Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
January 20, 2021, 02:42:15 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: 1 2 [3]  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: is it true that like my ex most BPDs are great at sex?  (Read 5901 times)
Pingo
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 924



« Reply #60 on: December 03, 2014, 04:55:33 PM »

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

This is me high-fiving myself in the mirror... .

This gave me a good laugh, I'm high-fiving you too!
Logged
guy4caligirl
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 692


« Reply #61 on: December 03, 2014, 05:02:13 PM »

My ex  use to Shout " Next " after every long sex Session , never called it making love !

Logged
Heartandsole
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Living Apart planning to divorce
Posts: 117



« Reply #62 on: December 03, 2014, 05:09:28 PM »

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

As a point of clarification, the freedom I refer to is to be away from the devaluation and demeaning verbal abuse.  I too have been told that I am no good in the sack, go read books, get a clue etc.  Just put down so badly that I didn't care to try anymore.  It was sick.  In the beginning she lied to me about how great I was during  the ideation phase which is also so damaging and unhelpful.  

So I "starved myself" because I am a good guy and monogomous inside a marriage, not even eating Ramen Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  There was plenty of passion in the beginning.  

I can remember her telling me that sometimes girls just want to be "taken and ravaged" by a "real man"  Obviously that wasn't me.  So one time I got more dominant and physical and just tried to throw some more spice in the bedroom.   Yeah- later she accused me of raping her... .What the heck?  There was never even a "no or stop" or "simmer down" at the time.  Unbelievable... .wait no-- totally believable once you wrap your head around the BPD NPD mindset.  Just sick- that's what it is!

And thanks Pingo! 

For everyone that thinks that sex isn't going to be as passionate as it was with their BPDex... .be reminded that it takes two to tango.  Bring the party, don't go to the party!  Could it be that you confused passion with being used as a sex object for their gratification because they are Hedonistic? 

Maybe TMI but it's when I start to be concerned about "just me" is when I light the afterburner, girls can do this for longer than guys!  Something to contemplate.
Logged
Deeno02
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526



« Reply #63 on: December 03, 2014, 05:16:42 PM »

I dont know what it was. A series of quickies because there were 5 kids all over the place? Yep. Very few passionate times, but even then, all about her. Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .
Logged
fromheeltoheal
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642


« Reply #64 on: December 03, 2014, 07:18:42 PM »

Excerpt
Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

That's good Deeno, you're processing your way out of it.  What's next?
Logged
Deeno02
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526



« Reply #65 on: December 03, 2014, 08:23:51 PM »

Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

That's good Deeno, you're processing your way out of it.  What's next?

Beats me, kind of a ___ day... .
Logged
caughtnreleased
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 631


« Reply #66 on: December 03, 2014, 08:30:40 PM »

how about... .do pwBPD date people who are GREAT at sex? My experienced opinion? yes!
Logged

The crumbs of love that you offer me, they're the crumbs I've left behind. - L. Cohen
JohnLove
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 571



« Reply #67 on: December 03, 2014, 10:39:02 PM »

I dont know what it was. A series of quickies because there were 5 kids all over the place? Yep. Very few passionate times, but even then, all about her. Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

I have said exactly the same thing TO my BPDgf in times of stress and conflict where the problem couldn't be resolved amicably. The issues that the non has (to deal with) as well as the crap that a pwBPD puts on you tends to leave you feeling this way... .especially when you (or them) have left the relationship and YOU ARE LEFT HOLDING THEIR BAGGAGE.

I know where you're at Deeno02. Keep going. It only gets better.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
Logged
Trog
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 698


« Reply #68 on: December 04, 2014, 01:25:37 AM »

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

As a point of clarification, the freedom I refer to is to be away from the devaluation and demeaning verbal abuse.  I too have been told that I am no good in the sack, go read books, get a clue etc.  Just put down so badly that I didn't care to try anymore.  It was sick.  In the beginning she lied to me about how great I was during  the ideation phase which is also so damaging and unhelpful.  

So I "starved myself" because I am a good guy and monogomous inside a marriage, not even eating Ramen Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  There was plenty of passion in the beginning.  

I can remember her telling me that sometimes girls just want to be "taken and ravaged" by a "real man"  Obviously that wasn't me.  So one time I got more dominant and physical and just tried to throw some more spice in the bedroom.   Yeah- later she accused me of raping her... .What the heck?  There was never even a "no or stop" or "simmer down" at the time.  Unbelievable... .wait no-- totally believable once you wrap your head around the BPD NPD mindset.  Just sick- that's what it is!

And thanks Pingo! 

For everyone that thinks that sex isn't going to be as passionate as it was with their BPDex... .be reminded that it takes two to tango.  Bring the party, don't go to the party!  Could it be that you confused passion with being used as a sex object for their gratification because they are Hedonistic? 

Maybe TMI but it's when I start to be concerned about "just me" is when I light the afterburner, girls can do this for longer than guys!  Something to contemplate.

Wow, this mirrors my experience exactly. Also told I was the best one day to not knowing what to do in bed after the marriage, also told to read books, also told she wanted to be 'taken' and then when I did it accused of hurting and rape and as you say,there was no protest at the time, only afterwards. It's obv just more leverage to keep us bound in guilt.

There's something I don't understand though, why go to all this bloody effort, I was already committed to her, acting in this way was the catalyst for losing me, I know prior partners have also left her similarly, some running away to other countries, most just cutting all contact with her. I understand action=consequences, if I'm horrible to someone, if I make them feel badly it's not nice, you feel bad and you increase the chance of that person not wanting to be around. My ex is fairly intelligent, why can't she learn! I guess they just get more pleasure in hurting people, it's so weird!
Logged
Visitor
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 178


« Reply #69 on: December 04, 2014, 08:14:18 AM »

My one wasn’t good in bed she was just accommodating. As soon as she learned about something I like she would implement it into our sex sessions.

This would be fun as it was quite kinky and felt good. What she wasn’t very good with is foreplay and slowing things down to make things last longer. It was all about the orgasm and getting off as quickly as possible.

My non-ex was great in bed but she hadn’t had that much experience. She was good because I am good at communicating what I like and don’t like. I am also good at finding out what my girlfriend likes so I can please her.

Sex with my non always got better and never boring. Sex with my BPD was exciting at first but started to get boring. In the end I would say it was one step up from masturbating.

I’ve heard about these crazy girls being good all the time but its just because they are willing to take the lead and be adventurous. There is absolutely no reason why the sex can’t be just as good with a non-crazy.

All you need to do is communicate with your partner and be willing to try things out.

Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2021?

Pages: 1 2 [3]  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
Amethyste
Angie59
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
assumezero
At Bay
Avanzando
Baglady
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaintTheGoat
FaithHopeLove
FindingMe2011
Forgiveness
freespirit
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
hopeandchoices
I Am Redeemed
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Jonthan
Katrinalove
Kwamina
l8kgrl
LLgreen
Longterm
lorymac
lovenature
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Meridius
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
needPeace
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
once removed
Only Human
otherlife
palynne
PeacefulMom
Pedro
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
Sad4Her
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SBBayArea
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Silverhope
Skip
songbirdtwo
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
townhouse
truthbeknown
turtleengine501
Ventak
vinnie77
Violet00
wavewatcher
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zachira
zaqsert

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!