14. Stop Walking on Eggshells - Paul T. Mason MS

[Randi Kreger]

They are more similar than they are different. The revised one has new info about treatment and that kind of thing. Most of what we did when we revised it is make it easier to read and absorb by formatting and call outs and lists.

[Unknown1]

Validates my breakup. Very well written and easy to read/understand.

[Rockylove]

This book found me.  I was avoiding going home one afternoon as I'd been walking on eggshells for weeks and had been feeling quite ill about my situation.  I stopped into a thrift store that I'd seen on several occasions and as I always do... .I looked at the book racks.  They had a special... .6 for $1.  I couldn't lose.  As I browsed the titles, this book screamed at me!  Yeah... .I'm kidding, but after picking it up, I had a difficult time concentrating enough to find 5 more books!  I went home and read... .and cried... .and read some more.  The information gave me the impetus to search further and I found this site.  I'm grateful... .without a doubt, I'd still be feeling empty and sick to my stomach had I not been gifted this book through some divine intervention.

I didn't give the book an excellent rating as I don't have anything to compare it to and don't have enough knowledge on the subject to determine if the advice is sound, but I really question some of the thinking.  Once I do a bit more exploring, reading and research... .I may change my mind.

[Randi Kreger]

Does anyone know if the book and the workbook has been translated into French?  It seems like only "The essential Family Guide to BPD... .  " has been translated into French.  I was hoping to find the other 2 for my mom (non-BPD) who only speak/read French.

Yes it has been. Contact thru new harbinger site.

[Themis]

I read this one recently.

Good:

  Explaning the crucial difference between high-functioning and low functioning. Many internet resources focus on low-functioning pwBPD and people that have really obvious traits.

Learning about high-functioning made me feel sane, and explained my secret little situation where no-one else sees this side of them seeing they function pretty well with people they aren't close to.

Caring and considerate way of describing pwBPD, covers needy types that are not really covered on the internet. The internet often focuses on people that have been jilted or painted black by some raging pwBPD. I admit this is what is happening with me. However, there are many people with BPD that are nice, caring, have empathy and their biggest traits are the loneliness, depression, and self-harm.

Those pwBPD don't need any extra stigma, and the loving way in which some things were explained was good.

Explaining the impact it can have on someone without BPD--this made me feel sane again. I felt all these symptoms, and was starting to think I was some kind of Waif myself. I have lost esteem, depression, lost energy, lost friends. Pretty lonely.

I felt like I am pathetic.

Hearing this is the usual case when someone is in this extreme relationship was comforting.

Led me to this website.

 Does really give enough solutions. I feel this website where you can ask specific questions is a better resource for solving problems.

The book is really a good starting ground and great way to get clarity.

[Ring of fire]

Once again. I am looking for someone who speaks Polish to talk to my Mom abut the disorder. There has to be somebody out there... .  

[lbjnltx]

Hello Ring of Fire,

It must be very frustrating to have to translate things or find translators.

I have google translate on my laptop.  Is this something that might help?

There is also one called translationbuddy that can be added to a toolbar.

Does your mom use the internet at all?

[Ring of fire]

No,she is very old. Thank you for your suggestion but I would have to translate  the entire "Walking on Eggshells" book.

[lbjnltx]

That stinks

Could you print off translated info from online and mail it to her/give it to her to read?

[NPJ]

Go onto alegro polish ebay get it there menu sysyem same as ebay uk.Use kup teraz for buy now .

[Ring of fire]

NPJ-That was an awesome idea and exactly what I was looking for! Thanks,you helped  a lot.

[Soldier Of Sorrow]

This is a little off.

https://youtu.be/85_eYftuv0k?t=1m59s

SoS

[Soldier Of Sorrow]

After listening to the speakers at the BPD talk that was held by the NEA, I am starting to feel that the ONLY people who could avoid getting hurt from the interactions with pwBPD are their therapists!

It seems that only the professionals who are in practice in the field of counseling/ psychiatry are equipped with the cognitive toolbox to suspend sentimental judgements, dodge their push/pull maneuvers , splitting and  emotional dis-regulation... .

For you guys who have viewed the relevant video links, what are your thoughts on the subject?   

[ucmeicu2]

After listening to the speakers at the BPD talk that was held by the NEA, I am starting to feel that the ONLY people who could avoid getting hurt from the interactions with pwBPD are their therapists!

It seems that only the professionals who are in practice in the field of counseling/ psychiatry are equipped with the cognitive toolbox to suspend sentimental judgements, dodge their push/pull maneuvers , splitting and  emotional dis-regulation... .

For you guys who have viewed the relevant video links, what are your thoughts on the subject?   

my thoughts?  that even the therapists sometimes get hurt!  did you know that the protocol of DBT is that even the therapists themselves have a therapy meeting once a week to i guess decompress from all the BPD drama in the DBT setting?  so yeah, even the therapists need to be supported by other therapists b/c even they are susceptible to being hurt/manipulated by pwBPD.

gosh i even remember seeing someone post here saying they were a therapist and had been/were in a r/s with someone that ended up having BPD.  the therapist didn't even spot the BPD before it was too late!  and she was caught in the same painful web as the rest of us laypeople are. 

looks like no ones gettin' out unscathed.   :'(

[Soldier Of Sorrow]

It's a good post break-up book.

[Lamaiel]

I loved SWOE back when I first read it. I feel like it resonates and validates my breakup a bit more.  

It also really described BPD symptoms and behaviors from a non-BPD point of view, as opposed to just giving you the 9 criteria and going from there.  The interactive nature of the workbook allowed me to conjure examples of specific behaviors my exBPD had that relate to the 9 criteria.

[Deborah75001]

I would like to know whether there is any difference between the 1st edition (dark purple cover)

and the 2nd edition (light pink cover)  of Stop Walking on Eggshells?

I heard that it was not useful for a parent a BPD adolescent/child ?

Thank you very much

Deborah

[enlighten me]

I only gave a mark of fair as the book is more valid for people exciting a relationship. That said there is a lot you can learn from it about your exs behaviour and your role in it. I have shown this to my uBPD exw when discussing my exgf and she seemed to have a lightbulb moment when reading the dsm.

I have also leant it to my exmil and a friend who thinks her mum has BPD. They have all thought it interesting and useful.

[Red5]

Came across this the other day... it’s all her, eight hours worth of audio... .

https://m.you.tube.com/watch?v=5QY4JZJonCs