She often used the phrase ' I was brought up differently to you'

[wantmorepeace]

anxiety5, Thanks for saying just what I needed to hear.

[anxiety5]

anxiety5, Thanks for saying just what I needed to hear.

You are welcome. I hope you have a great evening!

[Andy1963]

In a million years I didn't expect to be in this place
We are now back in  relationship,  she is making me promises continuously
But, I am absolutely not sucked into her game
Im being very very cautious and am in no way allowing myself to believe this will be different
Ive decided to enjoy aspects of it but with the complete realisation of who and what she is
This is actually very cathartic and when it ends,  and I know it will, it will be on my terms
For months she was gone, and I believed it was forever
Now she is telling me shes planning our future together
I am doing everything I can to maintain balance
This place has been my haven, hopefully the wisdom on here will keep me sane

[Andy1963]

Glitch number 1 already
We really are not going to get too far
Im seriously concerned for her well being
But what can I do?
I can't even begin to explain how crazy she is its bizarre

[grumpydonut]

Andy,

No offence, but what did you expect? Your post previous to this suggested you knew what was coming, and now it has started to come. The question should be "what am I going to do to protect myself from the storm ahead".

[Andy1963]

You are absolutely right grumpydonut
What i will say is that she seems determined to overcome this
That glitch led to an intense conversation,  I explained my position in depth and held nothing back
She has agreed to therapy
Im still very cautious about all of this
I know more now than I ever did how delicate her condition is,

[Goosey]

I kinda commend you and her.
Seems your not being abused at this time so that’s good.
Seems she acknowledges there is a mental issue playing out.
Seems you two can rationally discuss it.
Well now I’m just envious haha, I didn’t understand what was going on mentally until a couple of years into the insanity that played out. Had I known how to respond or not respond maybe it would have been less destructive.
I do wish all involved the best. There is always hope.
 I have no contact with my ex. But our daughter does talk with her again. My ex has been employed again and has even talked with her immediate family. So things seem to be stability in her life. That’s good enough for me. I am glad to hear it. I wish her nothing but happiness.

[grumpydonut]

Perhaps I'm just a pessimist, but this all reads like someone with borderline using a "commitment" to therapy as a way to draw you back in.

One of the common themes from reading through this forum is that a person suffering with borderline must want to go to therapy purely for themselves in order for them to stick to that commitment. This doesn't sound like what is happening.

Andy, obviously I am no expert and I hope for you that my opinion is wrong, but this sounds like a trap.

[Goosey]

The thing I find interesting is the actual admission there is a problem involving mental health. I never got that and never will.
All I get is “you have no idea what you have done”.
I don’t want to re live it all and I am by far not perfect and I know what’ll I had done. Scramble, plead and pay dearly.
So I just find it interesting that there could be a rational discussion of the situation. I never experienced that. So I don’t want to put in false hope just seems rational to talk it out 
I would say “what do you have to lose” but that seems too relevant to current events.

[grumpydonut]

That's fair, Goosey. I had the opposite thing happen. Mine visited a therapist, but only to keep my by her side until her replacement was ready.

As for what does Andy have to lose. A lot - time, self respect, self esteem.

[Goosey]

I was being sarcastic. I shouldn’t be flippant I apologize

[HopelessBroken]

I agree with you Donut, and it’s coming from a place of wanting  to protect Andy since we have been there and know how this often turns out. My expwBPD discarded me more than once while in therapy. I went back after recycles with my eyes wide open and guarded = I fell back in love and was brainwashed quickly.

We are here Andy, when/if you need us.

[once removed]

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