SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[SuddenlySense]

Hmm... .22 today... .back to where I was to start with, one point above in fact.  Well, I knew the season was getting to me along with worrying about finances and waiting on the house to sell.  Hope 2009 brings better... .it's got to eventually.  At least that's the year the D will be final!

[velvetfish]

4 when I am not around uBPDm

34 a week before and a week after I have to see her.

Mostly spikes in the third and fourth row of questions.

I lose the appetite, can't sleep, can't make decisions, feel helpless... .

Thankgoodness I only see her 4 times a year, I used to see her once a week.

[gradient]

39, but the only times i selected 3 or 4 were on questions 4-10; however, i only scored a 1 regarding hoplessness. despite how i feel about myself, i know things are going to get better and sometimes i even get excited thinking about future possiblilities.

[Alethaea]

66. Not surprising, I guess. It's the six month anniversary of finding out she'd been seeing someone else. Ah, well.

[gettinthere]

  Hello everyone this forum got blocked at work and I had no computer at home. So it's been almost a year since I've been here Still only have dial up, no high speed available just outside the nations capital.

  I thought about how I would have answered the questions when I first started walking down the yellow brick road. I always considered myself pretty happy and upbeat, but, would have been in the sixties then.

  Almost three years out and I'm a solid 4. Money and sleep.

  Life is good

   

[tripoley]

Wow, I only got about a ten... .I'm surprised.  I'm four months out but have had a couple of good days.  Yay me!

Best regards,

Scott

[Honey]

19, so I guess that puts me at mildly depressed.  I am having NC right now and when I think about seeing him I start crying.  I can honestly say that if I was given the choice I wouldn't want to be with him long term... .but I still get all teary eyed when I think about seeing him.  I have had to give up dancing with my dance troupe to avoid seeing him.  I still see my other dance freinds outside of dance functions.  He is not part of my group as he always saw himself as better then them.  (He trained abroad). 

[BrianaUk]

I last took this test on Halloween 2008 and was shocked by a 70+ score.

Since then ive seen a new doc at my surgery who recommended i started a new course of ADs [fluoxetine] and has made an appt for me to see a psychoanalyst. He suggested that this AD was better suited to me than my last [citalopram, stopped in Jan 08] and so far so good, yay!

Ive just taken the test again and scored 28, which is still a little too high for my liking but one heck of an improvement  

I had a nice quiet christmas with my boys and just a quick 2 hr visit with my sis and their families which was perfect, ive learnt so much in the past year about my family and feel better about myself than i have in a long time.

Heres wishing the best for everyone in 2009  2

[peacebaby]

I'm presently involved in a 7+ year relationship with my DBPDSO and I scored an 8 today. Feeling pretty good lately though i guess I still qualify as mildly depressed!

Peacebaby

[SeekingSerenity]

I got 11, all things considered I am ok with that.

[bhush]

I'm an 11 right now, too. Considering that my New Years did not go well, that's ok, I guess.

 <-- *Self-hug*

[Bananahead289]

Well, I scored a whopping 42 today. I knew I was under a lot of stress recently with a possible job change, a wedding coming up and difficulties with my younger D - plus turning 50 about a month ago. I don't know why the whole age thing is bothering me so much.  I think there's some real self-loathing that's been coming out of deep within me lately and I'm struggling a bit.  I think it's time to go back to the therapist for a tune-up.

Wow, what a difference time and therapy makes.  I scored a 7 today.  D got married and is doing well.  I'm about to make a positive job change today (thus the anxiety, my two week notice is sitting in the drawer next to me) and I started back with my therapist to work on some FOO stuff and a good bunch of the nasty, icky stuff has come out (along with the deep seated anxiety, fear and panic). I'm hoping with more time and patience to improve my score even further.

[blanchie01]

What a wake up call, thought I was coping okay considering everything that's happening right now but this tells me otherwise. I'm sitting on 52 and that tells me I have a long road ahead. Thank you to all those who have shown it is possible to lower our scores down the road.

I'm going to make an appointment for some therapy and I'll see if that helps - plus of course I'll stay on these boards and read everything I can find.

[izzo]

Time heals but knowledge has helped to speed that up.I scored a 5 but i also tried to remember awhile back and the frame of mind I was in(just reading those old posts gives me the shivers!)

I remember the first day I moved into my crappy little dirty place and away from kids=I cried and just felt terrible I felt lost betreayed and hopeless and the hurt felt like it would never subside.

Now life is good i nolonger have insomnia or anxiety,heartburn,aches and pains and the never ending sense of "the shoe dropping"I still have a ways to go as financialy she always completly ruined me.It didn't even faze me when tonight she asked why I took all the good dvds as she is getting"dolled up" for some company(who I have named both next and that poor turd)

I will be in a new house soon enough my work is flourishing and I am even closer to my kids.

[sonya]

well my score is a 42 well not really moving forward in all ascepts but out of the crap so my score is 100 just for going through the divorce the rest wil just have to come with time and healing

[wannabhappy]

I am on 12 now and m pretty happy about that, considering the 25 I had back in October 

Recovery has been slow but gradual and I m starting to feel really positive again. I m working on myself, my insecurities, practicing boundaries, knowing what I want and dont want. All in all it feels good to do so. Being abroad helped distancing myself from the ex too. The thing that is my biggest worry at the moment is my dads illness, it is sad to see him deteriorate. That's what s keeping me down a bit. But m trying to find new ways to cope with that too.

[SailMonkey]

Ok, I'll admit I've been drinking Kroger's "xtreme" version of Diet Mt Dew all day, but I just scored 14 on the test, and if anything I was biasing my answers on the high side!

Perhaps it's the fact that I've been sober 29 of the past 31 days... .   

[C2]

12

Not bad for having 2 break ups in one year, with the loss of my Labrador in between, a pay cut, and acting as the clearing house for NPD/BPD/OCD central with my family over the holidays.  I'll take that score.

I should note that on some days, I could probably score closer to 20, while others more like 6 or 7.  Probably a good reflection of the human condition.

[Major_Dad]

Scored 21. Not bad considering I am still in Oz. 

[flamingo13]

48... .The score was around what was expected and on par with what I feel overall. Only part of it is from the mirage, the rest is mostly FOO related with a minute influence from Dorothy's 'romantic' blunder.

Still moving forward, even if inch by inch, though! 


BTW: In medical school, I was scoring 0~6 on a similar questionaire. This was during the mirage. I am beginning to understand the dynamics of why, which lead me to concerted efforts in identifying & working on my own issues. Having blissful NC with xW, FOO, and D's blunder is key for me. Improvements are being made, thanks to my T, the children, and the great folks at bpdfamily.com.

[It's not good enough]

I scored 35 and stopped doing the test!

Voted in the up to 50 score - I'm not suicidal (and never have been) so things can't be that bad.

Actually feel better knowing that I am depressed.

[reneeth]

   

   Down to 13 from 27,  having a few bumps in the road but nothing major,  even the things that stress me out do so to a much less degree.  I guess the major difference is feeling more optimistic, after dealing with BPD nothing seems insurmountable, and my responses to situations seem so mild.

    Maybe its PDQ's positive attitude thing for today... .reneeth

[macman]

I came in at 27, which is better then recently and a lot better then a few years back.  Part of it is acceptance but part of it also feeling numb.

[cblack]

SCORE O

now how does that sound? If anyone remembers me and the destruction me and my son went through with that mental case abuser wife... .EVERYONE, move on... .they are NOT WORTH THE LOVE THAT WE POSESS... and educate your children about their parent's BPD... .

best

cblack

[Samuell]

SCORE O

now how does that sound? If anyone remembers me and the destruction me and my son went through with that mental case abuser wife... .EVERYONE, move on... .they are NOT WORTH THE LOVE THAT WE POSESS... and educate your children about their parent's BPD... .

best

cblack

Wow well done, pleased for you 

[HellBent]

33 or so for me.  I'm in a bit of a dip right now.  The dips are shorter and shallower than they used to be though.

On my best days I'm maybe in the single digits.  Maybe.  Still too much self-esteem things going on.  So harsh a self-judgement, etc.

HB

[gingie]

38 for me. I think this whole relationship effected every aspect of my life, from money, to familial relationships. I had some issues before that I am still addressing in T, but I really think that this relationship brought them all to a head, which might not be a bad thing.

[foiles]

gingie, how you doin' girl?

I completely agree.  I think it's called hitting rock bottom, and in AA they say "When the  lies don't work anymore" (I think the ones to yourself).  I had been in denial for so long - maybe not completely, but everything was just under the radar, flashing every now and then.  But with the BPD, BAM!  There they were in all of their glory!  I'm forever thankful. 

Foiles

[Finding_Myself_again]

Amazed about my score but I managed to get 60, but in the middle of disengaging from my friend which goes well one day and then I mess it up again when he comes all friendly to my desk.

Working together surely doesn't help.  I really try but somehow each time I fail myself.

My friend is going home for 3 weeks in March so maybe having NC during 3 weeks will give me enough courage.

The only things I scored 0 were on the suicide part.  I love life, and I know there is more to live then what I'm living now.  This board and reading about BPD has tough me so much about him but also about me.  The reason I feel the way I feel at the moment is more due to what I allowed him to do in my life then to him.  I have to give myself time and start loving myself instead of always think about somebody else first.

I will get there, just need some more time.

[upfrmhere]

i scored a 20 ... like everyone else had i still been in the relationship i would've scored much higher ... .work is always easy i probably feel best there.(weekends are more difficult)      socializing . i have been trying to branch out a bit , widen my circle. it was very difficult at first but after that first scarey step i feel much better. baby steps for me... .NC helps an aweful lot