Had to Put my Buddy Down on Sat.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Sorry gang, I'm going to need a little bit to recoup after putting my incredible 12-year-old black English Lab "Lucky" down on Sat.

I am utterly heartbroken.

Thanks for your understanding and support.

J

[Jeffree]

Sorry gang, I'm going to need a little bit to recoup after putting my incredible 12-year-old black English Lab "Lucky" down on Sat.

I am utterly heartbroken.

Thanks for your understanding and support.

J

[Skip]

I'm so sorry, Jeff. It's really hard to lose a beloved retriever. They are so loving and patient. I lost a 11 year old golden a few years back. Broke my heart, too.

Skip

[Jeffree]

Believe it or not this is him on his last day.

Mid back forward he was fine.

J

[Radcliff]

Hi Jeffree,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  We lost a beloved dog 2 years ago, having to put her down as she lost a battle with an illness, and it is heartbreaking.

WW

[Tattered Heart]

I'm so sorry Jeffree. It's so hard to lose our furbabies. I had to put down one of my dogs last March.

Can you share a really fun memory about him?

[Mutt]

I’m sorry for your loss.

[heartandwhole]

He’s beautiful Jeffree. 

 I’m so sorry for your loss. 

heart

[Skip]

Believe it or not this is him on his last day.

And he was happy! He had a good life right to the end!

I'm really sorry. I know this is hard.

[JNChell]

So sorry, Jeffree. They truly are part of the family. My condolences.

[once removed]

do take it easy, Jeffree. its so hard to lose a pet, a friend, a member of the family. i lost my eighteen year old cat a little over a year ago, and didnt really come out of my room for a good few days. take care of yourself. we are here for you.

[Harley Quinn]

Jeffree, I'm so sorry to hear your tragic news.  My heart goes out to you.     Our animals are so precious, aren't they?  He looks like a lovely lad.  I can imagine you two had a really special bond and I know what it's like to lose that.  Spend time with your wonderful memories and treasure them.  Take your time.

Love and light x   

[hope2727]

My deepest sympathies. When we choose to love an animal we choose to die a second death.

[Speck]

So sorry to hear about your precious buddy having to be put down. I had to do the same thing for two of my cats as they aged and had organ failure. During and afterwards, I cried like a baby. It is a deeply compassionate and humane thing to do for our pets as warranted so as to end their suffering... .so remember that.


-Speck

[Gemsforeyes]

I'm very sorry you had to let go of your beloved Lucky.  He'll be waiting for you at The Rainbow Bridge.  Oh, for the love of Dog... .so many of us have been through this and know your pain and sadness.

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[Jeffree]

Thanks, everyone. The end was very hard, but he still had one last gasp of pride when he went pee in the yard with the aid of a sling I held his midsection with. His legs were working hard to support him. It was as though he just wanted more time with us, but unfortunately we had to do it humanely before he suffered any.

Funny story? He was more Jerry Seinfeld than Jim Carey, but I have a really fun video I'd like to share if someone can show me how.

The thing about a pet is that they are pretty much totally reliant on us for their every need and they give so much love back for our efforts. A person only needs true rearing for about the first what... .five years of their life? Nothing against people, but usually toward the end they have lived their own separate life from us, made their own choices, and loved their own other/additional people.

A pet always needs to be a much more intimate extension of ourselves, and I think that's the void that I feel so crushingly now... .not having that 95-lb monstrosity right in the way of my feet as I am cleaning the kitchen, or painting a wall, or indicating with his face that a treat needs to be given from that cabinet right there ("yeah, that one.", or barking to have his ball thrown, or diving his face into a cold bowl of water on a hot summer's day.

Maybe that's why we are so torn up so long after the pwBPD is out of our lives... .they seemed so much more reliant on us for life's basic needs, that when they turn on us it feels like the ultimate betrayal.

Oh, I do have a kind of funny story. So, he was a large breed and would pretty much destroy any toy or ball to get to the squeaker and stop it from making that noise for some reason. I learned pretty quickly that the one toy that had any durability were these thick rubber balls from JM (?) that had little stubby ears and rubber legs. It also had a squeaker. He quickly learned himself that if he dismantled the legs and basically turned it into a round ball, he prevented me from being able to tug it out of his mouth easily by just grabbing the legs and pulling. We used to have these great tugs of war with those balls until he figured this out.

I thought it was hilarious that once he figured this out, it was the first thing he'd do once I got him one of these toys. Watching him cup it with his paws and yank on the legs with this teeth and watch his head snap up when a piece of rubber was torn off was a riot. In an hour or two his whole bed would be filled with all these little rubber chunks and we'd go and play fetch. Of course I'd grab the toy by the legs a few times and make him chase the ball while I had the leverage to do so. It was one of our things.

The house seems so quiet without him in it.

J 

[heartandwhole]

I thought it was hilarious that once he figured this out, it was the first thing he'd do once I got him one of these toys. Watching him cup it with his paws and yank on the legs with this teeth and watch his head snap up when a piece of rubber was torn off was a riot. In an hour or two his whole bed would be filled with all these little rubber chunks and we'd go and play fetch. Of course I'd grab the toy by the legs a few times and make him chase the ball while I had the leverage to do so. It was one of our things.

Jeffree, I can picture this so clearly in my mind. It made me smile. Thank you for writing so eloquently about your buddy. He sounds like a very smart and playful companion.

The house seems so quiet without him in it.

Absolutely.    

I'd like to hear more about him, if you are moved to share. Did he have dog friends in the neighborhood?

heartandwhole

[In a bad way]

Jeffree
This really has brought tears to my eyes, I too had a very large black lab, yours sounds a lot like mine. He could destroy any toy in minutes, even the one's the pet shop said were indestructable.
I know all about the tug of wars, I rarely won those. Mine died ten years ago in my arms after an operation the day before, there are no words to describe that sorrow and I real do understand how you feel.
They have a human quality about them, just the way they look at you if they want something, they seem to know every word you say and know what you are about to do. Mine would jump around if I picked my keys up or checked the money in my wallet because he knew we could be going out.
He would have a sad look if I wasn't feeling well.
The list goes on.
A funny story for you about mine, some local kids kept kicking their football against the house every night and I kept asking them not to but they ignored me, I got fed up with it and  fed up with them knocking on the door asking for it back out of the garden.
Well I knew he could destroy a full size leather football in five minutes so I let him in the garden to get it, when they asked for it back all they got was a ripped up piece of leather, the look on their faces was priceless and they asked me what I had done to it. I just told them the dog found it.
Loosing your dog is one of the worst things ever, they are so loyal. I really do understand your hurt my friend.

[Jeffree]

H&H,

He didn't really have other dog friends other than the ones who would be at the home of our pet sitter. He was very good friends with their dog Zoey. He was pretty nonchalant about most other dogs. Our neighbor next door had two on an electric collar, but Lucky rarely went over to them to play. He was definitely like me in that way and also more of a people person. He was far from unfriendly to other dogs, but he was more like, "Eh, whatever." One thing he didn't seem to like too much was when we'd go to the dog park and one of these little yippy, jumpy types would be running circles around him and jumping all over him. He'd just keep walking away hoping the dog would tire himself out or go find another dog to pester.

He also loved to eat. He could have just eaten dinner, gotten a treat, been given a crust or two of pizza, and he'd look at me as if he was starving and needed more pizza crusts. His last day, he got so many treats, and just kept on looking for more.

My nickname for him was Fatty because when I came into his life via my STBx, he was 105 lbs., which was just too heavy for him. Sometimes I'd call him Lucky Puppiano for Lucky Luciano the mobster, other times he was Fatsy Tatsy. STBx was always telling me to stop calling him those things... .as if they were hurting his feelings. I never stopped. It was my thing with him.

In a bad way,

That's a great story about the football. I don't recall a story where I had Lucky mete out justice. But I swear I couldn't believe how many toys I went through before settling on the one I did. There were these rubber balls from NERF, which were pretty sturdy, that he made short work of. Anything made out of cloth was destroyed quickly.

It used to crush me every time I'd head to work in the morning after letting him out into the yard and running him a few laps. He'd retreat to his kennel, which was his safe place, and give me the sad face treatment.

J

[Duped 1]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I really struggle with this as well. When I got married in 2001 I told my then wife that I would never have another pet as it is too hard on me when they go. Within a year we had 2 wiener dogs and I fell in love with them. Here we are 15 years later and we still share "placement" with them. We have nearly lost one of them several times and I know we don't have a lot of time left with him and I'm already worried how his sister will be without him. They are family. So incredibly sweet and loyal. I am so sorry.

[tiki]

Oh man I’m so sorry. Thanks for being encouraging around here. Your dog does look so amazing. What a loss.

[bus boy]

Hey jeffree, you have my deepest sympathies. I had to put my old pal down a few years ago, had her for 14 years. I was heart broken for weeks. I can really feel for your pain.

[Gemsforeyes]

Oh Man... .I have a great and true story about my late great dog soul mate Bekkah.  I had to help her leave at the age of 16.  She just would NOT leave me.  So we used to go on very long walks/hikes near our home in Northern CA.  One day she apparently thought I was working too late and got tired of waiting for me.  She somehow pushed open the huge wooden door on the side of our property and "took herself" for a walk.  I discovered she was missing and panicked.

My husband at the time was out of town.  I called a few friends and we split up and began our search.  My wild girl was spotted by people in EVERY location in about a four mile radius!  Up tall hills, by the golf course, in neighborhoods, by the creek... .

As dark was falling and I was arriving home in total devastation, I see her coming down the road, soaking wet, tongue hanging down, huge dog smile on her face, but SO HAPPY to see me!  I said, "Oh Bekkah Boo!  You just couldn't wait for mama!  Bad dog! ". Her tail went went down because I hurt her feelings.  So I hugged her smelly body, gave her an outdoor bath and loved on that girl like never before.

GOD, I miss her... .she's been gone since 2009.  I have a beautiful photo I took of this sparkling black dog on a white, snow covered golf course, ready to pounce at me.

I still have dreams of her.

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[Jeffree]

Thanks, bus boy!

You know, now that I think about it, it almost seems as though this is made worse by how much I leaned on Lucky to mirror my love for him back to me given the failings of my marriage. It wasn't anything insidious, just two buddies bonding even deeper against the backdrop of my abuser.

Which might raise the question of how my STBx was toward Lucky. Once again, she paid his care and her affection for him a lot of lip service and almost never followed through.

I fed him, let him out and threw the ball for him, walked him, gave him most of his treats, bought all his food and toys, took him to 90% of his vet visits, got him up and down the steps almost exclusively, etc. She would share in the easy stuff... .petting him and making these phony displays of affection. I have no doubt she loved him in her mind, but like with everything and everyone else, she forgets that love is more than just false words, it's also about the day-to-day "boring" tasks and responsibilities done consistently to provide safety and assurance that they are well cared for.

Also, I did not like how she would try and get him up the stairs and some of this bull about showing him who's boss. She'd use a loud voice and hand claps to coax him up. About all I would ever do to express displeasure was give him my stern voice, "Luckeeee... ."

J

[Jeffree]

Gems,

Isn't it something the rush of emotions when something unexpected happens to our beloved pets? Once Lucky had gone missing when I had let him out. The weather was good, so I left the backdoor open, but I had fallen asleep. 99% of the time he'd just let himself back in and lay on his bed. This one time when I woke up he wasn't around. He wasn't out back, not in his bed, not upstairs, not in the neighbor's yard. I had no idea where he was. Something told me to check the front of the house, and there he was at the front door curled up on the porch, which he never ever did on his own. Crazy.

He used to follow me into the basement when I would do the laundry, but he stopped that after a short time. I'd call him down, but he'd never come anymore. It made me wonder what spooked him. Instead, he'd get his ball and roll it down the stairs all the time. He really like doing that for some reason.

He was also afraid of strong winds and would curl up into a ball in the smallest nook he could fit into, which was usually between the sofa and coffee table. And he was afraid of my old stove when the oven was turned on. I could never figure that one out.

J

[Skip]

My Bailey (Golden Retriever, deceased), was afraid of umbrellas flapping. She had a weird reaction to it.  One day, maybe 6 years in, we were hiking and there was a hawk, and she had the same reaction.

She must have had a hawk experience.

Bailey loved to open doors and was very proud of doing it. She never made a scratch. When I have house guest, she would inevitably open the bathroom door on someone and then stand there with a huge smile on her face.

I warned my guests to lock the doors or expect a happy dog looking for praise.

[Gemsforeyes]

Oh Skip - that is too funny!  My current love, Lola is a country dog who apparently failed in the ranch setting.  I rescued her and on our first walk (it was hunting season) there was a shotgun blast in the distance.  She dropped to the asphalt and wouldn't MOVE!  I had to carry that 45 lb pup a half mile home.

Now she's a Florida dog and thunderstorms are brutal.  She's even scared of simple rain, but only in the backyard... .she WILL go out in the rain in the front - go figure! 

She is so smart!  When I ask her if she's HUNGRY- she licks her lips!

When I ask her if she wants a cookie, she goes to her bed and points her nose down so I put the cookie down.  She does NOT like things placed into her mouth.

Gemsforeyes

[GaGrl]

J, I'm so sorry for your loss. We put our heart and soul into our furbabies. I still miss each of the wonderful dogs we've had - each special for their own qualities.

[Numbers321]

That's a tough break all round, animals can be really special for us

[Jeffree]

Lucky also hated the noise of the vacuum cleaner, but then again who doesn't?

J

[Stjarna]

I'm so very sorry, Jeffree.  It's just so hard to lose such a good buddy, I know.  I hope the grief passes quickly.  Hugs... .