even between two 'nons'

The point is to make the best of the relationship you have if that is the one you want.
Learn the different ways to fight for it, but don't look to the future as the destination.
Cherish the present; relish the past in good faith.
Don't lose yourself! That can be hard to do in these dynamics.
The relationship will endure just as any other relationship was meant to last.

[Mutt]

Hi Grissum69,

Relationships have good stretches and bad stretches, sometimes the bad stretches last longer than the good ones, my exuBPDw is emotionally immature and has an incredibly difficult time with stepping back and looking at the whole picture. It's not always going to be highs and it's not always going to be lows in a r/s. Everyone's pwBPD is different so results may vary.

That being said is there something specific right now that's going on that's making you think about "if it's worth it or not?" I'm sorry I don't know your backstory.

[Pedro]

The point is to make the best of the relationship you have if that is the one you want.
Learn the different ways to fight for it, but don't look to the future as the destination.
Cherish the present; relish the past in good faith.
Don't lose yourself! That can be hard to do in these dynamics.
The relationship will endure just as any other relationship was meant to last.

I would agree whole heartedly with tryingsome here.