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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: This just doesn't makes any sense - 1  (Read 7043 times)
FallenOne
Formerly Matt.S
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 321


« Reply #60 on: January 17, 2017, 11:07:48 AM »

I don't think it's an "act". In that moment, they BELIEVE what they are doing. It is very real for them.

Thus is the crux of this disorder.

They do have moments of clarity (far and few between) where they might aknowledge they were doing something to get a reaction but overall this is who they are at their core.

True story: BPD runs wild in the theater community. If you read the tabloids take a look at some of the high-profile Hollywood Divorces right now. Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Amber Heard. Very indicative and possible these women are BPD or possess multiple disorders. Look at their relationship histories and stories. Look at the volatile histories and breakup make up patterns.

The BPD often comes across as someone trying to "reinvent" themselves when in actuality it's that whole chameleon affect, the mirroring the current partner, etc. Many claim to be bi-sexual. I am not stating being bi-sexual makes someone BPD but it does give more options to connect with a new source.

More options=Supply.

Something to chew on.

 




Keep in mind, those tabloids themselves are BPD... .How much truth do you think is in them? Geez, MOST Hollywood actors have multiple marriages and divorces that are splattered all over TV and newspapers... There's no way all of these people have BPD. I don't think the diagnosis should just be handed out like free candy.
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FallenOne
Formerly Matt.S
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 321


« Reply #61 on: January 17, 2017, 11:12:10 AM »

I agree with Curiously1. Become very uninteresting. Once you become uninteresting and stop responding, they will move on. If you don't give them attention ( doesn't matter if its positive or negative ) - often they will search for it somewhere else. Don't tell them your dead... .just play dead.

 It's time to work on you. Don't poke the person with issues. Blocking is not hard. I had to block my personal email, my work email, my phone, my facebook, other messenger apps.

 It takes just a couple of mins for each block. Oh look... .she emailed from another email address... .click block... .done... .

You will get to a point where you can let go. It took me a year to do so, and man... .I'm so thankful I made it - and you will get there too.


What if they run out of "sources" and they end up committing suicide?
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Confused108
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #62 on: January 17, 2017, 11:59:17 AM »

I was also friends with my ex's brother during our teenage years (my ex is 8 years younger than me) and she and her older sister also claim that he molested both of them (which contributed to their mental health issues)... I have also wondered if mine lied about this? Why would she make it up? Her stories about it lacked consistency when the topic came up over time again, and it never quite added up...

The brother/father have denied it for years and claim she's imagining it and it never happened. I don't know if I'll ever know the real truth to this.

What's your opinion? Why would she lie about something like this and lose the respect of her family over it if it never happened?

And, if it never happened and it was a main contributor to her BPD, then how did she develop BPD just from neglectful parents?
Matt my ex was my 1st girlfriend. We were friends for 2 years before becoming involved. Once my Mom found out she broke us up and told my ex I was dating someone else and threatened my ex . After that my ex flipped out and became what she is today. Now why do I beljve my ex lied about her brother? I found out that after we were broken up my ex and I snuck around and spoke in the phone . She would tell me lie after lie. I didn't find this out until she dumped me in Sept of 2015. The stories she told never made sense. To add to the facade of her brother and ex mooesting and raping her she un friended both her brother and from what I now know her on again off agin boyfriend. Well after she discarded me guess who's back in her FB pages friends list? Yep her brother and her in again off again recycle buddy re ex boyfriend. And from what I'm told thru a mutual friend she is a ** kissing her brother every chance she gets on FB. Totally different from the sh*t she handed me. Also after she told me all this lying sh*t she was begging me and I mean begging me to tell her I was still in love with her! Now this was when she was still trying to sucker me back into a relationship with her. The damsal in distress who needed to be saved. It was set up so I would save her and get back with her. That's why these awful lies were concocted. Sick and very sad!
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stimpy
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« Reply #63 on: January 17, 2017, 12:01:45 PM »

Quote from: Confused108 on January 17, 2017, 08:21:33 AM
Her brother who I knew in our teen years molested her when she was young with his friend and also molested her older sister as well! Then she told me that her ex boyfriend raped her too. She then on other occasions told me she wasn't in contact with any of her exs and of course that ended up being a lie.

Quote from Matt S

I was also friends with my ex's brother during our teenage years (my ex is 8 years younger than me) and she and her older sister also claim that he molested both of them (which contributed to their mental health issues)... I have also wondered if mine lied about this? Why would she make it up
?

My ex strongly hinted at this as well, said she was forced to share her brother's bed as he was disabled. She says her brother is dead now, so there's no way to tell if what she's saying is the truth or not.

Why would they make it up - to get attention/sympathy/be centre of attention/ and of course it gives them a "get out of jail free card" because they can use these experiences as a reason for their behaviours now.
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Confused108
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 563



« Reply #64 on: January 17, 2017, 12:02:54 PM »

Also when my ex would push/ pull with me she had told me she didn't know how to love! So there ya go.  They don't know how to care about anyone. Just the next victim they are gonna use and abuse.
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Turkish
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Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned in Feb 2013.
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« Reply #65 on: January 31, 2017, 09:50:53 PM »

Staff only

This thread has been locked due to reaching its post limit.  

The discussion is continued here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=305602.0;all
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