Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 11:34:48 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
204
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: "I'm begging on bended knee". What is your favourite BPD phrase? ~  (Read 700 times)
Michelle27
******
Offline Offline

Posts: 754


« Reply #30 on: September 18, 2015, 08:37:06 AM »

I heard versions of about 3/4 of the comments in this thread.  Now that I've been out for a few months (after 3 months of what we called a therapeutic separation), I see the FOG I was in and how crazy it was to excuse any one of these things.  I see now where my part in the dysfunction was as far as allowing myself to be subjected to this and so glad I headed down the path of looking at myself and seeing things as they are, not what I wanted them to be. 
Logged
Tangy
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 124



« Reply #31 on: September 18, 2015, 11:50:31 AM »

I heard versions of about 3/4 of the comments in this thread.  Now that I've been out for a few months (after 3 months of what we called a therapeutic separation), I see the FOG I was in and how crazy it was to excuse any one of these things.  I see now where my part in the dysfunction was as far as allowing myself to be subjected to this and so glad I headed down the path of looking at myself and seeing things as they are, not what I wanted them to be. 

Yes I'm two months out and I am so with you!
Logged
klacey3
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 256


« Reply #32 on: September 18, 2015, 12:08:52 PM »

Some my favourites are:

"You are writing in small font deliberately as you know I can't read it and you are trying to upset me" ... our fonts were the same size.

"I have had enough of you. Im joining a dating site" me - "ok well I will join one aswell then" him - "you disgusting slut. You are all about sex. I am on it to hurt you, you would be on it to meet people. There is a big difference"

After he cruelly confessed to cheating on.me a year after we got together he tells me "at least I am always honest. You just play the stupid sl*t card. You lying cheating sl*t. Why did you have to cheat on me?"

"But I said it to hurt you, you said it because you meant it"

"My only downfall in the relationship was not paying you back the money you owed me. Its the only thing I feel guilty for. You on the other hand no your guilt will never go away."

"I dont want to be with you. You are controlling, ask me questions and never tell me im good looking"

Next week...

i love you. Please talk to me. You are the only one i ever loved. I am suicidal without you. I want to marry you and have your children.

week later

"I never cared about you, I wish I never met you. You are the most horrible gf I have ever had. I used you to get over my ex"

"I want to see you for sex but not for company. I wouldnt see you for company if i was paid.

next day:

"I dont want to sleep with you. I want to be friends."

When I confronted him about saying the complete opposite his answer was

"That was then. I changed my mind. Stop asking me questions you are annoying me"

":)ont finish your dinner just to prove a point"

Me - "what point do you think I am trying to prove?

" i know what you're like. You are a game player.
Logged
Moselle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1899


Every day is a gift. Live it fully


« Reply #33 on: September 18, 2015, 12:36:49 PM »

I thought I would be nice and ask you if you want to buy it first before I list it, I will give you a discount"  

That's just hilarious!

The funny part is I can see my wife doing the same thing without batting an eyelid Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Once I confessed in marriage counselling that I spent all my money on my BPD/NPD wife and the children, and very rarely on myself.

My wife started raging that I did not spend enough money on myself. Telling the counsellor, "you see, he spends nothing on himself"

I knew then that we had some serious issues  Smiling (click to insert in post)

@klacey3, what a winner:

"I have had enough of you. Im joining a dating site" me - "ok well I will join one aswell then" him - "you disgusting slut. You are all about sex. I am on it to hurt you, you would be on it to meet people. There is a big difference"
Logged

klacey3
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 256


« Reply #34 on: September 18, 2015, 12:56:16 PM »

BPDGF classic 'painted black' quotes:

''All these problems are caused by YOU not listening!''

''You do NOTHING i do absolutely everything you're taking the pi$$ OUTA ME!''

''Look what you are doing to the kids, i hope you are proud of yourself!''

''You C--t, c--t C-------T!''

''You don't give a sh-- about me you only care about yourself! You're a selfish c--t!''

''You better get back here now or I'm calling the police'' (I went to the shop with her bank card to get her cigarettes but apparently took too long)

''why don't you go and f--k one of your exes seeing as you love them so much''

... .

BUT then magically I'm the best thing since sliced bread again ( 'painted white':

''you're the best thing that's ever happened to me''

''there's nothing I would change about you, you're perfect''

''you're such a good dad and you're good around the house thank you''

''i've never loved anyone like i love you''

Seriously What the heck... .Help... .

I think my ex was the male version of yours... its so confusing. I logged some events with the police and it was so confusing answering the questions when we broke up and who broke up with who... how do you explain the on/off, love/hate, reaction seeking, cheating type of relationship with someone with BPD?
Logged
klacey3
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 256


« Reply #35 on: September 18, 2015, 01:21:06 PM »

I thought I would be nice and ask you if you want to buy it first before I list it, I will give you a discount"  

That's just hilarious!

The funny part is I can see my wife doing the same thing without batting an eyelid Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Once I confessed in marriage counselling that I spent all my money on my BPD/NPD wife and the children, and very rarely on myself.

My wife started raging that I did not spend enough money on myself. Telling the counsellor, "you see, he spends nothing on himself"

I knew then that we had some serious issues  Smiling (click to insert in post)

@klacey3, what a winner:

"I have had enough of you. Im joining a dating site" me - "ok well I will join one aswell then" him - "you disgusting slut. You are all about sex. I am on it to hurt you, you would be on it to meet people. There is a big difference"

Yeah, I can think of so many quotes. It took so much of my time trying to understand what was going on I became so withdrawn as I spent all my time trying to work things out.

Your story sounds pretty crazy too. Raging at you for not spending enough on yourself? No win situation.
Logged
Moselle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1899


Every day is a gift. Live it fully


« Reply #36 on: September 18, 2015, 02:02:48 PM »

I became so withdrawn as I spent all my time trying to work things out.

Your story sounds pretty crazy too. Raging at you for not spending enough on yourself? No win situation.

Sorry you started to withdraw. I also recognise the FOG of trying to work things out. She still catches me out now and again before my boundaries can kick in, but those events are becoming fewer and fewer, and I am really starting to see the funny side of things around BPD, especially when I compare notes with some of the other people's experiences on this post.

If raging about spending was the extent of it, I would be over the moon. She's rather more on the dangerous side of things now
Logged

Tangy
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 124



« Reply #37 on: September 18, 2015, 03:07:33 PM »

Excerpt
Yeah, I can think of so many quotes. It took so much of my time trying to understand what was going on I became so withdrawn as I spent all my time trying to work things out.

Klacey, I woke up from a nap feeling kind of down and came to the thread and read through your largest post of quotes and I literally loled. By no means am I laughing at your pain, because lord knows we are all walking through it, but just the ridiculousness of some of the quotes your posted hit me right where I needed to be hit and reminded me of the crazy dance we are ultimately lucky to be out of.

It reminded me of another winner from my ex:

"Even if she admits she has feelings for me, nothing will come between us and I will tell her if we can't work like that our friendship ties will be cut"

He then proceeded to cheat with her after she admitted feelings for him like I knew she would. His excuse? "I didn't actually think she had feelings for me or I would have never said that"
Logged
klacey3
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 256


« Reply #38 on: September 18, 2015, 03:23:02 PM »

Excerpt
Yeah, I can think of so many quotes. It took so much of my time trying to understand what was going on I became so withdrawn as I spent all my time trying to work things out.

Klacey, I woke up from a nap feeling kind of down and came to the thread and read through your largest post of quotes and I literally loled. By no means am I laughing at your pain, because lord knows we are all walking through it, but just the ridiculousness of some of the quotes your posted hit me right where I needed to be hit and reminded me of the crazy dance we are ultimately lucky to be out of.

It reminded me of another winner from my ex:

"Even if she admits she has feelings for me, nothing will come between us and I will tell her if we can't work like that our friendship ties will be cut"

He then proceeded to cheat with her after she admitted feelings for him like I knew she would. His excuse? "I didn't actually think she had feelings for me or I would have never said that"

Hi tangy

I am glad my stories of my ex made you laugh. I was speechless at times. It hurt like hell at the time to deal with the illogical crazyness and nastiness but now I can see the funny side. It makes me feel better that the stories of my ex are so ridiculous that its laughable.

Your story was also crazy! Such twisted BPD logic that your ex only said he wouldnt cheat because he didnt think the girl had feelings. You are better off as you most likely know. Sorry to hear you were lied to and cheated on.
Logged
Tangy
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 124



« Reply #39 on: September 18, 2015, 04:11:44 PM »

Excerpt
Yeah, I can think of so many quotes. It took so much of my time trying to understand what was going on I became so withdrawn as I spent all my time trying to work things out.

Klacey, I woke up from a nap feeling kind of down and came to the thread and read through your largest post of quotes and I literally loled. By no means am I laughing at your pain, because lord knows we are all walking through it, but just the ridiculousness of some of the quotes your posted hit me right where I needed to be hit and reminded me of the crazy dance we are ultimately lucky to be out of.

It reminded me of another winner from my ex:

"Even if she admits she has feelings for me, nothing will come between us and I will tell her if we can't work like that our friendship ties will be cut"

He then proceeded to cheat with her after she admitted feelings for him like I knew she would. His excuse? "I didn't actually think she had feelings for me or I would have never said that"

Hi tangy

I am glad my stories of my ex made you laugh. I was speechless at times. It hurt like hell at the time to deal with the illogical crazyness and nastiness but now I can see the funny side. It makes me feel better that the stories of my ex are so ridiculous that its laughable.

Your story was also crazy! Such twisted BPD logic that your ex only said he wouldnt cheat because he didnt think the girl had feelings. You are better off as you most likely know. Sorry to hear you were lied to and cheated on.

Yeah I was a little nervous about typing that because through text tone can get lost and I didn't want it to seem like I was laughing at your situation... .it's just mostly if we stand outside and remove ourselves and become "observers rather than absorbers" it just begins to become ridiculous. But I like you very much know what it's like to be in the thick of it and you can figure out which way is up. It truly is like they say "out of the fog" neither of us ever deserved to have these things spewed our way... .but ultimately it had nothing to do with us other than that we allowed it to continue. It just sucks as I'm sure you know because when it's good it's good. It would just be nice if there could be some continuity between the emotional states of words. I cannot cannot fathom saying one thing and then when I feel different tell someone "oh that's how I felt at the time" without blinking an eye. The good news is there are other people out there for us to choose once we become healthier versions of ourselves!
Logged
13YearGoodbye
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: No Contact Since 2015-08-14.
Posts: 70



« Reply #40 on: September 19, 2015, 03:28:43 AM »



"You never listen to me!"

"Nobody ever listens to me!"

"You treat me just like my X treated me."

"You treat me just like all of my X boyfriends treated me,:

"I like my hash browns crunchy." Next day, "I like my hash browns mushy". Next day. I like my hash browns crunchy."

"I never said that."

"You said _____"

"You like your _____ to be ____".

"I won't go into the store with you if you're wearing that"

"You are embarrassing me"

"I hate having liquid on soup."

"Why are you taking all the liquid from the soup? That's my favorite part."

"YOU betrayed me"

"I don't know if I can ever forgive you"

Logged
ScotisGone74
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 432


« Reply #41 on: September 19, 2015, 05:06:34 AM »

"IF you Loved me you d do _______ or __________ or ,_______" or just eat dog crap

"Im never good Enough!"     

If they cant convince themselves there is no way anyone else can.     You
Logged
Moselle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1899


Every day is a gift. Live it fully


« Reply #42 on: September 19, 2015, 01:17:32 PM »

I was amazed how my ex could rage at me, answer the phone and speak sweetly to the person on the other side, put the phone down and start raging again.

I asked her how/why she does this. Her answer "They've never done anything to hurt me. You have, so you deserve it"
Logged

Herodias
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« Reply #43 on: September 19, 2015, 02:15:42 PM »

Mine would always say  "You Win"... .like we were in a contest! I would say there is no winning, we are supposed to be on the same side! Lots of swearing, lots of I love you's and lots of I hate you's... .Lots of "I want a divorce", then don't leave me... ."you are not going to leave me are you?"
Logged
js friend
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1020


« Reply #44 on: September 19, 2015, 03:36:12 PM »

My exh would regularly say;

"Youre making me hate you!" or

"I dont want to end up hating you".

"Your doing my head in"

I also got;

"you always think you know everything"

" You see, thats why I cant talk to you"

And

"you think your so perfect/always right dont you"

Plus all the usual threats to leave, change his phone number and to never to be seen again.




Logged
Tangy
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 124



« Reply #45 on: September 19, 2015, 09:35:55 PM »

"I think I need to know that I really lost you to realize that you are all I ever wanted."

Ommmgggg I didn't see this one. Mine said that too. That he thinks he really needs to lose me in order to value me.
Logged
hollycat
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 92


« Reply #46 on: September 21, 2015, 07:00:03 AM »

I went from Goddess Holly to despicable lying thief in less than 3 years

"my time is worth $1000 an hour"  no college ed, no unusual skills, just the ability to massively bull___

"show me"

"FIX IT"

my karma is black because I have caused him to waste time and resources on me and I will get 70 x 70 karmic retribution for disposing of him

the reason I "disposed" of him was because we had an argument and I tossed some water at him, hit his shoulder and he said I would never teach again; he was pressing charges for assault and he did call the police. Nothing happened of course, because he wasn't hurt. But now he says I "slammed water" into his eye. The fact he threatened my livlihood of course, didn't matter to him.
Logged
CharWood
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 87


« Reply #47 on: September 25, 2015, 08:38:39 AM »

Here are some great ones from the last few days... .I have been going off the rails on the crazy train since last Friday night.

- 2 weeks ago: I do not like country music. My musical taste is more classy. Last Friday Night: *Turns on country music on the radio* I never said I didn't like country music.    Me:

- Her: You make me act this. It is your fault! Me: Well you did the same thing with the anger and aggressive behavior with your ex before me! Her: No I didn't say that... .I did it once! Me: last week you told me that you did it more than once, on several occasions. Her: So! Well, it is you guys' fault that I get this way, not mine."

- I cant live with you anymore because of the way you make me act... I am always angry at you!

- You have problems, not me!

-I do have Borderline Personality Disorder. Do you think I really do? I know my mom does. I do too!

- Maybe I do need therapy, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this.

- I don't need therapy because I don't have any problems!

-Ill go to therapy if you go with me!

- Therapy is only for crazy people, you are the crazy one not me.

- I am not dating! I am just talking and getting to know people. you are the one who meets strangers online (I do not have a dating profile and I have never done this or cheated. She has a dating profile)

- They are just people to talk to... I talk to many people. I have options.

- So you are just gonna move and leave me here!

- you never cared about me

- do you still think I am attractive?

- If I did ____ and _____ would you think I was attractive again?

- why are you ignoring me!

- Gross! I don't have feelings for you anymore! We are never getting back together! 10 seconds later- my phone goes off and she grabs it in a frenzy "who is that! you deleted her text message. you liar *throws my phone* you just want to find a girl who is better than me! you have changed and I don't know you anymore. You never cared about me! (a male friend texted me, not even another woman)

-Im gonna stand right here until I see you are in bed and off your phone! I don't trust you!

- If you worked on yourself, I would recommit.

- Why cant we just go in the hot tub and relax and have some fun... .(sounds like a sexual come on)

Living with an untreated borderline is no picnic in the park... .im gonna pull my hair out until the day I move out if she doesn't go back into therapy... .

Logged
everprincess

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17


« Reply #48 on: September 25, 2015, 09:27:47 AM »

"Not that you care" but... .(everything is always followed by the BUT word including sorry for this and that)

"You need to be more understanding"

"I couldn't do _____  because it hurts me too much without you and our son" (used this on me last week)

"Things will get better and we will be the better for it"

"God will help me" (uses religion as a mask and church as a place to paint himself white)

I could write a novel about what he has said/promised the last 10 years. Looking back now it was all lies. I'm moving on though one step/one day at at time. Our son deserves a better life and I plan on giving him one.

Logged
joeramabeme
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: In process of divorcing
Posts: 995



« Reply #49 on: September 25, 2015, 05:24:11 PM »

"All couples have problems, I will never stop working on improving myself.  You are always so terminal about everything" - Left the marriage saying that she hadn't been happy the whole time and it could not be fixed.
Logged
HappyNihilist
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1012



WWW
« Reply #50 on: September 25, 2015, 09:56:14 PM »

Staff only

This thread has reached its post limit and is now locked. You are welcome to create a new thread with a similar topic.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!