SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[belleliseuse]

My psychiatrist had me fill this out about a year ago. I scored 74.

Took it just now and scored 0. Hallelujah!

[Manon46]

61

lot of work to do on myself :'(

[ICanDoIt]

I scored a 43. Sometimes I feel so hopeful and uplifted. Things are getting better. But sometimes I'm really struggling, especially when the ex contacts me. While typing this he texted this, "CALL ME! I NOW BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE PROGRAM AND OWE 100 DOLLARS. AND TARINA CBACK.", and ":)o u want to say goodbye to the dogs?" And he's now called my cell twice. I did not pick up. The program is the counseling program he supposedly had an appointment at this morning and needed MY truck for, but didn't tell me about it until last night. Tarina is the woman from the dog rescue he called to take our dogs since he can't deal with them and I'm only allowed one small dog in my new place. See https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=89413.0 for details on this little drama. I hope the dogs will have a good new home. I will miss them!

This is so exhausting at times.

ICDI

[timeforboundaries]

A 57 for me -- Have stuffed my feelings for so long that I am overwhelmed with them now.  They are not remaining stuffed anymore -- how dare they .

The stress in my life comes from lots of areas -- In 5 years time, I have lived in 3 houses, held 5 different jobs (all in same field -- education), put together 2 weddings for 2 of my daughters (I did it all -- sewed the dresses, made the bouquets, acted as wedding planner, etc), had 2 grandchildren, lost a family member, oh, yeah and am dealing with a uBPD daughter (age 30) and I have reached my limit of carrying her baggage around with me.  We are now NC.

I have developed some pretty severe stress-related health issues that resulted in having to take time off of work to get better.  Right now, I am hiding.  I stay home all day, don't talk to anyone, don't go out, don't want to go out, don't want to talk to anyone.   I really just wanted the world to stop and let me off for awhile.

[Samuell]

I'm at a 3 today. When I first did this test I scored 20. My how things (and people) change!

[Maggiore]

Hey! From a 65 Severe depression on the 31st October to a mere 4 today!

Thank you!

[Up From Here]

I scored a 22 today.  I didn't take the test last week and I think I would have scored higher if I did.  I'll call it progress, anyway.  I am taking steps to make new friends and initiate activities in my life which, is real good considering when I was with my exBPDw I didn't want to do much of anything and I didn't want to invite friends over to our house as I was afraid I would lose them due to what she might have said or done.

Now, I have connected with some musicians in this town and a new friend who plays bass, is coming over next weekend for our first get together.  As I sold my guitar to move out here to be in the asylum, he's letting me use his Strat. (A kind of guitar made by Fender for those who may not know) Very cool.  Other musicians are expressing interest too.  This is a big deal for me as I haven't played music just for the love of it, in a band, for years.

We're going to start a blues band.    A good one!

I ramble when I'm a bit out of sorts emotionally which, in all honesty, I am.   

Way better this week though.

Peace, Up From Here

[carolt0604]

24-WOO HOO!  And without Lexapro! 

[waybird]

Woohoo!  I scored a 40!

I know it sounds bad, but the last time I took a test for depression like this one (when my uBPDmom was living with me), the score told me to "seek help immediately."  This is a definite improvement. 

Yeah for me!   

[Mellie]

Well, it's no big surprise to me that I scored above 76... .a mouse could have figured that out by spending two minutes with me.  But, this is why I went back every time and why I am determined to push through this to get out once and for all.  My score can only go down from here!

Finding this site has been instrumental in my turning the corner.  I was always processing that which was could not be processed.  It's like chopping Jello before it hardens.  Why would anyone do that?  I did that for the entire time I was with stbxdBPDh and still do it once in a while. 

Thanks to all that is good in life,

Mellie

[Up From Here]

Hang in there Mellie.

The longer NC, the better it can be.

(unintentional rhyming)

[Mellie]

Hi, Up From Here:

I should borrow your handle based on my score!  That is how I'm feeling despite it all - can only go up (or down in the test score).   

You are right... .and, I will am doing it this time.  Thank goodness.

 and  xoxo,

Mellie

[washto]

Retook this test, now that I've been separated 3 months.

Last September I was 36.  Today I'm 14.  Clearly a big improvement.  Take note all thee who are on the fence!

I had a rough day yesterday, and am still processing it.  I suspect in a few days, even the 14 score will improve.

[DKC]

I took it from what I remember 3 years ago when I was just learning about BPD and had not yet started to see a T, and again for how I feel today, even though I am still in a marriage to a BPD, but on my way out.

Based on 3 years ago I got 69 :'(. And almost all the "negativity came from mostly my marriage, I liked teh rest of life  I was starting to have suicidal thoughts which was VERY unlike my normal self. MAde it hadt to do with beign told I was "a worthless piece of sht" daily... .sometimes in those words, and sometimes just a little more vaguely.

From where I sit today, I got a 25, not bad considering that I am still married and living in the same house for the time being. My T has had me working on disengaging, and I think it is working  

I will need to come back in a few months and see how things are. I know the single biggest hurdle that I have right now is my fear of confrontation when I leave and how to do things so it will impact my kids (teens) the least possible.

Take Care,

DKC

[bkay]

I just scored a 51, about 6 weeks no contact.  I think in January, I would have been on the extreme high side.  So while it's high, I know it will get better.  I just know it! 

[scrabble]

25 here.  I think I'm better than I would have been even a month ago.

Suspect things will continue to get better.

[Up From Here]

Well... .

The last time I took the test, I believe I scored a 22.  Today I scored a 28.


Hmmm.

I'm about four and a half months N/C and finally have the money to pay for the final stage of the divorce as well as having quite a bit of drama from her to contend with in these past months.  It's been pretty quiet over the past month and a half as I've been "replaced" now so that's cool.  As long as it's quiet.

How long is this supposed to take anyway?  Can I be done now?

... .Just kidding.

I know it takes as long as it takes.

Okay how 'bout now?



Peace, UFH

[LivingWell]

I'm down to 10.  Last August I was 18.  Since last August I started on anti-depressants.  Wonder if I should stop the anti-depressants? 

[elphaba]

last time I did this was late last summer... .score was 20

Did it again today, just out of curiosity and got a 6.

it does get better folks!

[Sable]

Almost three years out - scored a 26. 

My 19 year old son has been living with ex so I don't have much contact anymore.  When we do it's usually negative.  Him and I had a major blowout last week.  He's out of control and off the rails.  No drugs or anything like that - major anger issues, especially toward me.  Pretty depressing stuff.  It'll improve, but I think it'll be a long time before I see my son again.  Makes me very sad.

[Gravityworks]

And what about bitterness? That seems to be one of the strongest emotions that I am experiencing. However the survey is a good wake-up call. I have been reordering my life so I can afford to resume therapy. Looks like it is a good idea as I scored a 48. Do I win a prize?

I am about 3.5 months out. My little girl's birthday is a week away - I miss her.

[ellefun2]

I hadn't taken this test in a while and just wanted to see where I was compared to the last time.  I was a 10 today, considered unhappy but not depressed, was a 16 the last time which is mildly depressed.  I don't consider myself unhappy right now, not compared to how I felt before, but I guess it is all relative.     In addition to this improvement, I have noticed my moods are much more stable now.  I used to go up and down a lot more, but am thankfully having a lot less of that.  It's a slow and steady road, and very much worth it.   

[Desert]

67.  I asked for some support on L6.  So far, none.

[JoannaK]

Wow... .all of this job and money stuff has taken a toll on me... .I scored in the 30's this time... .last year 18-20.  I last took this test a month before our big flood. 

[Matt]

28 - the lowest in a long time.

[waybird]

I scored a 40 a month or so ago.  I retook the test and scored a 12.  Wow.  That's pretty darn good.  I have to echo Elphaba... .it gets better.  Absolutely.   

[michellehr]

I scored 39--usually I'm not a depressive person.  I often think of myself as an overly peppy person.  But I guess with the effects of a divorce of which I'm about 4 months into--this is what I get and it is what it is.  I'm trying to embrace the process.  The good thing I'm finding out of this grief I have a lot of artistic ideas flowing (see the happy, glass half full person is shining through).  I realize sadness and depression is part of the grieving process of the end of a marriage, but I look forward to posting 6 months to a year from now and seeing my score decrease. 

[Bair]

Hmmm... .35. I just came back to look up the term gas lighting because my w had been using the term lately.  I got distracted and started reading some posts.  I decided to take the survey.  Funny thing is, I was thinking I was feeling pretty good.  Last time I took it, I think I scored a 20. 

I think I am feeling better now than back then.  So the question is, am I more depressed or more honest?

The tough one is always the one about killing myself.  I thought about it just last week.  Not that I want to hurt myself, but I always have a plan.  Several plans actually.  Even though I think about it, my situation doesn't justify that option.  So I never go down that path.  I can't help it but I do consider it from time to time when I think things are crappy. 

I said never, but I should say not since that time 30+ years ago.  The round was defective and didn't fire.  In the instant between the pressure release on the trigger and the click of the firing pin striking the -I realized I had made a mistake.  Things weren't really that bad.  They weren't that bad then and never have been or are likely to be.  But I will consider it and work out a plan from time to tine.  The plan usualy will vary  depending on opportunities and how big or little of a mess I'd like to make.  I almost always lie about thoughts of killing myself.  But it is always an option. 

Not sure why I bring it up now.  Likely it is because of the survey and there was a movie on the TV where a person offed them self.

[Finding_Myself_again]

I scored 17 and am very happy about it.  A few monts ago when I was deeply in the fog I did a similar test and the result said I was severely depressed so I'm doing well here.

I must say I did take a big distance.  Still am around for my BPD friend if he wants to talk to me but I let him deal with his own problems and although he still tries to project everything onto me, I'm no longer allowing him.  I can clearly make the difference now on what belongs to me and what belongs to him and when he starts acting out I just leave and tell him to call me when he can treat me with more respect.  And... .it actually works.

FMA

[PCker]

I got a 9 which I think might relate to having found this board and seeing that I'm better off than many, plus we are in a pretty good place right now, long may it last!  One day at a time... .

PCker