I decided: I will crush her

[Ex-Vamp-Slayer]

I'm a big fan of NC. Revenge is not worth the time energy or anything else that will surface. I truely believe that we are part of the problem if we are in ese kinds of relationships.mit does not mean that we deserve to be treated the way they treated us, but we got something from it. Now that we have had all their negative behaviors I think looking at is as a gift  to change and have healthy relationships and making a positive out of a bad experience.

My vote is to chose personal growth, peace and happiness and let her fate be her fate without any contribution from you. I say this to myself as much as I am saying this to you.

[Mystic]

 I may or may not be the toughest chihuahua, but I am no match for a hungry pit bull with rabies and a mental illness and a history of abuse, who is trained only to fight for his very survival.

I think we were involved with the same guy... .

[pallavirajsinghani]

Revenge fantasies are great. 

Have them.

Enjoy them.

Gradually begin weaving your own betterment in them.  For instance, when you see the lottery billboard advertising $100,000,000.  Start fantasizing how nice if you won it and lived a grand life of which your SO won't be a part of.

Then start weaving a fantasy of becoming this male model with airbrushed 300 packs on his abdomen of which she can only drool over.

Fantasize about travelling the world in your own personal yacht... .imagine in detail the shape, the shiny teak floor, the name, the color... .

As you continue with this process, you will notice, she will figure less and less in your revenge fantasy and more and more it will become a pleasant fantasy about yourself, just because our minds do get tired of anger... .

Revenge fantasies are  very therapeutic.  I think that they are an integral process of healing.

I have had plenty of those myself... .and it feels great!

Of course, no actual action taken... .because we are limited in our actions (they should be legal, ethical, should not give our conscience uncomfortable twinges for the rest of our lives etc.).

The mind of course should be as free as our actions should be disciplined.

Go ahead... .enjoy a great fantasy!

:-)

[faithfull]

Kminery,

I am in a same boat. I do have pics, and replacement contact, dad's address. But every time i recall how filthy/miserable she is, and how great is the pain deep inside her, it makes me just smile and move on/overcome the anger.

They really can't experience happiness no matter how much they drink, or how intense is a makeup s**. Lack of identity, and constant fear of being abandoned make their life like hell on a earth. You don't need to take revenge, or punish them. Universe is doing it for you.

The greatest punishment for them is to stay NC. That will build up your self esteem, and will bring back your dignity. Never forget that BPD is a serious mental disease , Just stay away from it as much as possible.

[tcevans78]

Worse yet... .you will meet up, your plan will be foiled when she manipulates you until you're eating out of her hand, then screws you again.  I'm sure it won't happen THIS time though, right?  NC is for our benefit.  

I use to fantasize similar things and it felt good to get it out of my system.  It felt better when I later moved passed the anger.  Though it still feels like sht.

Sorry you have to put up with such crap.  You don't deserve it.  Never did.

[MirrorProof]

this sounds like a terrrible idea, let go... .

put all that energy into yourself and repair, you need it

[1brokenwing]

I get it! Fight fire with fire. An eye for a eye. Just one question? How do you hurl all this shiz at her without getting it on you? What about the spiritual residue?  NOT a rhetorical question! I have revenge fantasies all the time... .and just the FANTASIES leave me infected with vile!

If you can find a way to do it and not have it contaminate your soul... .frikkin do it!  I just don't think it is possible and then there's the whole karma business. 

" Kill the hope" ?  Indifference would be a less violent means to the same end.  I would NEVER give the BPD the pleasure of knowing I cared enough to be enraged. Indifference is icy cool, inattentive and feeds none of the BPDs appetites or needs. 

But like I said, I get it and let me know how I can do it without "getting my hands dirty".

[nonbpd]

"An eye for an eye makes the world blind"... .

[darkstar]

Worse yet... .you will meet up, your plan will be foiled when she manipulates you until you're eating out of her hand, then screws you again.  I'm sure it won't happen THIS time though, right?  NC is for our benefit.  

I use to fantasize similar things and it felt good to get it out of my system.  It felt better when I later moved passed the anger.  Though it still feels like sht.

Sorry you have to put up with such crap.  You don't deserve it.  Never did.

I can sign this, from my own experience its not working, this people are so emotional disturbed and you have so many own issues that they will win, whatever you do! You cant beat an natural survive instinct, its all what these mental sick persons learned in life.

[Want2know]

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