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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: A most horrible encounter: please help  (Read 1150 times)
Zen606
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« Reply #30 on: June 05, 2018, 01:18:43 AM »

Hi EdR,
Not sure what consequences means but I am concerned for you. First responsibility you have to you is to keep yourself safe. Sometimes in these situation, when dealing with a volatile person, the best thing to do is to say nothing and walk away.  Nevertheless, if you are scared, is there somewhere where you can go that will provide safety? Are there crisis centers in your area that could help with this? Relatives or friends that you could stay with?  Please let us know if you are OK. 

Zen606
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EdR
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« Reply #31 on: June 05, 2018, 09:18:15 AM »

Thank you Zen606. I can't/don't want to go in detail, but she more or less sent a family member after me. Not to physically hurt me, but to damage my reputation.
It didn't succeed. At least not yet. The truth was stronger this time around.

However, today I learned something which might be way more dangerous: I was told that she was really dysregulating/upset/hurt after what happened in that bar.
I knew that to a certain extent, because she did unblock me and texted an apology. But all the unexplainable stuff she did afterwards, was probably just her dysregulating heavily.

I know I am the one that got hurt. But still... .I feel very sorry for her. And that's what could make it more dangerous in the long run: I don't think a lot of people know her to behave this way. And that makes me really worried for her.

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« Reply #32 on: June 05, 2018, 11:53:05 PM »

Hi EdR,
So what plans have you made to keep yourself safe? You don't have to discuss them here if you don't want to, but please have some plans in place, just in case.
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EdR
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« Reply #33 on: June 06, 2018, 12:52:04 PM »

Hi EdR,
So what plans have you made to keep yourself safe? You don't have to discuss them here if you don't want to, but please have some plans in place, just in case.
Zen606

Well, what I think is safe to say is this:
I am not telling a lot of other people about the specifics of my new job anymore (so she hopefully won't know where I will be working in the very near future) and on top of that I am in full avoidance mode. I feel a little like a hermit right now.

And I will try to remain strong and will try to not let myself be guided by feeling sorry for her (which I do know). Some part of me wants to clear my name by contacting that family member. But that's probably the dumbest thing I could do, so I am basically just desperately trying to get this all off my mind in a way... .

Regarding potentially messy situations (this is already more than I can handle as far as I am concerned): I am with family now.
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« Reply #34 on: June 06, 2018, 03:07:54 PM »

I'm glad to hear you are with trusted company EdR.  I get the impression that there may be a further smear campaign in the offing and as you've said, attempting to clear your name in that case ought not to be something you concern yourself with ideally.  The truth has a way of showing itself and anyone who knows you well will tend to know what sounds realistic or otherwise.  Being your genuine self should be enough to cast doubt on anything off the wall that might be claimed, and countering any false claims that become a legal matter with evidence to the contrary may be necessary, so could be worth consideration.  

Protect yourself emotionally as well by focusing on other things in any way that you can and not entering into discussions that go down a negative track or are in any way connected to her behaviour.  :)o what you can to give yourself some breathing space.  As Zen606 has said, I hope you are keeping yourself physically safe too.  

Regards your anonymity here, with the volume of members and posts - many discussing similar situations, the likelihood of discovery is extremely slim.  If you have any concerns about your account being compromised, please contact a member of the staff team who can support you to resolve this.

Let us know how you're doing.

Love and light x
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« Reply #35 on: June 08, 2018, 12:35:08 AM »

Hi Wickerman,
Well said, "I have always believed 'Honesty is better observed than explained -if a man tells you he is honest... .RUN!' -yet in the maelstrom of our relationship I could not heed my own advice.

My bp trait ex was always telling me he was a "one woman man" little did I know that this would be the undoing of the relationship. He had been scouting around for other women all along while he was with me, and one day it "slipped" out of his mouth. I confronted him and watched him dig a hole for himself. The more he tried to explain his way out of it, the deeper he made the hole.  I could never trust him again after that, yet I still am so in love with him. Lesson learned, I guess. 

Zen606
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EdR
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« Reply #36 on: June 08, 2018, 07:18:54 AM »

Thanks Harley, thanks Zen.

I cannot say I am doing better. I am posting right now, because I felt and feel the urge to discuss this. My feeling said to contact her or at least her family member and talk about the absurdity of this situation.

Luckily my brain says 'HELL NO! YOU ARE SO NOT DOING THAT'.

But still... .I hate this. How on earth can I get painted black here? I am the one who got this weird text and got blocked. I am the one who got insulted/called names in a bar. She then didn't (even under pressure) want to say to cut off contact, she and her boyfriend even wanted to meet up again. She unblocked me. She sent me an excuse text.

The only thing I could have done wrong in her eyes, is that I did not directly praise her because of her excuse. I had to reflect on it.

So in what world can I suddenly become the total bad guy here? And she is probably suddenly absolved of all sins so to speak... .?


I am still so hurt because of all this... .and like I said in one of my previous posts: the fact that I learned once again that she is dysregulating for such a prolonged period of time over this makes me sad for her... .
Her friends will never see that. They will think it must have been me and she will fabricate a story accordingly. But she is in a way hurt as well and I think that is really hard... .

I wish I didn't know this... .than the urge of contacting someone would be non-existent at this point. But this kind of info makes it complicated. I just don't think I could or should do something. I would just be destroying myself... .


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Harley Quinn
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« Reply #37 on: June 08, 2018, 11:41:25 AM »

My guess is that most everyone here can relate to wanting to help our ex partner/friend, certainly within the r/s and many of us afterwards.  We have one of the 10 beliefs that can keep us stuck around that and it was certainly one of the main beliefs that I struggled with.

You have a good heart.  Being kind, caring and compassionate is a wonderful quality, as long as we also know when to turn that towards ourselves and put our own well being front and centre.  EdR, have you seen this video about helping a pwBPD?  Your post made me think of it and I wonder if it might speak to you right now.  The first time I saw this I really wished I'd seen it sooner.  It's only short, and I think it makes a very good point.

How to help a difficult person - Jordan Peterson

Let me know what you think.

Love and light x

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« Reply #38 on: June 08, 2018, 02:10:29 PM »

My guess is that most everyone here can relate to wanting to help our ex partner/friend, certainly within the r/s and many of us afterwards.  We have one of the 10 beliefs that can keep us stuck around that and it was certainly one of the main beliefs that I struggled with.

You have a good heart.  Being kind, caring and compassionate is a wonderful quality, as long as we also know when to turn that towards ourselves and put our own well being front and centre.  EdR, have you seen this video about helping a pwBPD?  Your post made me think of it and I wonder if it might speak to you right now.  The first time I saw this I really wished I'd seen it sooner.  It's only short, and I think it makes a very good point.

How to help a difficult person - Jordan Peterson

Let me know what you think.

Love and light x



Thank you Harley! I think that video contains a lot of wisdom. I've tried to help her, I was there for her, but eventually I should not risk drowning trying to 'save' her.
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« Reply #39 on: June 08, 2018, 02:11:43 PM »

That's right EdR.  We can never really save anyone but ourselves. 

Love and light x
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« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2018, 04:57:56 PM »

Hi Everyone,
After having the experience of being married to and divorcing a functional alcoholic husband, I learned the hard way that I could not change anyone after trying for 17 years. A few yeas after we divorced, we reconnected becoming friends,  and discussed the issues that led to the divorce, and then died within a year, age 49. One of the most intelligent men I have met, died from drinking.

So, many years later when the red flags began to go up with my bp trait ex and we broke up the second time over what I considered trivial matters, I did not argue with him because I knew then what I was dealing with. He tried hard to get me back, it worked, but I also knew that this would be the last re-cycle for me. 4 months later we broke up again -- in my opinion pure self-sabotage on his part. He tried to get me back again but this time I did not return, I was not playing that game anymore. Throughout this whole time I did not argue or discuss anything with him because I did not feel responsible for pointing out his behavior to him. I initiated NC within a few weeks after the break up, blocked him in emails and changed my phone number. Stopped frequenting places he goes to.  Why should I try to fix him? He is an adult and knows what he is doing, if he is not aware, then he is not.  Do I sound uncaring? I am not an uncaring person, I just learned the hard way. I save my energy for other battles I do need to wage.
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« Reply #41 on: June 08, 2018, 05:16:11 PM »

In almost a zen like capacity, was the same recycle I went through for the last round, it coincidentally lasted the equivalent time about 4 months, yet it was very much a case that I had became so accustomed to the r/s and this time was innately predicting how to play without even thinking. I judged correctly and left her at the first sign of the same old antics resurfacing, having enjoyed the honeymoon period one last time.

I liked your closing line, its worth emphasing for me, i had plenty going on in my life prior to meeting her to deal with, what an inordinate amount of time and energy expended during the r/s to firefight constantly. I was hoping I had met someone who would alleviate the other stresses of life, not just contribute them but replace them as the new central focus. It is strange how since she has been put out my life just how more trivial I look at the issues I had previously in comparison to putting up with, well, insanity basically... .
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« Reply #42 on: June 09, 2018, 04:32:14 AM »

Yeah, now it's just making sure I translate this theory into practice: I have to truly let go.

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« Reply #43 on: June 09, 2018, 04:01:31 PM »

Hi Cromwell and EdR,
It's enlightening to recognize the energy one has put into a relationship that because of the mental illness was not going to evolve to benefit both.

Yesterday I was thinking that perhaps what I miss about my bp trait ex was the attention and affection I received from him -- sans the tantrums -- and not necessarily the person itself. Not sure if this is very accurate because is not the behavior part of the person? Nevertheless, even after the ending of the relationship, I find it so painful to be away from him and here again, I am exerting energy that I could be using elsewhere. However, it is good to know that the energy is in the form of thoughts and not the "real thing". And thoughts drift away. 

To truly let go takes time and I have realized that it will happen as one works on oneself, its almost like the domino theory. Based on momentum one domino eliminates the next one. So we need to stay working on ourselves, work with the therapist, surround ourselves with positives, and get the support we need from this forum.
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« Reply #44 on: June 11, 2018, 11:44:17 AM »

Sorry guys... .here I am again... .

Read some posts here the last couple of days, which kinda let me start and excuse her behaviour somewhat... .
Group/peer pressure (family/friends), BPD... .you name it... .

So as I am writing this, I would somewhere deep down like to send her an e-mail. An e-mail asking why she's doing what she's doing? Why she unblocked me, send me an apology, but then eventually blocked me again from out of nowhere and sent a family member after me... .

I am not doing it. I don't think it would bring anything positive to the table and I just have to try and let go. But it sure helps to post it here. Thank you.

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« Reply #45 on: June 12, 2018, 11:43:23 PM »

Hi EdR,
Yes, it does help to post here because of the support. Last week I had such strong urges to be with the ex- but made myself strong and the support from this forum made a big difference.

You know EdR, you sound like you are a caring person and do care about your ex- but as you yourself say, what positivity can your emailing her bring? You care about her, but in this situation you need to think about you, take care of yourself, let her take care of herself. This is not being selfish, this is being responsible to you. Have you read  "The Road Less Travelled" by F. Scott Peck?  He says that our mental health is our responsibility and no one elses. This is so difficult to do because it is easier to take care of others than ourselves. Take this time to work on you. In the long run you will be glad you did.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
Zen606
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« Reply #46 on: June 14, 2018, 02:11:15 PM »

I want to echo what Zen606 says above:

Excerpt
our mental health is our responsibility and no one elses. This is so difficult to do because it is easier to take care of others than ourselves. Take this time to work on you. In the long run you will be glad you did.

As the majority of us would fit the description of caretaker / codependent types, turning our attention to ourselves can be extremely hard.  I know it was my toughest challenge when it came to being active in my detaching and healing.  Trust me when I say that one small step towards this will make a big difference.  What can you start or reinstate right away that you can enjoy, grow from and will benefit your sense of well being?

Love and light x

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« Reply #47 on: June 15, 2018, 01:56:59 AM »

Hi Harley Quinn,
Yes, learning what co-dependency was and acknowledging my contribution toward this in the marriage with my non-BPD late husband was a big step. I took this step about a year after we separated, when I began to put my life together.

Great question. Even if it's a small step, that's how we learn to walk. And when we are coming out of a relationship with a BPD person, we do have to start learning to walk again by ourselves.
Zen606
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« Reply #48 on: June 15, 2018, 09:57:58 AM »

Yeah, I am taking baby steps right now... .But sometimes fate seems to interfere: today I decided to go to a certain part of my city that I know really well. I wanted to see my old house and do some shopping in an area I haven't been for years.

But I returned home early. This neighbourhood is as far as you possibly could be from her home (in my city that is... .) . I never expected to see her there. Not in a million years.
It sounds totally unbelievable, but I just saw her there... .She didn't see me though and for a moment I thought 'let's confront her with her behaviour (not in a harsh way)', but I didn't. I just went home... .
I hate this. She doesn't look like an evil person. She just looked pretty good, but seemed quite shy. Just continiously running through her hair. I cannot understand how this same person basically 'betrayed' me as you guys put it... .
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« Reply #49 on: June 15, 2018, 06:58:25 PM »

Edr, basing a danger on how cute something looks, got me into a whole lot of problems. As for me saying the quote "betrayal" and attributing it to her behaviour: yes, she propogated rumours about you in your community that caused you to be confronted, a "horrible encounter" (your words based on rumours that you say have no basis of fact to them and for what she was dumbfounded and embarrassed by.

Do you think because a few week have past, the sun still appears rising in the east, sets in the west and youve seen her combing her hair looking oblivious to what she created in the not so distant past; changes any of the facts of what happened?

how many times do you read in papers after they have caught someone that the community thought "she/he was the last person they would have expected" and are completely taken aback. Its what your last line seems to emulate. I think your probably still having to rationalise a lot of conflicting shock of it all. Your instinct told you not to confront her, I think that your very strong that you listen to it, I know how hard it is because I didnt, even though I should have known better. If she has given the impression to others that you are pestering her, what better way to validate it by telling them that you "stalked" her in the middle of nowhere, as you say, she was far away from expected. She could easily portray that you might be following her, which would validate what she had said about you previously.
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« Reply #50 on: June 16, 2018, 01:57:55 AM »

Hi EdR,

Cromwell makes a good point about your potential lucky escape.  I've just been reading a really interesting thread on another board where Enabler describes his wife's need for 'weird love'.  Without quoting directly, he basically talks about how his wife elicits sympathy from others in order to receive this 'weird love' and it made me think of your situation.  I suspect that most of us can relate to this as well. 

You can now see how your friend has a tendency to create/fabricate situations whereby she can lean on others for support because so and so did or said this/that/the other.  Knowing what you do now, even if she were to reach out to you and want to reconnect, could you in all honesty put yourself in the line of fire and risk becoming the target again?  If not yourself, could you condone this behaviour towards others? 

I won't ask if there was something or someone plaguing her when you first met.  Instead I'll ask what or whom it was?  You'll likely find your pattern.

Love and light x
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« Reply #51 on: June 16, 2018, 05:59:30 AM »

Hi Cromwell and Harley!

You are both absolutely right! That's what my instinct said as well: talking to her would probably have been 'okayish'. She would hide behind her friends, family and would have said that she absolutely did nothing to hurt my feelings.

Directly afterwards she would probably tell her friends and family how weird it was she suddenly saw me there and she would fabricate a story in which I am indeed the awful and dangerous stalker (or let others fabricate it)... .

Maybe I am too scared... .maybe I should not fear these rumours. But like Harley said: am I willing to put myself in the line of fire again?



I am very interested in that thread you mentioned Harley. Could you post the link?
I think that certainly plays a role in her messed up behaviour. Uncertainty, triangulation, validation etc. etc. and just a basic inability to cope with these kind of feelings all mix and create this wonderful character... .:-(
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« Reply #52 on: June 16, 2018, 06:14:52 AM »

Sure EdR,

It's from the Conflicted board in a thread by Formflier.  Here's a link to the post that I mentioned.  Enabler also explains further about his wife's means of extracting 'weird love' further down the thread and it really resonated with me.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=325956.msg12974791#msg12974791

Love and light x
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« Reply #53 on: June 21, 2018, 06:50:46 AM »

Guys... .sorry... .but I need you to talk some sense into me.

I really feel a strong urge to send her an e-mail. Just to point out the absurdity of the past events. Deep down I feel a strong desire to talk about it and point out her weird behaviour. Why on earth all this ambiguity? I would really like to know what her thought process is in all of this. I just feel 'accept that she most likely suffers from BPD' is too simple... .

I have never send or told her anything malicious and I am not planning to do so now. But at times like this, I just feel I cannot let this go... .

For the record, I am not sending her anything, because anything would probably be used against me. It would probably be like: "you see, he just will not leave me alone". But is sometimes quite hard to resist the urge. Just like right now.

Am I being too scared? Not scared enough?

Could there be a way to make her reflect on her own behaviour?

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« Reply #54 on: June 21, 2018, 07:36:56 AM »

Ive had plenty of these moments during the r/s, I wrote them all down on paper and burned them after.

I made the right choice, you are trying to reason with a person who cant beyond their emotions at the time.

Catch her on a good day, she might be receptive, assuming not one mis placed word could spark her off.

what is the best you are trying to achieve? getting her to look into her actions is going to provoke her feeling a sense of shame at best - and this wont be in the good way of allowing her to change, it will cause her anger at being forced to confront it, and then she will use a defence mechanism to over-ride it long term anyway.

I know all about these impulses Edr, is it so critical that I couldnt ask you to delay it by 24hours? When these impulses come they reflect our state of mind at the moment, tomorrow you might still in some way have the same questions but minus that "itch" to act upon them.

the best thing I did was to resist these impulses, all I can say is that in the long run, the drama quickly fizzled out. Your contacting her can have the barbara streisand effect of making it appear that you are still concerned about what she has spread lies about you and you havent let it go. It just draws and amplies attention back over old ground.

ive never used the excuse that having BPD means that my ex didnt know what she was doing, quite the opposite. this isnt so much about getting someone to "see the light" over their actions, she already knows, it is actions that are done impulsively.

rest assured she knows what she has done to you. she may or may not have enough empathy to know had badly it has made you feel, but enough to know your not happy about it.

I held back in outpouring my grief to get some sort of sympathy from my ex was a good call, intuition based, I never knew a thing about BPD at the time. The best that would happen is she would have laughed about it, not because she is inherently evil, but because having to confront it would be having to entertain shame instead. most people dont like to confront shame in any case, for someone who is easily emotionally dysregulated, all the more not to provoke it. I cant overall see anything productive gained from trying, in converse, a lot to potentially lose by it resurfacing some new drama that you have tried to avoid.

the fact your posting here, you are listening to your intuition and something doesnt feel right about it. Id go with that, it has been the only thing that served me well. Dont get me wrong, I "fantasised" about actually having a proper open discussion with her, the best I got was under the influence of drugs and as I started she - ran - out the house. because the one time it happened before, she punched every wall and held a deep grudge that she only absolved me from by acknowledging I was on drugs at the time. It was enough to teach me a lesson from the start, that the "truth" is not always the best policy in the sense of a person that cant emotionally handle it maturely enough to work with it.

In the meantime, id suggest tell yourself youll decide to do this tomorrow, write down what you want to say and destroy it after. In life we come across people that just cant be reasoned with and trying to force it is counter productive. no-one can say for certain how it might go, but based on the big picture of what has happened so far, I think its unwise to open pandora's box.

theres a chance it could work out well, but based on the past and what youve mentioned, not good probability. If I was to turn around and say "go for it", id hate to carry any assigned blame for it making things worse. Im not only cautious for that reason, but I would and have done exactly the same in my own situation. Theres nothing more that I would have liked then to get my ex to see things from my perspective, chances are, she already knows, but getting her to confront it is the key problem. Instead it was "ground hog day" every day for her, with everything that happened before left to me to carry as an emotional burden.

I dont see it as being "scared" I see it as having an element of hope to turn things around from how they ended now that it feels like the dust has appeared to have settled from the last confrontation.
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« Reply #55 on: June 21, 2018, 11:32:12 AM »

Thank you Cromwell. I needed that 

I think all previous experiences have indeed shown that although she might seem receptive, eventually she will always turn in it around in her head and somehow blame me.
Probably this is indeed the shame which she then feels and cannot handle.

I do really hope you are right though. That somewhere deep down she knows she did the wrong thing and has hurt me.
Her behaviour seems to indicate the opposite of that though... .So I don't know how this works: would she still know 'the truth' or has her own fabrication replaced that truth and does she onlu believe 'her own twisted truth' now ?

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Harley Quinn
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #56 on: June 21, 2018, 12:53:54 PM »

There can be an element of that sometimes.  Certainly I think that my exBPDbf sometimes got so involved in his lies that he convinced himself.  However, based on the behaviour from her that you described when this was all brought to a head, she appeared to know that she'd been caught in the lie.  Either way, what would it mean to you?  If she acknowledges she did wrong or tells herself she was right, how does that affect your life?  

Ultimately EdR, we can't know everyone's mind.  Nor can we allow what is in said mind affect our own state.  Especially in the case of someone who has a personality disorder which causes them to frequently alter their opinions.  Keeping up with that is an impossible task.  History can be re written at any time.  Trying to get on the same page as that person and understand their reality isn't the way to go.  What matters most is your reality.  How does that look for you right now?  What are you feeling?

Love and light x
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We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
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« Reply #57 on: June 21, 2018, 01:20:37 PM »

Hi Harley!

I am quite the good guy. I care a lot about people and on a friendship/relationship level I am very cautious and a stand up guy. Whatever people try to take away from me, they cannot take away who I really am inside.

But that's more or less what I am feeling right now. She is somehow trying to destroy who I am at the core.
She is not living far away. She is living in the same city. 3 km from my house. I sense her painting black of me is changing the people around me. The people I work with. Of course they will not believe everything she says, but I notice how especially girls I know seem to be way more cautious around me.

And I just can't ask "does this have anything to do with... .". That would be a bad idea probably.

Both the absurdity of her behaviour AND the perceived consequences around me hurt me. They hurt me a lot.

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Harley Quinn
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I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #58 on: June 21, 2018, 01:44:14 PM »

Do you know for sure that she is saying bad things about you to these people?  Is it possible that your own discomfort is causing you to be extra vigilant to others' reactions to you?

I feel for you, I really do.  I'm a 'good guy' too, or 'gal' I suppose, and it really does sting when people have the wrong impression of who we are.  I can honestly say that it has taken all my will to not fight to defend my honour during the last 12 months at times when there has been misleading information and lies published about me as part of my family law case and it has been very hard indeed.  I was angry, insulted and hurt.  The only thing I can say, which I'm afraid won't make that feeling go away but hopefully can help you to ride it out, is that those who truly know and care about you will not doubt you.  Everyone else is not an important player in your life. 

We will be judged by strangers on a daily basis, based on what sex we are, what we wear, our age, a million things.  My view is, as long as they keep their opinions to themselves I don't have to be concerned about it.  In other words, don't try to get ahead of something that may or may not be happening.  Rise above it and just be yourself.  If someone asks you a direct question, give them a direct answer.  But you don't need to defend yourself if you've done nothing wrong.  The truth will show itself in time.  One way or another, anyone who is paying attention to the (possible?) smear campaign will come to realise that they took the word of someone who's facts are unreliable.  Honour yourself by not lowering yourself to the level of idle gossip.  As long as she's not affecting your livelihood or legal standing, then the news of today is tomorrow's chip paper.  Sorry, British saying... .

Love and light x
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« Reply #59 on: June 21, 2018, 04:29:15 PM »

Thank you so much Harley. Like you said, although I really know I should just continue to live my life it still hurts and like you I am struggling not to defend my honour.

With respect to the smear campaign: well, I know for a fact it was/is happening. I just do not know the specifics. But I think she has done it (again) in such a way in which she feels completely justified and not to blame.

What she basically did in the past (according to mutual friends and what her boyfriend told me outside that bar) is this:
She tells them some stuff about how I would have send her a message. Some truths, some half truths and some complete lies. She never ever tells them about her replies and messages or behaviour towards me. She does that in such a way that she hints at me stalking or possibly even harassing her (do not know that last one for sure though), without actually saying those things explicitly. But she clearly creates an image of herself as some kind of victim. Probably to get this 'weird love' you were talking about earlier.

Some friends in her outer circle doubted her and asked her to talk with me more than a year ago. She pushed them away. They were with her or against her. Her boyfriend doubted her as well during this last 'situation'.
But she always has these 2 'evil friends' (sorry... .but they are truly something straight out of a high school drama movie). She almost seem to 'rely' on them to cover her ass and blow every story out of proportion. Because she only tells certain things and leaves out everything which may hurt her position and mixes it with half-truths an lies, a completely new story gets fabricated.
These 2 friends have brothers and sisters who are friends with people I know and work with. I know new rumours started there just recently. So I don't think it is too far fetched to assume she started a smear campaign again together with these two friends... .
But like I said... .I don't know the specifics. Just that something was/is happening... .
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