From Underneath the Rubble

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Lily, I'm sorry that are having to through all of this too. I'm happy that you got something from my situation. I wish that I hadn't discovered all of these things after it was too late. But, they say that the r/s that bring us here can be a great gift. I know that mine truly was. I never would have taken the time to slow down and look at what was truly going on if it hadn't happened.

I've been married twice, and engaged two other times. My most recent x is the only woman that I've ever actually wanted to marry though. So, it kinda makes sense that I am now looking closely at what transpired. Who knows what the future holds for me though?

CB, that's exactly it; I do feel like I'm siffucating when I am alone like that. I truly feel like I am going to die. Being a male, it is hard to feel comfortable reaching out to other males at times like that. It's even hard reaching out to a female who has never experienced the feeling before. People who haven't been there just don't understand. But, how could they?

I tried to find ways to explain it to my x early on. She would tell me to grow up, or get over it. She couldn't understand the magnitude of what I was experiencing. My friend did though because she's had similar experiences. So, out of desperation, that's where I sought comfort.

So, now I have the friend, I have some comfort, but nothe the love. I'm trying to learn to love myself to the extent necessary to not need to seek comfort in others. No matter what road I follow, that is going to have to be part of it.

[Meili]

Lily, I'm sorry that are having to through all of this too. I'm happy that you got something from my situation. I wish that I hadn't discovered all of these things after it was too late. But, they say that the r/s that bring us here can be a great gift. I know that mine truly was. I never would have taken the time to slow down and look at what was truly going on if it hadn't happened.

I've been married twice, and engaged two other times. My most recent x is the only woman that I've ever actually wanted to marry though. So, it kinda makes sense that I am now looking closely at what transpired. Who knows what the future holds for me though?

CB, that's exactly it; I do feel like I'm siffucating when I am alone like that. I truly feel like I am going to die. Being a male, it is hard to feel comfortable reaching out to other males at times like that. It's even hard reaching out to a female who has never experienced the feeling before. People who haven't been there just don't understand. But, how could they?

I tried to find ways to explain it to my x early on. She would tell me to grow up, or get over it. She couldn't understand the magnitude of what I was experiencing. My friend did though because she's had similar experiences. So, out of desperation, that's where I sought comfort.

So, now I have the friend, I have some comfort, but nothe the love. I'm trying to learn to love myself to the extent necessary to not need to seek comfort in others. No matter what road I follow, that is going to have to be part of it.

[eeks]

This topic has reached its post limit.  Please feel free to start a new thread to continue the discussion.