SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[empowered_dad]

I've been away from these boards for a LONG time, and came back tonight after feeling a bit lost.

Tonight my score was a 42.   I've taken this test before and usually scored around 20.  Thinking about trying an antidepressant, but I'm afraid that they won't work after trying them 2 years ago. 

[morningagain]

40, which is down from 73 a couple months ago. progress

[Jagged]

44 this time. Makes sense given unrelated stressors lately, I'll try back again sometime soon.

[griz]

81 wow can't imagine it could get worse.  I even went back to see if I could change some of my answers.

[kj1234]

12/8/09:  High, but didn't record

1/8/10: 18

3/7/10: 15

4/17/10: 25 (aftermath of tax day?  court decision pending; dissatisfied with L; false evidence certified by stbxw)

9/9/10: 15

1/3/11:  16

7/15/12: 20 (divorce ended five days ago.  Now on to the restraining order and trying not to be arrested doing so).

12/10/12: 12 (Still incurring legal fees trying to enforce settlement; still getting false allegations from opposing attorney; recent success with IRS going after ex more effectively and inexpensively than court could do for me; more battles ahead, but no longer as deep in the judicial system that does nothing about abuse and criminality.  Somewhat confident about community perceptions now and battles to come)

[cartman1]

I scored 33, then took the test again and scored 32. The thing that's confusing is that I'm in Therapy and the Therapist said I don't come over as someone with depression and we discussed the Triangle of depression and I think that we all have a buffer inside ourselves and sometimes this gives up. I can score quite highly a lot of the time but for me I believe in the future and I have a strong sense of self worth, I guess this is overriding the feeling of depression I get because when my mood is down then my feelings of self worth kick in and then  the future clears before my eyes and hope returns, I guess I've placed my hope in the wrong place in the past, it should of been in me and the future.

[JimNelson89]

My score is 43.  But where does that put me?

I don't remember my score being that high last time.

[real lady]

Took the test and scored 51... .I know that I am "depressed"... .I took anti-depressants before after losing a son to stillbirth; I had been depressed two years before I would take them... .I waited far too long... .

and I have considered anti-depressants again but really believe that they might make matters worse for me in this situation if I "feel better" and have more energy... .I would probably plan on leaving and I don't have the resources available to me to do that at this time... .I am just "stuck" right now... .

in the past 15 months:

I had JUST relocated 5 months prior; resigned from job, gave up insurance and real life support

My mom passed away from cancer Sept 2011

BPD was suspected of SO and MASSIVE dyregulations from mid Nov-March

PEAK of trying to get BPD help May- June

Seeing that my "dream come true" had turned into my worst nightmare with SO

Started working on me and started counseling in August.

Year anniversary of mom's passing. She was wonderful. I miss her badly.

Continued acceptance of SEVERITY of BPD with SO... .feeling STUCK

Dad passed away (Dec.), eulogized and sang their "song" for them and family

Son has pink eye now... .and we have to miss school's Christmas Party today that I had helped set up for; was ready to bake tea breads and lemon bars for bake sale and help with other set up and assistance AT the party and we can't even go.

Christmas is around the corner, SO has had another major "financial crisis" and there is NOTHING planned for the holidays and my son is with us. I sing and haven't been involved in music this whole time as well... .it was a great outlet/focus for me... .I miss it greatly.

YEP... .I have lots of reasons and I am working on me and changing what I can; expecting LESS of myself and SO and setting boundaries (like saying no) when his demands/expectations are encroaching upon my life... .I am reading some BPD books, books on "mindfulness" and trying to take care of myself... .

[Awakecj]

49 - recently stopped antidepressants and kind of feel like I'm reliving the pain I've gone through for the past year and a half, just at a lower intensity.

[Ironmanrises]

I scored 59.

I need to heal.

[Learning_curve74]

me = 42, isn't that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?  Hey things aren't as bad as I thought, if I'm the answer to everything, then I must be pretty important! 

I'm getting my sense of humor back. 

[Matt]

8/24/08  19

6/30/09  28

8/25/09  21

9/15/09  15

12/6/09  20

2/12/10  17

4/2/10    7

9/9/10    4

1/3/11    7

12/16/11 13 (Some very bad news recently, and the impending holidays.)

9/14/13   8

[whirlpoollife]

40.

Its like a walking depression. I keep  busy, exercise, eat right most of the time. But stbxh drained all my self worth, thoughts , identity.

I was so controlled its hard to make decisions. I have extreme self doubt.

I am still going through the divorce process and even with a high score I am so much better than I was one year ago.

[DeRetour]

09/15/13 - I scored a 58 - severe range.

Not terribly surprised. I realize that I've been suppressing or downplaying my emotions for much of my life. I have hope and that keeps me moving forward. I'm doing my best to feel these emotions and observe them. It's hard for me to focus on things for any extended period of time. Lots of ruminating thoughts over my ex. When I'm more constructive, it goes to core issues. I'll try and remember to take this again at a later date.

deretour

[desperatehubby]

oh. 65

I ended the marriage, my choice but doesn't mean I wont be upset.

I've been told this is the toughest period, and boy is it, i'm feeling very low

Been screwed over in jobs and other ways so much this year, really feel like i'm losing everything and the plot.  :'(

[livednlearned]

45, down from 70.

4 Feeling sad or down in the dumps?

4 Feeling unhappy or blue?

1 Crying spells or tearfulness?

2 Feeling discouraged?

3 Feeling hopeless?

2 Low self esteem?

1 Feeling worthless or inadequate?

1 Guilt or shame?

2 Criticizing yourself or blaming yourself?

1 Difficulty making decisions?

4 Loss of interest in family or friends?

2 Loss of motivation?

1 Loss of interest in work or other activities?

1 Loss of pleasure or satisfaction in life?

4 Feeling tired?

4 Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much?

4 Decreased or increased appetite?

4 Loss of interest in sex?

4 Worry about your health?

0 Do you have any suicidal thoughts?

0 Would you like to end of life?

0 Do you have a plan for harming yourself?

From 70, to 45. Now down to 18.

1 Feeling sad or down in the dumps?

0 Feeling unhappy or blue?

0 Crying spells or tearfulness?

1 Feeling discouraged?

0 Feeling hopeless?

1 Low self esteem?

2 Feeling worthless or inadequate?

1 Guilt or shame?

2 Criticizing yourself or blaming yourself?

2 Difficulty making decisions?

1 Loss of interest in family or friends?

1 Loss of motivation?

1 Loss of interest in work or other activities?

1 Loss of pleasure or satisfaction in life?

1 Feeling tired?

1 Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much?

1 Decreased or increased appetite?

0 Loss of interest in sex?

1 Worry about your health?

0 Do you have any suicidal thoughts?

0 Would you like to end of life?

0 Do you have a plan for harming yourself?

Headed in the right direction. I do feel overwhelmed with life, though.

[froggy]

Yikes 70... .been struggling with depression since I was 8.

It's been my plan to deal with it this year... .been a long time coming.

[Boisnix79]

18 now 2 weeks after the relationship...

Was 34 about a month ago when i was with the BPDexgf...

Wow

[dontknow2]

59. No matter how much I un-surface, talk about, address or change in my life, core issues come back to haunt me. I realized recently part of me still  doesn't want to live; the work is so much more than reward  :'(.

My next steps:

1) T asked to write down why I am not "OK" so I can learn to feel OK. Although I've done this type of exercise many times before, I am here again.

2) Accept my self-love battle will remain indefinitely and figure out how to live OK with it instead of convince myself it's finished.

3) Don't forget... . if I can't win my self-love battle or keep trying, not sure how I could expect my parents or my ex too (or my kids if they struggle too). Gotta stay focused on loving myself and watch out for my 'fake outs'. It takes everything I've got. If I win, it's the best gift for me and my kids.

[clljhns]

I scored a 27. Not surprised that I am mildly depressed. I feel stuck though. Am working hard to move through this and on to better things. Kind of just going through the motions right now and looking for ways to feel the empty space. I am little concerned about what I will do this summer. Daughter in another country. No close friends where I live. NC with entire family. Ugh! No wonder why I am depressed!

Am thinking of some projects that I can do this summer to keep me active and interested--gardening, crafts, if I buy a house then I can remodel.

And of course, the healing work!

[Boisnix79]

34  3/15

22  4/13

18  4/17

26  4/19

25  4/19

15  4/24

18  4/27

[GuiltHaunted]

48. Probably my headache and empty refrigerator doesn't make it better.

[GuiltHaunted]

Today 23. 

[ziniztar]

32. I think a big part has to do with my job, I'm lacking an assignment and therefore my basic need of being 'useful' is not filled. I suspect that when that has turned around (in a week or so) the number will change. I still meet up with friends.

I just want to stay in bed all day, feel unmotivated and a little numb. I have good faith this will turn around soon.

[Lion Fire]

39-moderately depressed. To be fair, I have only been fully out of the relationship for 1 month and NC for a week. Onwards 

[Boisnix79]

15  4/24

18  4/27

10  4/29

16  5/8

9   5/13

15  5/20

[BreadHead]

WOW.  It's been over 2 years since my last post in this thread and I'm at a 6.  But 2 of them I'm almost certain are due to medications (tired all the time).  Things are going well, I'm feeling good in life and I guess that is evidenced by the fact that I haven't been here in 2 years!  I cannot express how incredibly helpful this community was for me when I was really struggling. 

[Danie14]

Scored 55

thing is that I don't feel particularly depressed and certainly not severely depressed. I'm still in it tho and I function as I do in a state of 'keep on keeping on' mostly always.

Lol I took a vacation a couple weeks ago, just one week and my whole week was eating up by other things, no relaxing for me, not him but my other family member issues. I'm the rock for the family, it's what I do because no one else will... .but anyway I was happy to come back to work. To focus. On something other than everything that's falling apart. I can't help them keep it together (my niece, my sister, my brother)... .I feel like a fraud because they think I do so well... .but I know I can keep work together. I'm skilled, knowledgably, I understand what I do like the back of my hand.

Kinda sad, right?

[Pingo]

Scored 24.  Had I done this test when I first found this forum I would have scored much higher.  Working through the pain, reading, see a T, being on this forum all helped reduce my depression to something that I think is manageable with hope at the end of the tunnel.

[Lucky One]

Scored 18 on this depression test, which is amazing!

I felt that I was much worse - so thanks to the BPD Family website - in helping me reduce my "perceived" depression.

I absolutely feel much stronger mentally, emotionally and intellectually in handling my pwBPDw, and the ups and downs associated with the issues, since I became a member 30 days ago.

I've learnt so much, and I've put the "Setting Borders" into practice, without saying a thing to uBPDw, - basically not getting sucked into the traps anymore. I don't even ask - What's the matter anymore! Just ignore the attention seeking!

This is great. Why? Because it works. Fantastic.

I'm sure you've heard the saying " Silence is Golden". I've proven it to myself. It's true. Oh, Yes.

Thanks so much