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Author Topic: What we are stuck in  (Read 3268 times)
Blimblam
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« Reply #60 on: July 26, 2014, 11:38:29 PM »

All this pain is an illusion we internaliZed by ignoring our own source energy and thinking we are this "thing" we are interacting with it's not who we are. The pain I who you are trying to experience this body holding it.
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« Reply #61 on: July 27, 2014, 12:37:23 AM »

Man, there is such healthy insight on these boards.
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« Reply #62 on: July 27, 2014, 02:06:00 AM »

Thanks seeker

So today I had a conversation with a sociopath and hung out with two of them together.  The one I talked to admitted he was detached from this thing we are stuck in and he can see "nons" stuck in it.  When I talked to him about the source energy he had no idea what I was talking about. He only knows this thing we are stuck in but he sees it objectively. 

To him it is like a playground. The other sociopath sees it like a play ground to and he was really funny and telling stories about messing with people and tormenting them.  They are more aware of this thing than we are.  If this place is a playground for sociopaths and they see us as blind to where we are then what is this place?  This place we are stuck in? 

We are afraid of accepting what this place is. 


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« Reply #63 on: July 27, 2014, 02:35:07 AM »

And by this place I'm not referring to BPD family.  I'm talking about this "reality" we are experiencing.   
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« Reply #64 on: July 27, 2014, 06:10:12 AM »

Think about this

Studies have shown that a very large percentage of upper management of corporations are run by sociopaths. 

The system we live in is run by sociopaths they create the conditions in society to perpetuate their own existance. 

We are living in a world of their creation.  This is their playground.  Where are we?

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« Reply #65 on: July 27, 2014, 08:52:38 AM »

Hi all,

I can certainly recognise Narcissistic traits but I also accept that there's a broad spectrum and that some narcism is healthy. I don't think I have NPD  

I do recognise that at times my perception and understanding of other people and their behaviour can be distorted and unhealthy.

And despite concrete evidence I found it hard to really accept that others can have a profoundly different world view to mine

I think that too much self analysis can be be unhealthy and become a trap. I definitely have a strong tendency to detach from the here and now, from my feelings and get lost in rumination and fantasy. I'm working on this with meditation

But, I can also see that some of my behaviour is self destructive and unhealthy and makes me unhappy.

I really want to change this and be as happy and healthy as I can

This is where a good T can help.

So that's my mission statement…

Learning to understand myself better, accept myself as healthily as I can while working on the parts of me that are undeveloped and immature.

Easy peasy  Smiling (click to insert in post)

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« Reply #66 on: July 27, 2014, 08:58:13 AM »

I'll keep you all posted

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« Reply #67 on: July 27, 2014, 09:40:53 AM »

I am glad you are inspecting your narcism and accepting it is a part of you.  It is a part of everyone unless you are the Buddha or something.  The conflict  between our emotions and Our narcisism and our underlying fear keeps us blind to a lot of what is going on In the moment.   What's going on that is the only reality for a sociopath. And a part of reality the borderline is in.

And while our narcisism can be a healthy coping mechanism for developing a well defined persona that is not who you are. It is merely a part of this place we are stuck in

Our narcisism helps us repress our fears but what we are looking for is hidden in our fears. 
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« Reply #68 on: July 27, 2014, 11:32:37 AM »

Hmmmm.  

I have to put in here, their are good and bad everyone's.  Good narcs, good sociopaths and good ppl with BPD

BPD.

DBT, invented by M.Leinhnman?  Says she thinks she had BPD.  Used that pain to grow and develop a solution for a problem.  Overcame, understood accepted and grew from an 'illness'.  How many people has she helped/saved we will never know.  

NPD.  

My boss, hes quiting, his NPD is taking him to greener pastures.  Someone will have to help me out for NPD example.  

ASPD

A friend who I grew up with.  :)iagnosed psycopath.   He didn't understand why with some things he didn't or wasn't phased by the violence or situations that makes others stop.  Now doing an admin job that he is out of the army, traveling home on the train a old lady got mugged by 2 ppl one with a knife.  A normal person backs off, he went and intervened.  Needless to say who here wouldn't be fearful of that situation.  For him, problem, do XYZ problem solved and we move on.  The other side there are the 2 guys mugging an old lady.  Probably some traits as well.  Point is their are good and bad, ppl that know left and right.  

All of us have issues, its how we accept those issues and work with them or solve them.  The traits that make up these disorders are human traits we all have them.   When you get wicked drunk that's harming your body.  So we have all self harmed at some stage,  we have all disosiated, all feared abandonment.  But does it dictate our life.  
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« Reply #69 on: July 27, 2014, 12:16:04 PM »

Well written Aussie,

Demonising the ill is not only wrong - it's a cul de sac.

I don't believe that I'm living in a world filled with dangerous disordered aliens.

Sure there are disordered people out there but it's about degrees.

And they're human just like us, we share many of their traits and these disorders occur across a broad spectrum

It's how we respond and interact with disordered people that matters and says a lot about who we really are

Reforming
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« Reply #70 on: July 27, 2014, 01:34:29 PM »

I don't understand it enough yet.  I have done the reading, looked at the patterns that occurred and I know what the outcome will be if I ever go back there.  To elaborate I have to understand myself a bit better and how I interacted in this dynamic. 

I am trying to understand how I accepted it I  the first place still.  Some of the e-mails in the history make me just ball my eyes out.  The absolute love what existed and was shared between us.  I, as everyone else here know that for me.  It was real.  The problem was it was perfect real.  Their was no middle ground and at the end it was a pain so total and brutal that I am still amazed by it. 

I have to accept that it was real for me.  It was all of that and then some.  I also sort of 'feel my feelings' and know what I'm experiencing at any given time.  These are real as well and I have been conditioned to shut them down and think they are wrong.  This is so painful as their is 3 years of abuse to process. 

Aussie your insight is beautiful and exactly to the tee how I feel. Your description of being very functional before the r/s and then idealized to the point of incredible perfection.   And then broken down bit by bit by bit.  My T told me as high as they put us on the pedestal is as low and hard that they will crash us to the ground.   This is my story.

I am a feel what I feel type of person too. I have never masked that or ever needed too.   I  am very authentic in my feelings and my emotions and my sincerity.  I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Always. I thought he was too. In fact, its very difficult for me to believe he was not still to this day.  All the deep sharing we gave to one another. We talked about everything. Truly everything so openly.  I cant believe those times were not real.

Yes, the emails in the history make me crumble when I read them.  I feel all that deep love being given and received between two very present partners. .  That was very, very real.  For me. And I still believe for him.  I really dont think that can be faked to that extreme. Very real and just a beautiful love between us that grew soo very deep.  It's been more than difficult to have to continually reflect on my very real feelings and try to reframe them into something that shows a defect in me. Sincerity and authenticity in loving someone doesn't feel like a defect. But now I have to question that which was real and true.

There was no middle ground to temper those real feelings for me either as you say. Nothing to make me feel anything but genuine love.  For either of us.  Which is why it is so incredibly difficult to process the whole thing even yet.  Went from deep, deep love to abandonment with no closure.  No " event" happened to change the love.  He just left me. And acts now like I never existed. 

Still hurts very much when I let my heart go there. Just beyond difficult in every way to process. 
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« Reply #71 on: July 27, 2014, 04:18:24 PM »

I agree that it is definately a broad very broad spectrum.  The aspd guy i talked to said he gets to doing his lying and stealing at work he is a car dealer.  And he does his heat to do what is considered "good" by the people close to him or that are important to the people close. To him.  He doesn't care about other people though.  I asked him about good and bad and he really didn't understand the concept. He only understand the system or reward and punishment and not the one based of any idea of morality only the of weighing the consequences of his actions.  He sees something other people are blind to how the "game" works. It is really only about survival for him and finding ways to feel good and he tries to find constructive ways that provide people what they are looking for. And he understands just how much people are in some kind of denial.  Basically their very Essence is a lie and they are trying to show us something about how this place we are in works. 

See,  good and bad black and white these are concepts that keep us stuck to not seeing what is going on.  There is only consequences in this place we live in.  He tried to get me to "explain what I meant" by good and bad or give him clues and I didn't.  He said look I'm trying to see what you want to see to give you but that's not real to him that is in me an existance I perpetuate.  There are only social structures to be navigated to him.  He said he just tries to find our what people want to see and give it to them. He realized I wasn't falling for any of his bait to lie to myself so he gave me a pretty straight up answer about everything.  He said we chose to torment ourselves by believing the lies and that people want to be lied to they don't want to see, this aspect if reality that is the one he is always present in that allows him so much influence.
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« Reply #72 on: July 27, 2014, 04:28:19 PM »

Basically what he sees us stuck in is fear. And the lie is to comfort us from seeing how things really are.

They constantly are dropping clues to test our lie and our fear keeps us stuck in it.  When we refuse to accept what they are showing us we go deeper into our fantasy. He even tried to make me feel insecure about just realizing this.  Also we talked about borderline chicks and he said once he realizes they are he doesn't keep them around because they are draining.  Even he runs from them he doesn't see it right away either.  He said they are looking for something that doesn't exist. 

That is when I understood the disconnect from the source energy.  Borderlines are trying to find it. He is stuck in this realm we are ignorant to that convinces us it is something it is not.  When I began telling his the thing the borderline is looking for does exist.  He tried to make me feel stupid but he tried a few times to give me doubt or fear and I briefly felt it but I didn't let it penetrate me and I think he even got kind of scared of me.

It is this thing he doesn't believe exists that we and the borderline are seeking. Which we obviously are looking for outside ourselves in a world it doesn't exist in.  Their world the sociopaths playground.  It is within us.  The source is bright and endless

When we are fearless the sociopath has no power over us.   Their power is that we will lie to ourselves because we are afraid.  Afraid to confront the reality which is the only one they know.
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« Reply #73 on: July 27, 2014, 04:55:01 PM »

The lie we tell ourselves is we are

Not afraid it doesn't bother me.

Maybe it

Bothers you but not me.

It is that aspect of our psyche that allows us to be manipulated and controlled
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« Reply #74 on: July 27, 2014, 05:17:32 PM »

Why does the sociopath outwit us what is is it they are aware of we are not?   What is it we are lacking awareness of?  Why do we accept their lies? What are we in denial of?

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« Reply #75 on: July 28, 2014, 09:14:04 AM »

Blim,

Just because people see things different ways does not mean a person is out-witted or delusional or anything.

Each individual is a one-of-a-kind.

And though traits can be common between people, and from shared traits come labels such as aspd or BPD, the history and personality and thoughts and emotions behind all of it is different.

Everyone is unique.

It is true that people do not want to face reality.

If they did, our world would be a different place. Unfortunately, people who are authentic, speak truth, and put themselves out there will get shot down ... .and sometimes literally shot.

Who wants to face the fact that one day, death will occur ... .instead, it is easier to believe in a lie that we are always young, never age, things are always beautiful, love is easy, and we deserve the best.

Facing reality is liberating. And our BPDs FORCE US TO DO THIS.

And once we face the reality of how we feel when being berated, pushed and pulled, thrown up and slammed down ... .we choose a life that is fulfilling and emotionally stable and secure.

Sociopaths do not have any advantage over anyone who is aware.

Neither do BPDs.

Until a person finds and grounds within their own center, then balanced or imbalanced people can be a detriment.

It isn't always negative people who can cause harm.

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« Reply #76 on: July 28, 2014, 10:20:45 AM »

Staff only

This is a worthwhile topic and it's reached the post limit. You are welcome with creating a new thread on this topic.
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