SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[Discarded]

54

[jalk]

My score is 42. Not so great. I think it does fluctuate from day to day or week to week.

[harmony1]

11 today not too bad

[WhyMe?]

I hit 16 which is odd. It's lower than the last time.

BUT at the moment I am really weepy and upset with issues with the bf. Wonder if I missed a section, will have to go back and look. I did have a bunch of 0's but they are typical for me so they'd have been zero before.

Must be the sunny day despite the bf being an ___

[nautica73]

Ok I got a 40 what does this mean? I'm nervous about this score.

[Matt]

Ok I got a 40 what does this mean? I'm nervous about this score.

Nautica, I think you can see the bar chart above showing that the most common scores for our members are 26 to 50 - in the same range as your scores.  This is "moderate depression" - it needs to be looked after but isn't unusual.

This is about the range I have been in since separating from my wife.  To me it means I still function OK, but take less joy in stuff, sleep more, and think way too much about bad stuff I can't do anything about.

My counselor gave me some practical things that have helped quite a bit:  regular (daily) cardiovascular exercise, eating healthy and the same time every day, no caffeine after noon, music, and anything else I enjoy and find relaxing.  Stuff he encouraged me to avoid:  dwelling on things that make me sad, and anything that adds to my stress (like cable news).  Basically, more time on the stuff that makes you feel good and be healthy, and less time on unhealthy and stressful stuff.

It has helped quite a bit, though I am still working on it.

[dilbert]

also try lifting weights. it helped me alot. gotta stick to a routine. if you would like i can make you out an exercise plan. after about 3 or 4 days your endorphins kick in and its great

[nautica73]

Thanks so much matt and dilbert! And yes I would love the workout plan and is the workout plan something for us weak women? Lol and I hope my score will improve I'm just two weeks out after ten yrs and a self recycle I got burned hard again and it feels worst then the first times because I actually kKNOW there is someone new and it sucks so please need all the help I can get.

[dilbert]

Thanks so much matt and dilbert! And yes I would love the workout plan and is the workout plan something for us weak women? Lol and I hope my score will improve I'm just two weeks out after ten yrs and a self recycle I got burned hard again and it feels worst then the first times because I actually kKNOW there is someone new and it sucks so please need all the help I can get.

ya ill come up with something for ya. usually take between half hour to an hour a day. i mean we could do the full body blast or just some toning. let me know. im not a buff dude, but i have a friend who is and got me on a great plan. so ive learned alot about it. and eats lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of lean protein

[left4good]

I scored a 10.  I'm alright with that for sure! I think it's the optimism in me making it so low.  Good things happening for me,  better things to come.  I've still got some unanswered questions about myself!  But for now,  I'm good! 

[nautica73]

Ok dilbert I will try the toning first do u need to know anything from me?

[dilbert]

Ok dilbert I will try the toning first do u need to know anything from me?

ya just message me your height and weight if you want to. but for sure let me know if you have any limitations... .bad knees, sore back, any other medical problems. ill run everything by him and get it back to you in a day or two. he's going to get certified for personal training by this summer. so he knows what he's doing. of course if you want to tone, then low weights-high reps, but ill get you some exercises other than the basics.

[nautica73]

Yes I'm 5'3 and since being in the relationship with the ex BPD partner... I've become obese and have bad knee and lower back I so need help in all areas

[Rooster]

I'm a year and a half out and scored a 20.

[dilbert]

Yes I'm 5'3 and since being in the relationship with the ex BPD partner... I've become obese and have bad knee and lower back I so need help in all areas

well your back is where everything starts so... .make sure when you do back exercises you use right form. for your back id do some lat pulldowns,upright rows and 'lawnmowers'. remember, low weight-lots of reps. you wanna be doing between 15-20 reps per set. and i recommend starting with just 3 sets of each exercise. for your biceps i say do curls with a curl bar and then straight bar then finish off with dumbbell hammer curls. that way you hit your biceps at all angles.

Day 1: back and biceps... .do these together as you use your biceps to to do back as well

Day 2: chest and triceps... .flat bench, incline bench, and flies for chest. for triceps do pulldowns with rope,(you get more toning with rope than you do with the bar), and either some kickbacks or close grip presses. REMEMBER low weight high reps

Day 3: legs. hamstrings,leg extensions and calf raises... .trust me, you wont be able to walk afterwards

Day 4: shoulders. front and side raises and military press.

and on any day you can do shrugs for your lats... .you can do them on shoulder days or any other day you want.take 2 days off then start over again

[Nightingale]

Woohoo high 70s down to 24 in 3 months A stint in hospital, going NC, antidepressants and therapy. Definately heading in the right direction.

[dacadad]

43 not too bad compared to a few weeks ago.  I think I'm getting stronger.  I'm sure it takes time.

[Matt]

8/24/08  19  (A few weeks after my divorce was final, and a week before my son got in big trouble.)

6/30/09  28

8/25/09  21

9/15/09  15

12/6/09  20

2/12/10  17

Today    7

Spending a lot of time with my kids recently;  and a good career direction;  and very little communication with my ex.  Plus counseling, and bpdfamily.com.

I'm kind of surprised by this though;  it kind of snuck up on me.  (The improvement I mean.)

[Tippy]

Today I scored 3... .bit shocked actually.  I have bouts now and again of crying when I get  remembered of him, apart from that I am really happy.  I remember taking this test when my ex left me 18 months ago and it was very bad, up in the 60`s.  My doctor was very concerned and I went to a therapist and was put on medication.  Time really does heal.

[Tivo8MyNeighbors]

I scored a 45, which is no shocker.  I lost a baby in October, and when I take stock of the last three years, it's been one upheaval after another.  But I just saw my doctor about it, told her I felt like I was maintaining a low level of depression nearly all the time, high-functioning (my son is well cared-for, the laundry's [mostly] done, no one's starving in our home, etc.) but low, low motivation, and she's put me on a small dose of antidepressants.  She and I are on the same page about the neurochemical effects of being raised in an abusive home, and I feel comfortable on this course of medication under her care.  I told her three years ago, I wrote a legal brief that helped set Federal precedent regarding search and seizure law.  Now, I do well to have clean clothes on every day.  I'm betting I get my wheels back on the track soon.

Thanks for featuring this. 

Tivo

[WhyMe?]

35 - December

21 - Jan 24

16 - Mar 21 (odd as I was weepy then)

20 - Apr 4 (still weepy)

[centella]

One month after the final break-up: 66

Better days will come... .

[Shane Preston]

centella,

Better days WILL come.

I left my wife in October 2008, with my head spinning... .scored high for the first 1/4 of 2009, and then scored lower every time I did the test.

Scored 4 today. Still in therapy, still having access/custody issues, still have to interact with Crazyhorse once a week, but feeling bulletproof.

I've learnt that rumination is my ruination!

Shane

[WayneB73]

got a score of 60 here, i guess thats not looking so good ;(

[SoundMind]

Scored over 80. Have known I was spiraling down even further the last week or so.

I am dealing with multiple issues: I finally clued into the fact that something was wrong with dBPDstbxh about 18 months ago when I found out my Mom's cancer was incurable and she had weeks to months left to live. She ended up living just over 6 mths from that day, but my BPSO was horrible, horrible, horrible. The betrayal I felt was more painful than losing my dear mother (the best person I have ever known in my life).

Now in the aftermath I am dealing with so much FOG. I lost my Mom, and I feel like I couldn't even enjoy the last months of her life because I had to give 80% of my energy to dealing with him and the breakdown of our marriage (after multiple attempts to save it). Then we had SO's diagnosis, which was a momentary relief but knowing the label for his disorder doesn't take away the pain it has caused and continues to cause. I feel guilty for "failing" at marriage, for refusing to be his emotional caretaker, for exposing my kids to him, for neglecting my family (my sisters and Dad are so worried about me and I rarely call them). Also, there is still so much grief about my Mom. It comes in waves and takes me by surprise. I wish I had her with me now.

I am on meds and seeing a T to get through this difficult time, but I see I am still far from coming out the other side. **SIGH**

[centella]

centella,

Better days WILL come.

I left my wife in October 2008, with my head spinning... .scored high for the first 1/4 of 2009, and then scored lower every time I did the test.

Scored 4 today. Still in therapy, still having access/custody issues, still have to interact with Crazyhorse once a week, but feeling bulletproof.

I've learnt that rumination is my ruination!

Shane

 Thank you dear Shane. I'm proud of you for all your progress. And yes, it is true, we seem to be our worst enemies as we blame ourselves and review things in our minds over and over again... .I'm trying to let go now. And avoiding trying to figure or understand a disturbing or painful memory more than once. It comes to my mind, I process it and I file it. If it comes to my mind again, I just put it back in the file, without analysing it all over again. This seems to be working for me as it keeps me from entering the self destruction cycle again. I have faith in a better future 

I wish you to keep recovering and good luck for your custody issues.  xoxo

Centella

[centella]

Dear SoundMind, I feel so much for you.  xoxox

I wish I could say something that could make you feel better, but I know that words are never enough to ease such amount of pain. All I can say to you is that through all the pain I've been through in the course of my life, it has always been proved that pain does subsides with time. In the meanwhile, seek some hope in the thought that one day all this will be behind you and you will smile again without that heavy weight on your shoulders and that pain on your chest. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You did your best with the amount of knowledge and resources you had at that time. You do know that if by any chance those situations could happen again, now, after you have experienced and learned from them, maybe you could do a little better, but how could you do better before you had been through these experiences?  It's easy to say "I should've done this, or that", but the truth is that, could you really have done better without knowing what you know now? I don't think you could, my dear. I wish I could hug you. You're not alone. And when you overcome all these hardships, and you will overcome them, you will be so much wiser and stronger.

Please take care of yourself. One day at a time, small baby steps, and you'll find your way out of the FOG.

Centella

[SoundMind]

Thanks centella. This board means so much to me! When I talk to my friends/sisters, they always say something like "get out! NOW! What are you waiting for? Leave!" and they're right, but they don't understand the FOG and how it can mire you in inaction. Here, everyone understands and that has truly saved my sanity.

Thank you to everyone, just for being here and sharing your stories. It has helped more than you can know.

xoxox

[HOF]

I got a 1!



4 years out... .kids were rumbuctios this weekend, so I'm a wee bit tired - that's where the 1 came from


YEEHAAWWW - I am out of OZ - still dealing with the crazy one - but that's dealing with - not impacted by!

HOF

[Satori1964]

I got a 4.  Lucky number... .     6-9 months ago it was a completely different story... .  Having gone NC was and is the key to my happiness... . 

- Ciao