lbjnltx - I have you on my mind and in my prayers every day. An so glad things are going so well so far. Sounds like the 'clean the slate' step will be a hard one, but so needed. Good luck with this for all of you.

qcr

lbjnltx, Thinking of you throughout this time.

lbjnltx 

This is such a great report. so much progress in a steady path so far. Seems all your hard work and research is being validated. Will keep praying that it continues.

qcr

BPDd-13's individual therapist called me on Tuesday.  Said she just had a meeting w/BPDd-13's psychiatrist (pdoc).  He wants to increase her Prozac®, Abilify®.  I was left w/the impression that it was to see if it addresses her psychotic features.

I called the case manager at the residential treatment center and said "no, please wait until I have a chance to talk to the pdoc".

I spent 25 min. on the phone w/him and didn't get much info.  A lot of "i'm not sure", "i don't know yet" and "let's wait and see".  his explanation for the increase in meds was more along the lines of depression.  told him the feedback I get from individual therapist and case manager, weekend staff is that she is doing well, lots of smiles, joking around, making more friends.  doesn't sound like a depressed person.  he says she seems "flat" when he talks to her... .uh duh... .she doesn't even know him/trust him.

i suggested that we not increase meds... .Abilify® has never worked as a mood stabilizer for her... .she doesn't have a mood disorder... .explained to him that she is fine as long as she doesn't have limits put on her by anyone she is emotionally attached to... .he replies "in that case she may have Intermittent Explosive Disorder".     then he says "i would be surprised if she has real psychotic features" and "i think when this all plays out we may find she has an axis II disorder"      this guy  has a complete psych evaluation from one year ago w/ the emerging BPD dx, he has a complete history in writing from me... .I JUST WANT TO SCREAM "GET WITH THE PROGRAM BUDDY".  I am feeling like they are discarding her dx of BPD until she can "prove" it.    then he starts suggesting we take her off meds completely and will get some feedback from the staff on her behaviors and how they think she is doing... .at this point I don't have much confidence in this pdoc... .trying to withhold making a judgement at this time... .?

on thursday we had our 4th family therapist session.  we talked about family values.  each of us added to the list and said how we define each "value".  BPDd-13 did really well until we got specific.  she became upset when we talked about her xbox online.  in the past she used it as a telephone... .not playing games w/these boys... .just talking through the headset.  I told her that was not what the xbox was for... .that it is ok to play games and talk about the gaming experience but not to use it in a way in which it was not intended.  BPDd-13 was not listening to me and began saying "you just want to keep me from my friends".  when I tried to tell her it was ok to use the xbox for gaming she replied "you won't let me use it", "i know how you are".  therapist jumped in and tried to get her to talk about this in an intelligent way but BPDd-13 was not able to comply. therapist said "BPDd-13 is not ready to discuss this at this time so I think it is best to end the session.  

it will be interesting to see how BPDd-13 is on monday... .whether or not she will take our social calls... .

thanks for reading... .the saga continues

lbjnltx

dear qcarol,


  yes, she complains about it to her individual therapist at almost every session and says she "wants it to stop. why isn't anybody doing anything about it ?"


  they don't know any more than I do about these psychotic features she claims to be having.  I suggested before they resort to any anti psychotic meds that they consider a placebo... .pdoc said no to a placebo because it would violate trust... .


they cannot make med changes without my permission.  for now her meds and dosage are remaining unchanged until pdoc speaks w/other staff and gets feedback from them.  then either pdoc or nurse or case manager will contact me for the ok to make any changes.

thanks for the continued prayers... .we need them, especially BPDd-13  :'(

lbjnltx

Hi lbjnltx

Thank you so much for keeping us all up to date, and thank you for being such an excellent example for the rest of us. You are doing such a sterling job. 

I'll keep you all in my prayers as you get deeper into some of your D's issues. It can't be easy for any of you.

With love

 

Ingrid

Dear lbj,

I just wanted to let you know that I have been fallowing every single one of your post and updates about your baby girl13 in residential treatment center, since my baby girl is on her way to an residential treatment center. I want to let you know that all the information you post here it is very important to me. Thank you!.

I also wanted to share a little bit about my experience. Baby girl15 was a complete nightmare when she didn't take any medications. After her second suicide attempt in October she was put in 5mg Abilify and 5 Lexapro, which was nothing... .then was slowly increased to 20mg Abilify and 20mg Lexapro. At the beginning she was always very sleepy and tired until her system got used to it, then she was fine with it. Unfortunately, every trip she too to Dominion Psychiatric Hospital (4 times in the past 9 months) they always tried to change her medications to Zolof (did nothing for her) Lamictil (gave her a horrible rash all over her face, very dangerous syndrome) and prozac (which made her extremely aggressive and out of control). Unfortunately like you mention before, sometimes out children do things to cause the medication not to work for example mine d15. She used to throw up several times a day, she smoked weed, she drank alcoholic beverages, and sometimes even snorted her pills when I didn't make sure to put them in her tongue and watched her swallow the pills. I don't think it is very good to change the medication that often. I think it is important to give the body enough time to get used to them. I don't think it would be a very good idea to take her off the meds completely. I think your d13 will turn into a nightmare that no one is going to be able to control. Take the time to consider that. My baby girl15 is a nightmare with no meds.

Having said that. I always keep you both in my thoughts... .

Ruby807

PS: Good luck in your meeting on monday! 

Ruby 807, I so hope that at the residential treatment center there will be a long term consistent staff to monitor you DD so she is allowed to adjust to her meds. This is such an individual thing, there are so many to choose from, and each person reacts in their own way. And it is so hard to control everything else going into a teenagers mouth (or nose!) that eliminates a true reading on how meds are doing. The contolled environment of the residential treatment center should help with this process.

How are things going for your Dd there?

qcr

thank you qcarol.  as always your kind support gives me a boost!

after getting the email from her individual therapist stating
i felt like writing her back "congratulations, my BPDd-13 has an emotional attachment to you and now you have been painted black.  how does it feel?" 

but alas I did not write that back to her. 

lbjnltx

thanks gamegirl for your reply.

BPDd-13's individual therapist has not accepted that my d has BPD... .this is the first time they have seen any acting out behaviors from her... .perhaps now the individual therapist will begin to get a better understanding of my BPDd-13 and the driving force behind her past actions... .perhaps she will start to see how the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

lbjnltx

dear gamegirl,

yes, d13 has been dx w/odd, mdd, and emerging BPD.  complete psych evaluation done inpatient last year.  does she HAVE BPD ... .?  she has BPDtraits. 

BPDd-13 rarely shows her BPDtraits to anyone she has no emotional attachment to... .she doesn't rage at school, she doesn't rage at church, she only rages at me and dad. 

if you would, please go back and read my thread Life at my house, BPDd-13 going to residential treatment center.  you will get a more complete picture of the situation... .then give me more feedback after you have read... .does anything give you some clues about what is happening w/my BPDd-13... .especially the psychotic features?  your input would be greatly appreciated.


i can use all the help I can get... .residential treatment center is very expensive and is coming out of my pocket... .two cents is a welcome donation 

lbjnltx

dear gamegirl,


   BPDd-13 has not shown any signs of anxiety... .according to any therapist she has had in the past or present.  what are some signs of anxiety that would indicate anxiety.


she did tell one mhmr worker that the voices were telling her to "just do it"... .when I asked "do what"  the mhmr worker replied "what ever!" 


  at school she has hit 2 different kids in the face but the "rage" only happens w/me and my husband... .since BPD is a disorder that manifests itself mostly in interpersonal relationships I can understand why we are the only ones who get the "rage". 


  4th grade... .dx w/odd.  a really bad school year w/alot of homework that went on far too long before we pulled her out.


  good question.  it is always possible.  I have talked w/her therapist at the residential treatment center about this possibility.  she says that eventually it will come out if she was sexually abused. 

[quoteHas she ever taken a blow to the front of the head? ][/quote]
yes, twice as a toddler.  both times she was taken to the er and examined.  the pat reply... .she is fine.  she seems ok.  she never lost consciousness, has not vomiting.  her vision is ok... .would an injury from age 1.5 to 2.5 not show up until age 11?

[quote I know that you are religious, but how does she feel about it?  Could it be that she might not view spirituality the way that you do and this is causing her conflict? [/quote]
  we have not forced her to go to church or youth group.  we would ask her to go and encourage her to go but never forced her to go or punished her for not going.  she was asked to work in the nursery with the 3=4 year olds one sunday and has wanted to continue doing that for almost 8 months... .she began going during the sunday school hour as well since easter.  she really enjoys it a great deal... .it is up to her.  she sends mixed messages about her spirituality.  obviously since she is into some demonic stuff and has tried satanic worship she has some different ideas about spirituality.  we have been very careful not to cross the line into spiritual abuse.


the whole emo way of thinking and acting is unhealthy... .leads to more unhealthy behaviors.  we have been very careful to not be "controlling" while also limiting behaviors that are self destructive as much as is possible... .it's a no win situation for us!  ;p


  pdoc at residential treatment center, from having her rages described to him by me said the same thing.  ied, however through my research into ied it sounds like that is only dx if the criteria for other disorders is not met,  also highly comorbid w/personality disorders... .like BPD.


yes, therapist says she has worked w/a few clients w/BPD but not many and is doing some research to learn more.  she often asks me to send her articles that she thinks may help her.  I have made it clear to therapist that the accomplishments made w/my d are nothing short of miraculous and we are very pleased w/her progress.  they are doing a great job w/her regardless of their lack of knowledge or absence of a dx.

[quoteMaybe you need to take a step back and let them do their job.][/quote]
  to the best of my knowledge I have in no way impeded them from doing their job.  I can only answer questions as honestly as I am able to help them put the pieces of the puzzle together to help them.  we were supposed to have a written treatment plan at the 30 day mark.  it has been almost 2 months and they still don't have one because they are still not sure what they are dealing with. 


  I have high hopes for this as well.  according to the Positive Peer Culture leader she is still not opening up much or being honest w/her peers.  we will just have to wait and see.


yes, frr is a great facility... .we are pleased with what is happening so far.  I truly believe this is the place that will help my BPDd-13.  and I thank you for taking the time to read and post.  your input is valuable not just as a worker at an residential treatment center but also as a person w/personal experience w/BPD.

thanks so much!  look forward to hearing back from you again.

lbjnltx

thanks gamegirl,

i expect to hear from her therapist sometime today or tomorrow and will ask her to ask my BPDd-13 about where the voices seem to be coming from when the subject comes up again.  I just hope that it doesn't take very long for my BPDd-13 to mend her relationship w/t.

will also google the theorists you posted about and glean what I am able.

you didn't answer my ? about head trauma not manifesting until years later... .is this normal?  therapist had asked us to consider sending BPDd-13 to amen clinic for spect scan... .haven't totally ruled it out (i would probably take her to the clements clinic instead of dr. amen... .same thing w/more emphasis on aftercare) as she has said the same thing about head trauma causing auditory hallucinations. 

it is so hard to know what to do... .financial resources are all committed to keeping BPDd-13 at falcon ridge for at least 9 months.  spect scans run 3,700.   just trying to figure out what to do to best help BPDd-13.  therapist said they have taken other girls to amen clinic in the past.  does the residential treatment center you work for do this as well?  has it  made in difference in helping the client?

lbjnltx

dear ingridp,

how does the therapist expect having the information from the mri is going to be helpful to  your son?  what about his treatment or meds might change if the mri comes back showing frontal lobe damage?

in a nut shell... .what difference will this information make?

lbjnltx

Hey LB


This would be my qestion to the therapist.  Why not just send her to a neurolgist first instead of a very exonsive clinic for a very exonsive procedure?  What would the ultimate difference in treatment be?