A turning point? Interesting thoughts

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My story lives in my other posts, but today I was looking through my pictures because I needed to find an old picture for something. Of course, I scrolled through a lot of pictures of me and my wife.

When she first left, I couldn't even do this. Too painful. Even a few weeks ago, I came across our wedding pictures, almost cried, and had a few days of (fruitless and pointless) contact with her.

Today, when I saw the pictures all I could think of was "that poor guy (me)." Instead of seeking to get back to that place, I thought "wow, if he only knew what would happen in 1 month, etc etc etc." I felt like I could comfort myself. I'm not out of the woods, heck I'm still conflicted, but I am healing.

Not sure why I posted this, but hopefully it helps someone and I'd be curious everyone's thoughts.

Thank you in advance

[WhatToDo47]

My story lives in my other posts, but today I was looking through my pictures because I needed to find an old picture for something. Of course, I scrolled through a lot of pictures of me and my wife.

When she first left, I couldn't even do this. Too painful. Even a few weeks ago, I came across our wedding pictures, almost cried, and had a few days of (fruitless and pointless) contact with her.

Today, when I saw the pictures all I could think of was "that poor guy (me)." Instead of seeking to get back to that place, I thought "wow, if he only knew what would happen in 1 month, etc etc etc." I felt like I could comfort myself. I'm not out of the woods, heck I'm still conflicted, but I am healing.

Not sure why I posted this, but hopefully it helps someone and I'd be curious everyone's thoughts.

Thank you in advance

[BigOof]

Sounds tough. Time to make some new memories.

Join a club recently? Gone out with friends? Got in touch with lost relatives?

[GaGrl]

There is a grieving by process involved in letting go of a relationship. It's like grieving a death.

Let yourself move through the process.

[WhatToDo47]

Sounds tough. Time to make some new memories.

Join a club recently? Gone out with friends? Got in touch with lost relatives?

You're right! Time for new and better memories. I have been spending a lot of time with family (nice to reconnect with them without BPD drama present). Been working a lot, which is good because I enjoy it and the extra money can be spent on better memories one day.

[WhatToDo47]

There is a grieving by process involved in letting go of a relationship. It's like grieving a death.

Let yourself move through the process.

Thank you, I think I appreciate these boards so much because everyone has been through it. It's not a normal breakup. I had plenty of those, they're sad but makes sense. This is sad and doesn't make sense, but I hope one day I will find acceptance of what happened and not always feel conflicted.

[ForeverDad]

This is sad and doesn't make sense, but I hope one day I will find acceptance of what happened and not always feel conflicted.

For us, Closure is something we Gift ourselves, we wont get it from a pwBPD.

[WhatToDo47]

For us, Closure is something we Gift ourselves, we wont get it from a pwBPD.

True. For some reason, I don't feel a need for closure. For me, it's more like I would rather have it work or be left alone. Once it's in the past, it's in the past. The limbo state is what's killing me. But I guess if it's up to the pwBPD it will be in limbo forever.

[maxsterling]

For us, Closure is something we Gift ourselves, we wont get it from a pwBPD.

For sure.  To get closure from a pwBPD is to assume they have a rational thought process. 

[WhatToDo47]

For sure.  To get closure from a pwBPD is to assume they have a rational thought process. 

That is an assumption that has bit me countless times over the years 

[CoherentMoose]

There is a new life out there for you.  Go get it! 

CoMo

[WhatToDo47]

There is a new life out there for you.  Go get it! 

CoMo

Thank you! All of your support means so much to me truly Couldn't do it without all of you.