Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
December 26, 2024, 07:02:36 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
222
Pages: [1]   Go Down
« previous next »
  Print  
Author Topic: A turning point? Interesting thoughts  (Read 579 times)
WhatToDo47
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 465
« on: February 04, 2022, 07:17:26 PM »
My story lives in my other posts, but today I was looking through my pictures because I needed to find an old picture for something. Of course, I scrolled through a lot of pictures of me and my wife.

When she first left, I couldn't even do this. Too painful. Even a few weeks ago, I came across our wedding pictures, almost cried, and had a few days of (fruitless and pointless) contact with her.

Today, when I saw the pictures all I could think of was "that poor guy (me)." Instead of seeking to get back to that place, I thought "wow, if he only knew what would happen in 1 month, etc etc etc." I felt like I could comfort myself. I'm not out of the woods, heck I'm still conflicted, but I am healing.

Not sure why I posted this, but hopefully it helps someone and I'd be curious everyone's thoughts.

Thank you in advance Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged
BigOof
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Never-ending divorce
Posts: 376
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2022, 08:27:21 PM »
Sounds tough. Time to make some new memories.

Join a club recently? Gone out with friends? Got in touch with lost relatives?
Logged
GaGrl
Ambassador
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5761
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2022, 08:38:54 PM »
There is a grieving by process involved in letting go of a relationship. It's like grieving a death.

Let yourself move through the process.
Logged

"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
WhatToDo47
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 465
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2022, 09:26:25 PM »
Quote from: BigOof on February 04, 2022, 08:27:21 PM
Sounds tough. Time to make some new memories.

Join a club recently? Gone out with friends? Got in touch with lost relatives?

You're right! Time for new and better memories. I have been spending a lot of time with family (nice to reconnect with them without BPD drama present). Been working a lot, which is good because I enjoy it and the extra money can be spent on better memories one day.
Logged
WhatToDo47
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 465
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2022, 09:27:35 PM »
Quote from: GaGrl on February 04, 2022, 08:38:54 PM
There is a grieving by process involved in letting go of a relationship. It's like grieving a death.

Let yourself move through the process.

Thank you, I think I appreciate these boards so much because everyone has been through it. It's not a normal breakup. I had plenty of those, they're sad but makes sense. This is sad and doesn't make sense, but I hope one day I will find acceptance of what happened and not always feel conflicted.
Logged
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18516


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2022, 09:58:37 PM »
Quote from: WhatToDo47 on February 04, 2022, 09:27:35 PM
This is sad and doesn't make sense, but I hope one day I will find acceptance of what happened and not always feel conflicted.

For us, Closure is something we Gift ourselves, we wont get it from a pwBPD.
Logged
WhatToDo47
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 465
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2022, 11:46:25 AM »
Quote from: ForeverDad on February 04, 2022, 09:58:37 PM
For us, Closure is something we Gift ourselves, we wont get it from a pwBPD.

True. For some reason, I don't feel a need for closure. For me, it's more like I would rather have it work or be left alone. Once it's in the past, it's in the past. The limbo state is what's killing me. But I guess if it's up to the pwBPD it will be in limbo forever.
Logged
maxsterling
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2022, 04:59:35 PM »
Quote from: ForeverDad on February 04, 2022, 09:58:37 PM
For us, Closure is something we Gift ourselves, we wont get it from a pwBPD.

For sure.  To get closure from a pwBPD is to assume they have a rational thought process. 
Logged
WhatToDo47
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 465
« Reply #8 on: February 08, 2022, 09:52:37 PM »
Quote from: maxsterling on February 08, 2022, 04:59:35 PM
For sure.  To get closure from a pwBPD is to assume they have a rational thought process. 

That is an assumption that has bit me countless times over the years 
Logged
CoherentMoose
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 238
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2022, 05:50:56 PM »
There is a new life out there for you.  Go get it! 

CoMo
Logged
WhatToDo47
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 465
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2022, 07:02:36 PM »
Quote from: CoherentMoose on February 10, 2022, 05:50:56 PM
There is a new life out there for you.  Go get it! 

CoMo

Thank you! All of your support means so much to me truly Smiling (click to insert in post) Couldn't do it without all of you.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) >  Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting > Topic: A turning point? Interesting thoughts
 « previous next »
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!