this is a safe place and we can give you support.
i think members are trying to get a better picture of the back story and the conflict within the relationship. a lot of us have realized looking back at our relationship that although we had very difficult and hurtful, even abusive partners, we also did some self defeating things and hurt our relationships. of course for me, that came later, i was far too anxious and hurt to analyze or hear that sort of thing at the time. so, i dont think anyone is trying to turn this around on you or paint you as the villain here, or that sort of thing. i think we are trying to provide some perspective, and to learn more about your situation and how we can best support you.
we certainly get that this has been a challenging relationship to say the least (i can relate to a lot of the controlling behavior you experienced from your ex), that the breakup has been extraordinarily painful, and that this recent event really ripped the wounds open.
whats important now is what to do going forward.
Thank you for your reply.
Of course. There are some things about me that didn't help, in the relationship. I was often quite anxious, at times. Anxious that I was going to be abandoned, left, broken up with. That is something I am still working on.
I have just been sitting here in tears because I have now lost this woman completely. After that message she sent me, I can't do anything else or contact her again. I do feel as if it's my fault. If I'd acted in ways she wanted or done what she wanted, this might not be how things had gone.
I often feel like this when she breaks up with me/disappears. I often blame myself. I find myself wishing I could just act how she wants me to act so that we don't fight, but I can never maintain it long enough, if I do try to.
I want to move forward, but I'm feeling a lot of fear and anxiety about it.
