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Author Topic: BEHAVIORS: Anger and Rage and passive aggression  (Read 23658 times)

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: No contact
Posts: 46

« Reply #30 on: February 05, 2020, 09:17:10 AM »

I’m surprised to learn that passive aggressiveness is not a identifier for BPD.

Although my mother has not been professionally diagnosed with BPD, after learning of the disorder, I feel confident that she has this disorder.

In my experience, her use of passive aggressiveness, as a tool to manipulate others to meet her needs/wants, is her primary way of interacting.

Maybe it is a byproduct of the disorder that is common?

Crispy Waffle

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced!
Posts: 37

« Reply #31 on: August 26, 2020, 05:24:01 PM »

The lack of frequent outward, stereotypical "rage" from my estranged wife left me questioning, at first, whether she was BPD. But then I started finding more info on "quiet rage" and realized that in fact, she is a very angry person, but it doesn't manifest in the way we typically think of anger and rage. She will cry and emote, going into the overt blaming mode, and while considering all of this I also recalled those moments where she would let out these primal screams and then rail at me, accusing me of being so abusive, damaging, etc. And I realized that typically happened when I really pushed back hard on her when she would be engaging in the heavy blaming and/or insisting on being right, getting her way, etc. I learned to cave and avoid her BS by capitulating over the many years, but in hindsight I realized that often if I pushed back on her more significant (frequent) boundary violations she went ape-$hit! Stand your ground, and they can't handle running out of ammo.
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