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Author Topic: Side effects mental/physical during rs with pBPD  (Read 8500 times)
MrConfusedWithItAll
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« Reply #30 on: November 02, 2014, 10:32:57 AM »

If ever you start doubting things just read through some of their forums.  They really are messed up people.  I was reading one thread and this lady was going on about the need to practise sexual ethics in the context of a relationship with a non but then proceeded to justify how these ethics can be modified when at a sex party.  Walk away. Run away
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willtimeheal
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« Reply #31 on: November 02, 2014, 05:32:32 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.
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antonio1213
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« Reply #32 on: November 02, 2014, 06:11:29 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.
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bungenstein
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« Reply #33 on: November 02, 2014, 06:19:57 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.

Me three! Smiling (click to insert in post)

I had to adopt some sort of fake persona just to deal with her, I was constantly on edge and worried about she'd do. My friends told me also that I just wasn't myself when she was around.

Its good to know we all got hit with the same poison and that there is nothing wrong with us, we are free.

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fred6
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« Reply #34 on: November 02, 2014, 06:24:56 PM »

Its good to know we all got hit with the same poison and that there is nothing wrong with us, we are free.

Free from her prison, but transferred to my own prison, Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)... .
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ATLandon
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Relationship status: Blissfully divorced!
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« Reply #35 on: November 02, 2014, 06:32:35 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.

Me three! Smiling (click to insert in post)

I had to adopt some sort of fake persona just to deal with her, I was constantly on edge and worried about she'd do. My friends told me also that I just wasn't myself when she was around.

Its good to know we all got hit with the same poison and that there is nothing wrong with us, we are free.

Ditto and ditto! I'll never forget I was at a family barbecue and my oldest sister pulled aside to talk to me about my wife and how we were doing. She asked if I was okay and why I had gotten so quiet over the years. My sister said she felt uncomfortable being around me because I never said anything when my wife was around. And she was right. Being with my uBPDwife in the first half of our relationship was like having an invisible cop around constantly read my Miranda Rights, "Anything you say can and will be held against you... ."
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bungenstein
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« Reply #36 on: November 02, 2014, 06:38:10 PM »

Being with my uBPDwife in the first half of our relationship was like having an invisible cop around constantly read my Miranda Rights, "Anything you say can and will be held against you... ."

Haha totally!

Its like you have to put on a show, and be squeaky clean, and just walk around like a doll whilst they show you off.
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Deeno02
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« Reply #37 on: November 02, 2014, 06:38:15 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.

I remember down in Chicago and we met some folks for drinks and she got tipsy, and started talking at the top of her lungs. I made a joke "can you say it a little louder? The folks over there didnt hear!". I caught hell for that in the hotel, complete histrionics, yelling... .I shut down. Barely spoke to her until later in the evening. Got yelled at for leaving her with out telling her i was going to the bathroom. Yikes... .what an idiot I was.
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bungenstein
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« Reply #38 on: November 02, 2014, 06:43:56 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.

I remember down in Chicago and we met some folks for drinks and she got tipsy, and started talking at the top of her lungs. I made a joke "can you say it a little louder? The folks over there didnt hear!". I caught hell for that in the hotel, complete histrionics, yelling... .I shut down. Barely spoke to her until later in the evening. Got yelled at for leaving her with out telling her i was going to the bathroom. Yikes... .what an idiot I was.

I had all that kind of behaviour too, raging at me in public for the most innocuous things, you have no choice, you have to shut your personality down, you have to become this little grain of the person you used to be just to stop the wrath of god from destroying every situation. Smile, watch meticulously, and be very careful about what you say and how you behave.

I noticed on my replacements facebook wall all of his mates are basically wondering what the hell has happened to him. One of them wrote "If you turn up around 12/1 then a good deal of people will be ___ed and will lovingly stroke and hug you, instead of the yelling and accusations that you could expect to receive on a normal day."

So he is getting the wrath now, I heard from a mutual friend that the police were called to their house because the raging was so loud and a neighbour was worried that something seriously bad was going down.
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workinprogress
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« Reply #39 on: November 02, 2014, 06:51:33 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.

I remember down in Chicago and we met some folks for drinks and she got tipsy, and started talking at the top of her lungs. I made a joke "can you say it a little louder? The folks over there didnt hear!". I caught hell for that in the hotel, complete histrionics, yelling... .I shut down. Barely spoke to her until later in the evening. Got yelled at for leaving her with out telling her i was going to the bathroom. Yikes... .what an idiot I was.

My God, I was in the same boat.  I felt like I was, still am, under a microscope when I am with her.

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.
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Deeno02
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« Reply #40 on: November 02, 2014, 06:52:57 PM »

I read all of these replies and I think yep that's me... .oh forgot about that!  I gained so much weight, stopped working out, was just a slug.  All she wanted to do was sit around the house. I didn't want to upset her or risk a rage so I just sat around the house. Everything revolved around her moods... .It was exhausting.

The biggest piece that stands out for me now is my friends tell me that my body language would change as soon as she walked into the room. I went from someone open and happy to closed up and depressed. They said they hated seeing me like that.

yes! I changed my body langue too. Especially the way I acted. My exBPDgf would sometimes snap or embarrass me in from of my family or friends. Or she would just act erratic, or something crazy. I would get really quiet and watch EVERYTHING I said if she came into the room.

I remember down in Chicago and we met some folks for drinks and she got tipsy, and started talking at the top of her lungs. I made a joke "can you say it a little louder? The folks over there didnt hear!". I caught hell for that in the hotel, complete histrionics, yelling... .I shut down. Barely spoke to her until later in the evening. Got yelled at for leaving her with out telling her i was going to the bathroom. Yikes... .what an idiot I was.

I had all that kind of behaviour too, raging at me in public for the most innocuous things, you have no choice, you have to shut your personality down, you have to become this little grain of the person you used to be just to stop the wrath of god from destroying every situation. Smile, watch meticulously, and be very careful about what you say and how you behave.

I noticed on my replacements facebook wall all of his mates are basically wondering what the hell has happened to him. One of them wrote "If you turn up around 12/1 then a good deal of people will beed and will lovingly stroke and hug you, instead of the yelling and accusations that you could expect to receive on a normal day."

So he is getting the wrath now, I heard from a mutual friend that the police were called to their house because the raging was so loud and a neighbour was worried that something seriously bad was going down.

Just got a text from her oldest son wondering if I had returned the engagement ring... .What the heck is heading my way... .(if your wondering,  as he is the oldest, I asked him for permission to take his moms hand in marriage, got dumped before I could ask her though).
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fred6
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« Reply #41 on: November 02, 2014, 06:58:36 PM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.
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Deeno02
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« Reply #42 on: November 02, 2014, 07:00:11 PM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...
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fred6
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« Reply #43 on: November 02, 2014, 07:07:21 PM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...

Yeah, me too. The thought that she was cheating on me makes me sick to my stomach. Damn, I want to cuss her out so bad right now.
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Deeno02
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« Reply #44 on: November 02, 2014, 07:17:20 PM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...

Yeah, me too. The thought that she was cheating on me makes me sick to my stomach. Damn, I want to cuss her out so bad right now.

Mine didnt cheat. Just hated doing it. Bunch of BS. Always taking care of her in everything,  got nothing in return. Got a couple of shirts, whoopee,  but i wanted her to feel me. Ask how my day was, is everything ok, rub my back or neck, hold me and tell me everythings cool. Got nothing. Nothing. Always her chaos, always there for her. Always her issues, always her problems.
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vortex of confusion
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« Reply #45 on: November 02, 2014, 07:49:57 PM »

but i wanted her to feel me. Ask how my day was, is everything ok, rub my back or neck, hold me and tell me everythings cool. Got nothing. Nothing. Always her chaos, always there for her. Always her issues, always her problems.

He asks how my day is but I know better than to say anything more than, "Fine." If I try to talk about my day, it seems inevitable that he will find a way to twist it into being about him.

The one thing that I have wanted most in the 16.5 years that we have been married is just to be held. Damn it, I am the woman. I am supposed to be able to be weak and break down from time to time. Nope, I don't think I have ever been able to show weakness. It has really messed with my mind.
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cosmonaut
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« Reply #46 on: November 03, 2014, 03:13:47 AM »

Wow Cosmo

This could have been written by me. Almost identical especially the "part of me has died" and being cynical. Luckily I didn't go into debt over her. I was aware early on that we had no future even though I wanted it so I refused to spend large amounts of money on her very often. Also, my depression came during the last year of the relationship and not after.

Pretty much everything else you have written describes my relationship.

I think that having been involved with a BPD waif, you can understand very much of what I mean.  It is something that perhaps only people like us can ever fully know.  I find that I still can't fully find the words to be able to express what I have been through and what has occurred inside of me.  There are things that I simply don't have any ability to properly translate.  It is a special kind of madness that we have suffered.  When reflecting on my relationship now it seems like some mad, fevered dream.  Perhaps you feel that too.

The abuse is so subtle with a waif and the poison delivered so gently.  There is no violence, no screaming, no warning.  It is astonishingly similar to addiction.  That is a metaphor that appears over and over and it is so true.  I was more addicted to her than anything I have ever known.  I still suffer the gnawing cravings of wanting her attention, her affection.  Even as I know it would destroy me.  Maybe even kill me.  Literally.  I gave up everything for the sake of my addiction.  I forsook all else.  I abandoned my friends, my career, my finances, even myself.  All that mattered was being with her.  Even as the relationship was choking off my life, I only wanted it even more desperately.  To desperately return to those warm, perfect beginnings.   This isn't love.  I can see that now.  And yet I can't fully explain to anyone how much it seemed like the truest of love.  How subtle the manipulation plays.  How sweet the poison tastes.

It is a long road to recover from this.  Indeed, like all addictions, it will likely be a lifelong road to recovery.  I am doing considerably better today that I was even just a few short weeks ago.  You, and all others like us, Waifed, have my deepest sympathy.  I wish you well in your healing and recovery.
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antonio1213
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« Reply #47 on: November 03, 2014, 06:01:27 AM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...

Yeah, me too. The thought that she was cheating on me makes me sick to my stomach. Damn, I want to cuss her out so bad right now.

Mine didnt cheat. Just hated doing it. Bunch of BS. Always taking care of her in everything,  got nothing in return. Got a couple of shirts, whoopee,  but i wanted her to feel me. Ask how my day was, is everything ok, rub my back or neck, hold me and tell me everythings cool. Got nothing. Nothing. Always her chaos, always there for her. Always her issues, always her problems.

So glad I am not the only one that experienced the lack of sexuality. I went above and beyond for her many times. In our whole 2.5 year relationshiph got a handful of Bj and maybe 3 Hj. She would start something than tell me to hurry and finish or say she was too tired. Excuses Excuses
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Lion Fire
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« Reply #48 on: November 03, 2014, 06:10:10 AM »

in my short r/s with my dBPDexgf I lost a lot of weight, felt depressed, anxious and confused, was always on heightened alert, my self esteem plummeted, I became isolated from friends, lost all ambition... .
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fred6
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« Reply #49 on: November 03, 2014, 06:22:22 AM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...

Yeah, me too. The thought that she was cheating on me makes me sick to my stomach. Damn, I want to cuss her out so bad right now.

Mine didnt cheat. Just hated doing it. Bunch of BS. Always taking care of her in everything,  got nothing in return. Got a couple of shirts, whoopee,  but i wanted her to feel me. Ask how my day was, is everything ok, rub my back or neck, hold me and tell me everythings cool. Got nothing. Nothing. Always her chaos, always there for her. Always her issues, always her problems.

So glad I am not the only one that experienced the lack of sexuality. I went above and beyond for her many times. In our whole 2.5 year relationshiph got a handful of Bj and maybe 3 Hj. She would start something than tell me to hurry and finish or say she was too tired. Excuses Excuses

The thing is that I tried so hard to satisfy her sexually, but she was just like a corpse laying there. I did not even get 1 BJ in 3 years. The bad part is that I can't even count how many times I went down on her in 3 years. Now the thought that she was cheating on me and I was going down on her, makes me want to vomit in her face. It's just sick how someone could do that. Probably around a year before we broke up I started having performance issues. I guess sex with a zombie will do that to you.

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antonio1213
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« Reply #50 on: November 03, 2014, 06:45:34 AM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...

Yeah, me too. The thought that she was cheating on me makes me sick to my stomach. Damn, I want to cuss her out so bad right now.

Mine didnt cheat. Just hated doing it. Bunch of BS. Always taking care of her in everything,  got nothing in return. Got a couple of shirts, whoopee,  but i wanted her to feel me. Ask how my day was, is everything ok, rub my back or neck, hold me and tell me everythings cool. Got nothing. Nothing. Always her chaos, always there for her. Always her issues, always her problems.

So glad I am not the only one that experienced the lack of sexuality. I went above and beyond for her many times. In our whole 2.5 year relationshiph got a handful of Bj and maybe 3 Hj. She would start something than tell me to hurry and finish or say she was too tired. Excuses Excuses

The thing is that I tried so hard to satisfy her sexually, but she was just like a corpse laying there. I did not even get 1 BJ in 3 years. The bad part is that I can't even count how many times I went down on her in 3 years. Now the thought that she was cheating on me and I was going down on her, makes me want to vomit in her face. It's just sick how someone could do that. Probably around a year before we broke up I started having performance issues. I guess sex with a zombie will do that to you.

Performance Issues! That was a huge problem for me. She even told me before she left that she was sexually unsatisfied I think it might have contributed to her leaving. I felt like I was having sex with a zombie, and it was all about her. It wasn't even making love it was just us humping trying to make her O. My mind wasn't in it at all towards the end, it was completely else where. I didn't even really feel that much of a connection to be honest. Whenever we would have sex sometimes she would cry and tell me how much she loved me in the beginning but than it slowly declined. It is hard to want to do sexual things for someone who doesn't give back even 25% of what you give.
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Deeno02
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« Reply #51 on: November 03, 2014, 07:24:15 AM »

Meanwhile, she can talk about "blow jobs" (although I never got any after we had kids) to everyone and other sordid talk.

I never got one in the whole 3 years, period. What a selfish a$$hole she was.

1 in the whole 16 months. Took care of her though...

Yeah, me too. The thought that she was cheating on me makes me sick to my stomach. Damn, I want to cuss her out so bad right now.

Mine didnt cheat. Just hated doing it. Bunch of BS. Always taking care of her in everything,  got nothing in return. Got a couple of shirts, whoopee,  but i wanted her to feel me. Ask how my day was, is everything ok, rub my back or neck, hold me and tell me everythings cool. Got nothing. Nothing. Always her chaos, always there for her. Always her issues, always her problems.

So glad I am not the only one that experienced the lack of sexuality. I went above and beyond for her many times. In our whole 2.5 year relationshiph got a handful of Bj and maybe 3 Hj. She would start something than tell me to hurry and finish or say she was too tired. Excuses Excuses

The thing is that I tried so hard to satisfy her sexually, but she was just like a corpse laying there. I did not even get 1 BJ in 3 years. The bad part is that I can't even count how many times I went down on her in 3 years. Now the thought that she was cheating on me and I was going down on her, makes me want to vomit in her face. It's just sick how someone could do that. Probably around a year before we broke up I started having performance issues. I guess sex with a zombie will do that to you.

Performance Issues! That was a huge problem for me. She even told me before she left that she was sexually unsatisfied I think it might have contributed to her leaving. I felt like I was having sex with a zombie, and it was all about her. It wasn't even making love it was just us humping trying to make her O. My mind wasn't in it at all towards the end, it was completely else where. I didn't even really feel that much of a connection to be honest. Whenever we would have sex sometimes she would cry and tell me how much she loved me in the beginning but than it slowly declined. It is hard to want to do sexual things for someone who doesn't give back even 25% of what you give.

Mine said as she was dumping me"you even blamed me for your sexual problems!"... .we never had any. Not sure where that came from... weird.
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parisian
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« Reply #52 on: November 03, 2014, 08:13:36 AM »

Survived sleep deprivation for about the first six months.

Then the anxiety started. The constant tense / butterfly gut. Became more and more pronounced before each time we were due to catch up. Got tensed muscles in my neck to the point where I thought maybe I was having a stroke / heart attack and realised it was just anxiety.

In the end I just had to ask myself, if this is what love is really supposed to feel like, then it must not be for me. I've had healthy relationships previously where I never had that anxiety, where I looked forward immensely to catching up. This was dread and fear and ultimately was not good for either of us.
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workinprogress
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« Reply #53 on: November 17, 2014, 02:40:53 PM »

Maybe someone can help me out here.  I have had trouble with my eyelids becoming red and swollen.  I have no itching or pain, it just looks bad.  I hate it!  I've been to 4 different doctors and they say it's allergies or sinus problems.  My eye doctor gave me an antibacterial ointment and said it was Blepharitis.

Well, nothing has helped it and it keeps getting worse.

I have been researching my situation a great deal and it appears that it could be rosacea.  Apparently stress is a trigger for rosacea.

Has anyone else dealt with this?
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Earthbayne
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« Reply #54 on: November 17, 2014, 02:50:37 PM »

So glad I am not the only one that experienced the lack of sexuality. I went above and beyond for her many times. In our whole 2.5 year relationshiph got a handful of Bj and maybe 3 Hj. She would start something than tell me to hurry and finish or say she was too tired. Excuses Excuses

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame here.

After the first few times we had sex, I'd get the "hurry up and finish". Once, she just turned around and started watching TV for a show we could have paused and told me to hurry up before SHE missed who was going to be kicked off of a specific show.

I'd never felt SO LOW in my life. I felt like trash.
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BuildingFromScratch
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 421


« Reply #55 on: November 17, 2014, 02:53:34 PM »

After the abuse got really bad I emotionally shut down, disassociated, depersonalized and was neurotic all of the time. The only feelings I've felt to any significant degree are anger, anxiety/fear and sorrow. Physically, I've had knots in my stomach and strained breathing for like 10 or so years. I've felt vacant and hopeless for so long, that it's hard to feel anything else. I struggle to emotionally take in the world and when I do, I feel very oppressed and overwhelmed. Also, the amount of self doubt I have is ridiculous, and I feel like I don't have a right to my own feelings, because she would constantly tell me how I should and shouldn't feel, and how everything I did was wrong.

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clydegriffith
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Posts: 505


« Reply #56 on: November 17, 2014, 02:59:48 PM »

I started getting more and more unhealthy during mt r/s with my xBPDbf.

- I was getting sleep deprived

- I was having a drink more often to 'calm my nerves' (I even rarely drink social, let alone to calm down)

- But most of all; i was feeling anxious all the time. I had this feeling that he could abandon the relationship any moment if i would say/do something that was not what he wanted to hear/see and that if i wasn't there the minute he needed me he would replace me. I felt like i had to be on call 24/7 at his service. The anxiety was killing me.

Any others felt like that?

I can completely relate. The BPDx wanted to be up till 1 or 2 am every night having sex. As great as that sounds, it's not ideal if you have to be up at 7am to get ready for work. I was defintley sleep deprived.

100% accurate about feeling anxious. Initially it was just the "walking on eggshells" feeling i had trying to watch what i said or did in order to avoid setting her off but as the crazy things she did progressed and the relationship deteriorated the feeling i felt was much more terror than anxious. She had me falsely arrested 4 times within the span of a few months and i lived in constant fear of getting another phone call from the police asking me turn myself in. I was also in constant fear of losing my job and everything else because of her lies.

To this day i'm a nervous wreck when i get a text from her (we have a child together so have to stay in contact). A part of me just automatically assumes she's up to no good.
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guy4caligirl
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 692


« Reply #57 on: November 17, 2014, 03:10:06 PM »

So glad I am not the only one that experienced the lack of sexuality. I went above and beyond for her many times. In our whole 2.5 year relationshiph got a handful of Bj and maybe 3 Hj. She would start something than tell me to hurry and finish or say she was too tired. Excuses Excuses

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame here.

After the first few times we had sex, I'd get the "hurry up and finish". Once, she just turned around and started watching TV for a show we could have paused and told me to hurry up before SHE missed who was going to be kicked off of a specific show.



Mine shouted NEXT after each time we had sex I didn't get then  but now I know Sad very sad .

I'd never felt SO LOW in my life. I felt like trash.

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Infern0
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« Reply #58 on: November 17, 2014, 03:16:41 PM »

The guys who had problems in the bedroom I can tell you something. .

I never been into this before but I myself was sexually activated at a young age I.e too young which left me with issues of my own. Although I've worked through them let's just say I'm a little more intense and sexual than most and I've never had any complaints.  In fact I was used as a human sex toy by my NPD ex for about a year... .

At the start I could put my BPD into like a dissociated state of pleasure but over time it waned with devaluation.

When she reidealized me and we recycled we had great sex.

It's nothing to do with you or your performance it's the disorder your fighting and cassinova himself couldn't overcome it
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Earthbayne
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« Reply #59 on: November 17, 2014, 03:20:30 PM »

It'd be great when we recycled, but that last 2-3 times and then it was back to "hurry up and get off me". One time she even said, "Alright, let's go ahead and get this over with."

But when we were getting back together, oh it was on. How someone could go from jumping me one week to absolutely treating me like I was some sort of degenerate sex addict was beyond me. Now I know why.
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