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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Quotes From Your BPD During The End  (Read 7566 times)
TheSomberlain
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« on: March 05, 2011, 08:50:15 AM »

Reading the similar projections and quotes from our BPDs during the relationship was pretty entertaining to say the least. What are some of the things they said during the end of your relationship or when you were painted black?

Mine said some pretty hurtful projections including:

"You never loved me"

"I was just a commodity to you"

She started to ignore my texts and calls and stated that "I left her" which confused the hell out of me. Anybody else experience that it always has to be YOU that leaves them even if they are in fact the ones that left?
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« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2011, 09:20:12 AM »

I was the one to leave but the thing he repeated over and over again at the very end last night was "I was good to you, you know I was. I tried."

I am sure it was in response to me flat out saying that I didn't know why he couldn't love me right and all I wanted was honesty.  Also me saying how I just kept giving and treating him well and just wanted that in return. 

He handled it pretty well, wasn't nasty and wished me well but just kept saying "you know I treated you well, I was good to you and you know it"

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« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2011, 09:32:15 AM »

Excerpt
Mine said some pretty hurtful projections including:

"You never loved me"

"I was just a commodity to you"

She started to ignore my texts and calls and stated that "I left her" which confused the hell out of me. Anybody else experience that it always has to be YOU that leaves them even if they are in fact the ones that left?

Hmm- my ex never said those things. I felt that way regarding her behavior toward me. I still wonder all the time if she was capable of loving anyone. I also felt like I was an object filling a scripted role for her in her life.
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« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2011, 10:14:24 AM »

I think we are all characters in their madness play. Our characters develop but the script never changes.  Once our character doesn't fit their role they fire us and "hire" a new one.
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« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2011, 10:34:33 AM »

"I love you soo much; we're going to get married and I'm going to have your baby; it's the greatest bond two people in love can have with eachother" Next morning: "My instinct is telling me that you think I'm a d**khead, and you're secretly playing me [me playing her!  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)]. I think you're a professional con-artist, so don't insult my intelligence with your lies!"
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« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2011, 10:49:02 AM »

  When I confronted her or other people about being painted black- "no one is going to believe YOU"

  And my personal favorite- "I'm laughin at all your F*** yous"

Maddening statements at the time. There was nothing funny about any of it.
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« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2011, 10:56:07 AM »

"You bring out the bad in me... .sorry"

"you act like my ex" er yeah coz u cheated on him too perhaps?

"grow up"  LOL

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« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2011, 11:13:16 AM »

"I don't know how to have friends and you."

"You're so angry. You need time to heal."

"No, this all me, no one else is responsible." -when I asked if a third party was involved.

"I can't trust my feelings." She said this several times. I think she perceives her splitting at this point. Then, "I was so sure about this. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I'm so selfish." She broke down unable to explain her feelings. She made several motions towards her chest and stomach. She agrees to work on things instead of suddenly moving out, then goes through a dissociative period where she seems on auto-pilot. She responds very little and gets lost driving. Her eyes, like a few times before, seem empty.

"This is really me. Please stay in my life." 5 days later she cut off all contact.

I told her I loved her. With a voice like it was being dragged out of her, scratching her throat, she asked, "WHY?" It was almost a wail.
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« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2011, 11:21:32 AM »

"I guess I did not love you enough" (when she broke up, I had waited some weeks for her to (also) come to that decision)

"May I still have a baby with you?" (10 minutes later)

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« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2011, 11:31:47 AM »

"I feel that I am losing my best friend"

I never saw us ever being apart"

It's your fault we never talked"... .I made repeated effort to talk this through, go for counselling etc...

"You need to go for anger therapy!

"If you killed yourself the my life would be perfect"

"if you were a man you would leave the home"

"stop fighting in front of the children" ... .usually said at max volume at the peak of her rage.

"We were wonderful together"

"I want us to be friends"

"we could share the house"

"If you don't leave then you leave me no choice but to take the children with me"

"you are the best father I have ever seen, you are truly remarkable"

"please help me to relate to the children I cannot cope"

I am either all good or all bad. Classic B&W splitting.




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« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2011, 11:34:53 AM »

"I feel that I am losing my best friend"

I never saw us ever being apart"

It's your fault we never talked"... .I made repeated effort to talk this through, go for counselling etc...

"You need to go for anger therapy!

"If you killed yourself the my life would be perfect"

"if you were a man you would leave the home"

"stop fighting in front of the children" ... .said by her at max volume at the peak of her rage(not my Battle)

"We were wonderful together"

"I want us to be friends"

"we could share the house"

"If you don't leave then you leave me no choice but to take the children with me"

"you are the best father I have ever seen, you are truly remarkable"

"please help me to relate to the children I cannot cope"

I am either all good or all bad. Classic B&W splitting.


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« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2011, 11:39:15 AM »

I told her I loved her. With a voice like it was being dragged out of her, scratching her throat, she asked, "WHY?" It was almost a wail.

i had that as well. except when i told her "even though we can't have a relationship, I will always love you."

she responds coldly and sarcastically storming off with "cool" - last time she ever said a word to me Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled  Smiling (click to insert in post)

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« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2011, 11:46:59 AM »

How about" Even knowing what I know now now about YOU I would marry you all over again"... .What he knows about me? Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2011, 11:47:29 AM »

I told her I loved her. With a voice like it was being dragged out of her, scratching her throat, she asked, "WHY?" It was almost a wail.

i had that as well. except when i told her "even though we can't have a relationship, I will always love you."

she responds coldly and sarcastically storming off with "cool" - last time she ever said a word to me Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Oh, that reminds me. Mine kept saying "I will always be yours." That always left me scratching my head because she was already banging my replacement. She said that MULTIPLE times too.
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« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2011, 12:43:28 PM »

Yup,

'you never wanted this'

'you always wanted a divorce'

'it's your fault I had the affair'

'you never wanted me, so you got what you want'
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« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2011, 01:17:54 PM »

Excerpt
I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled 

That was a cool-as-ice retort, dude  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  
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« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2011, 01:35:18 PM »

Excerpt
I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled  

That was a cool-as-ice retort, dude  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  

It was easy to do because i really meant it. And i still do. I didn't know anything about BPD or any of the cheating at the time but i would still say it in a heartbeat. All I can do is give unconditional love.  If she rejects it, that's definitely not my problem. pearls before swine and all that :P

it totally infuriated her that i was always so calm.  i re-read a message the other day at the breakup where she was trying to get a rise out of me and i wrote back "i don't know why you are doing this. i see that you are trying to get me angry in hopes that i will say something upsetting back, but the fact is that i love you too much and cannot"

now that i know what was really going on, she has to be kicking herself right now. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).





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« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2011, 02:05:14 PM »

-YOU never loved me.

-YOU did this to what was us.

-I NEVER lied, not once.

-So, have you done this to EVERYONE you've ever been with? Used them and then throw them away? YOU are ridiculous (major projection after I moved her out)

-Come back to what? YOU'VE got to be KIDDING ME! I only came back all the other times because I was hoping YOU changed.

-I'm moving on like you told me to and I'm never looking back. YOU treated me like crap. It's all about CONTROL with you, isn't it? If you don't have control, you have nothing.

-It's all YOUR fault this happened to us.

-YOU had this planned from the beginning, to move me out.

-Love? YOU don't know the first thing about love. Yes, I push people away, I have in the past. But what YOU did here to us? YOU are sick! See what happens when you treat someone else like you treated me!

-Yes, I cheated on you. LOOK how you treated ME!

-YOU have serious issue and need to take a long hard look at yourself.

-I never thought I could love someone again as much as I loved you and YOU destroyed it. YOU got what you wanted.

-Need you? I don't need you for anything. Nothing. Ever. I will make my own happiness (yes, guess she did. The day I moved her out, she was in bed with some strange guy from a bar that very night at the same time screwing her rich boss at her new job)

-YOU stole from me. YOU took things that were not yours, my laptop (she lost in the move to me), my leather dress jacket (she left at a bar without me), my jewelery (pawned and used the money for booze), my skirts  you didn' want me wearing without you (she never picked up from the dry cleaners and couldn't remember where she took them).

-YOU stole MY identity!

In the very few days after I moved her out and paid for her storage 3 mon. in advance, she was saying she loved me, missed me, knew we hurt one another, no one would fill the voids, but it switched back and forth so much my head was spinning. Nothing, as in the rs, was consistent. I made offers to talk, dinner, etc. to talk things through... the more I did that, the more she pushed off. I have not seen her coming on 8 months now, but via the grapevine, she is not only still screwing her rich boss, but several others to include women. Nice. Boy, did I pick the winning ticket.
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« Reply #18 on: March 06, 2011, 09:41:37 AM »

"I'm too much of a woman for you. That's what I think!"
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« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2011, 01:44:40 PM »

"I'm too much of a woman for you. That's what I think!"

Haha I got, "Maybe you just can't handle me!". Silly BPD.
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« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2011, 01:54:36 PM »

oh oh oh, I have another one... .!

"You'll never be able to find another man like me."

(I sure as h*ll hope not!)
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« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2011, 02:20:40 PM »

my ex was "you will always want me"  ... .

want you to burn in H*ll maybe... .

want you like a root canal... .

or want to have my eyes put out... .I could go on an on... .but I digress

You can fill in your own blank, as Im pretty sure they all say this... .
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« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2011, 07:58:48 PM »

"you will never see me as a friend... ."  Just as she cut me off.

Always, never, always, never... .typical BPD words.
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« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2011, 08:58:40 PM »

"you will never see me as a friend... ."  Just as she cut me off.

Always, never, always, never... .typical BPD words.

God, that's a sobering statement. I've sort of felt that I've been completely blacked, but that statement makes me wonder just how permanent that is. I'm feeling a lot stronger than when this all started, and I'm to the point where I feel that the cost is too great, but it's made it a lot easier that I haven't had to deal with the push/pull in a while. I forget sometimes just how mercurial the situation can be.

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« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2011, 11:16:30 PM »

"No one will ever love you like I did"
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« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2011, 11:29:52 PM »

One of my personal faves... .You NEVER listen to me... .after a 4 to 8 hour rage where I have been sitting there like a fool listening to his abuse and trying to defuse him
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« Reply #26 on: March 06, 2011, 11:38:50 PM »

I had a really wierd one... .Said multiple times... .with a note of anger and sadness.

"You are just going to go back to living your life"

ummm ... .I hope so ... .The alternative being?

Anybody else get that one?
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« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2011, 11:51:37 PM »

I had a really wierd one... .Said multiple times... .with a note of anger and sadness.

"You are just going to go back to living your life"

ummm ... .I hope so ... .The alternative being?

Anybody else get that one?

Let me take a stab... .

She is playing the victim by saying that she was just a burden on you while in the relationship. Hence, now you can go back to having a BPD free life.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  

Just another "woe is me" comment. I received those too.
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« Reply #28 on: March 06, 2011, 11:55:51 PM »

I had a really wierd one... .Said multiple times... .with a note of anger and sadness.

"You are just going to go back to living your life"

ummm ... .I hope so ... .The alternative being?

Anybody else get that one?

Oh yes followed by, I cant get away from me!... .well thank God I can dude.
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« Reply #29 on: March 07, 2011, 12:01:30 AM »

Please just give me one more chance. I promise this time it will be different




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« Reply #30 on: March 07, 2011, 12:28:54 AM »

Please just give me one more chance. I promise this time it will be different


I love that one too!
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« Reply #31 on: March 07, 2011, 02:17:03 AM »

- "I'll always love you"

- "I'll never love anyone as much as I love you, even if I marry someone else"

- "Why do you even love me?"

- "You don't love me, you're just obsessed with me"

- "I never wanted to be with anyone else" (cheated/lied about 3 guys that I know about)

- "You're always mad at me.  If you could just not be mad for even a week I'd want to be together with you"

- "I never said we could never make love again" (after breaking up completely)

- "I'd still want to date you if you could handle it"

- "You know I would never have [been with someone else] if we were in a REAL relationship"  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

- "You're my best friend"

- "Even fighting with you makes me feel close to you"

- "I need you"

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« Reply #32 on: March 08, 2011, 08:45:19 PM »

I just remembered these

"Why don't you just grow a pair of balls and leave me already!"

"We created an emotional bond that can never be broken"

"Goodbye forever" (x2) Guess forever means 2 month intervals

"You were supposed to be my night in shining armor"



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« Reply #33 on: March 08, 2011, 09:28:37 PM »

"You don't understand me".
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« Reply #34 on: March 08, 2011, 09:49:10 PM »

Accused of having multiple affairs with different woman, then in the same breath being accused of being gay... .LMAO

I'm not crazy... .your the one that's borderline... .classic !

Your the best thing that's ever happened to me... .I could replace you in a heart beat

No one understands me like you... .you never listen to a word I say

Jeez, I could go on & on

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« Reply #35 on: March 08, 2011, 10:09:30 PM »

"You never loved me"

"You did nothing but use me and play with my heart"

"I will never let you go, we will always be connected"

"All you did was use me for your own needs"

"Please just stay in my life, even if we are not together"

"You are nothing but a liar and my heart is stone cold now"

"Please come over, I just want to see you"

"Things that bother most people like seeing someone in pain or death just don't really bother me"

"The same rules of the real world do not belong to me because I am not like everyone else"

"What is strange is I don't care about all those other people it has always been just you" (yeah right   )


Mind you these are just the tip of the iceburg. It all depended on the day, what suited his needs and how he was feeling at that given time. All of it was nothing but lies and a way to suck me in to the dysfunction. I just cannot believe I was stuck in this as long as I was and beat MYSELF up for HIS emotions. What a sad waste of time.
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« Reply #36 on: March 08, 2011, 10:39:58 PM »

Mine was more like minimizing that she was leaving as if I should not have any feelings or be sad.

"You should be jumping up and down I have a job!"

"We only saw each other 3 hours a week"

"YOu were always at work or school!"

"Remember you didn't like it when I would always do things with my friends"

" I don't want to fight, every time I come into town you are telling me how to feel, to be sad or to this or to that, I just want to live life to the fullest and be happy" (like being with me brought her down or caused all her employment problems)

"I dont' live well with others, I don't sleep well with others, I do best when I make my own decisions and if I have to consider others I am a dick"

"Quit crying , you're always crying"

Raging "I do love you I do miss you, but I have a job! Why do you always think  I'm yelling at you! Well then don't call me".


I tell you this stuff made me feel like I had BPD, like I was somehow out of line for being sad about her relocating... .
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« Reply #37 on: March 08, 2011, 11:21:15 PM »

"I'm never going to change" "If you can't handle it, I understand. I could never be with someone like me"
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« Reply #38 on: March 08, 2011, 11:31:55 PM »

-YOU stole MY identity!

I was told I was an "essence thief" on several occasions 

If he handed his "essence" to me on a plate I'd have said "keep it!"   
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« Reply #39 on: March 08, 2011, 11:35:02 PM »

"No one will ever love you like I did"

Hope not!   Smiling (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #40 on: March 09, 2011, 05:59:04 AM »

I got :

You are a psycho ?

You are my bestest friend in the world  

You are not a man

I will always miss you Smiling (click to insert in post)

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« Reply #41 on: March 09, 2011, 06:31:24 AM »

"We would have been alright if you just accepted that I'm hard and sarcastic instead of getting angry at me"
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« Reply #42 on: March 09, 2011, 11:19:59 AM »

" I am going to go out and find someone to love me for me"

In hindsight, please define "Me"... .oh and be afraid... .be very afraid... .Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #43 on: March 09, 2011, 11:22:16 AM »

Excerpt
" I am going to go out and find someone to love me for me"

That's one of the silliest things they say. Who else would anyone love them for, the next door neighbor, the mailman?  Who?
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« Reply #44 on: March 09, 2011, 11:22:41 AM »

"If I got pregnant things could have been different"

Yeah I agree! 100 times worse!
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« Reply #45 on: March 09, 2011, 01:58:43 PM »

In a moment of clarity--while in the hospital recovering from whiplash (she said broken neck  ) from an accident caused by her reckless driving she said: "I just need to be alone so I stop hurting people"

Those words will forever be etched in my mind. In a lucid moment she knew her compulsion to use people and the damage she leaves behind.

Wonder what will become of her... .
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« Reply #46 on: March 09, 2011, 04:14:41 PM »

Excerpt
" I am going to go out and find someone to love me for me"

That's one of the silliest things they say. Who else would anyone love them for, the next door neighbor, the mailman?  Who?

 

Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

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alchemist
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« Reply #47 on: March 17, 2011, 05:32:54 PM »

After 6 1/2 yrs... .3 break-ups-2 recycles and a month since I finally said goodbye... .she arrives on my doorstep wasted drunk on her 40th b/day and needs to stay the night because she feels safe with me. I let her in... .make her a bed (not in mine!) and tell our son that momma is sick and will be OK. Moaning and crying about not being loved... .not liked/loved... .how she suffers so much and finally passes out.

Wake up next morning and she's next to me in my bed. WTF, right?

The first time in 6 yrs... I finally get a "light bulb" moment and hear everything I suspected over 6 yrs... as she finally opens up to me.

I AM/I FEEL : Lost-empty-feel hollow-depressed-moody-fearful I will end up alone-dont know how to love-dont know how to commit... .etc etc.



Of course I opened my heart again. Then she told me that I am hot. Sexy. Her knight in shining armor. Best love she ever has had. We have a future together... .but right now I need to be 40... .free and kick up my heels... call it a sabbatical and a mid-life crisis. (BTW... .this is 1 yr to the week that she dumped me... 2 wks later seduces the married man and says the same exact --- I need a break to work on myself... Love you not in love)

But the last word was... .I still love you... .but not in love with you and need this time apart to work on myself. That's why I left you.

WTF... I left you a month ago and you just got done telling me that you still loved me.

And then 2 days later meets a new guy that has been "sweet" on her for awhile and says... .we might fool around a bit... but nothing serious. Besides... .you should go meet a new girl... it will be great for your self-esteem.  Thanks for being so sweet. See you soon and takes our son with her back home 2 hrs away.


PEOPLE- You can't be friends... .because like the last break up... she found a new guy 2 wks later... .put me in friendzone and proceeded to tell me all about the new sex... .how she didn't even like him (married & a cheater) and how that it would not even work out and then says... .I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM. He's going to leave his wife for me and I will raise our children.



RUN -> HIDE -> email and texts if there are kids -> it's all business from here on out. No sympathy... BOUNDARIES! Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

If you reciprocate a friendship... you will find yourself in bed with her... .seduced... only to hear her problems and no concern at all of yours.  Then she/he leaves and you are back to square one all over again. This just happened to me and now know. From here on out I am INSANE to take her back.

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Howzah
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« Reply #48 on: March 17, 2011, 05:38:20 PM »

I was told I needed time to heal after my dad died, soo... .that excused her cheating, lying, emotional abuse, and manipulation or something

You'd think she would have wanted to be there for me as my best friend and the person she loved more than her husband who was murdered.

There is no explaining it because it's not rational. if you try to rationalize it, it just makes you crazy too.
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« Reply #49 on: March 17, 2011, 05:52:22 PM »

"I new from the start I was either going to love you or hate you" 

classic BPD.

"I always put ppl on a pedestal so high, they have no chance"

"Our breakup was not X's fault <her ex she recycled the next day>, it was yours! you are looking for excueses

to escape responsibility"



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« Reply #50 on: March 17, 2011, 06:05:53 PM »

Here's a good one for you.

I caught someone breaking into my car last year. Gave chase... he had my laptop and I was barefoot and faster than him. Made it to the street... .tackled him and the computer went flying. Next I know... get away car... guy gets in and I have a stabwound to the chest... lacerated arm and a 5 inch deep hole under the buttocks. Of course I survived. Im here, right? It was a hunting knife and I have luck of the Irish or 8 more lives.

Well... as I am on a gurney... drove myself to hospital... told I will have PTSD and that I was 2 arteries close to dying and a lucky SOB. I muster up the strength to say... please call my wife and tell her what happened and that I am ok and off to surgery.

I was released that day and I had to beg & prove that I could walk without crutches... .I hobbled in on those crutches to pay our mortgage the next... .and I drove the 2 hrs to go visit her & my son (separated at this point).

I get there and she tells me I manifested this for all the time I have been mean to her.

The next day... .I retrieve my voice mails... .I'ts her... .on the phone... .screaming  at me for getting hurt and for overlooking the mortgage payment. Irony is... .she is next to me when I am listening and then says... .I was scared and

you didnt call me. Ahhhhh... yes you are right... .I couldnt because I was in a trauma ward but the nurse called for me.

What was it?

Totally messed up sick reaction to me "abandoning" her. It took spiritual work to get past the PTSD and

this forum to realize that this is indicative to their inability to have compassion and lack of understanding. That's what a 5 year old says. And thats how old she was when her mom died. 5 yrs old. Rest my case.

Sad part... .leaving her hurt more than being stabbed 3 times. I can't look back and neither should we, right?

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« Reply #51 on: March 17, 2011, 06:15:43 PM »

I got:-

I'm not telling you to f--- off, there is no-one else, I need time on my own... .

You don't love me

I've got voices in my head

YOU LEFT ME
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aka "Somber"


« Reply #52 on: March 17, 2011, 07:52:51 PM »

Sad part... .leaving her hurt more than being stabbed 3 times. I can't look back and neither should we, right?

That is one hell of a story, Alchemist. And as much as it hurts, no, you can't look back. Gotta walk away from the explosion like they do in the movies. I know about the mental pain. I lost my father right before Christmas when I was 13 and remember opening presents he got me on Christmas day with him gone. It was so traumatizing that I was just numb for weeks. But this BPD sht--it has thrown me for a loop. That's why I made this particular thread about the "things they say at the end" because to me, it is the most hurtful. They spend a good amount of time making you believe that they are your "soulmate" and then backhand you with "You never loved me" and then soon after, you find out you've been replaced in a heartbeat.

At least I knew my father loved me and his leaving was out of his control. It hurt but it made sense. And I could grasp that. This BPD has my brain working overdrive because I keep trying to project rationality to her behavior (it's impossible). Leaves the wounds open a lot longer than they need to be.
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
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« Reply #53 on: March 17, 2011, 09:03:18 PM »

Oh  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) Brother!
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ItsAboutTime
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« Reply #54 on: March 17, 2011, 09:30:58 PM »

doubtful's xgf said this... .

Excerpt
"I always put ppl on a pedestal so high, they have no chance"

When I read that quote from her, I stopped for a moment to think about it. Hadn't both of us put each other on a pedestal?  I mean we had very high expectations, so did they. We weren't disordered as they were, so sustaining regarding each other with such lofty expectations is nearly impossible for either of us. If we were both perfect, which is not possible, it would have been a real expectation. Accepting the fact that we aren't perfect is rational. But, they aren't rational, so when the cracks start to show, they bail out emotionally where we don't waiver from love. It's not perfect anymore so they let it go. It's not perfect and we stay because we love them.
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ItsAboutTime
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« Reply #55 on: March 17, 2011, 09:37:05 PM »

omg I just re-read that post of mine and I sound like a nutbag over-analyzing and obsessing.           sorry.  Smiling (click to insert in post)   Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #56 on: March 17, 2011, 09:39:05 PM »

Love the term nut bag, I am fond of dip weed and wack job when looking at myself Smiling (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #57 on: March 17, 2011, 09:39:25 PM »

Another gem:



As she says... .I am not in love with you... .but love you and want an open relationship. A break.



I say... yeah... think I need to sleep on that one.

Next morning... I can't go there with you... .so I guess you are dumping me, no?

Well... I have a crush on this new guy and want to check this out.

Hmmm... ok ... .can't stop you, can I?

Meanwhile I am crushed.

A week later... .on the phone to me. I have a new boyfriend... .do you think it's ok to sleep with him? Do I have your approval... .blessing.

Sure. Go for it. Why not... .he's married and you already seduced him, no? What does his wife have to say about it?

She doesn't know about us.



6 months later... recycle #2  . I ask... why did you tell me you wanted to sleep with this guy?

Well... .I wanted you to know that it was really over. See if you could still be my friend.

I guess I can't.
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« Reply #58 on: March 17, 2011, 10:26:35 PM »

Maybe I'm just mentally blocking it all out, but my exBPDgf didn't say any of the things you guys mention at the end of our relationship (i.e., this past week).

I was completely straight-forward with her as to why I need to have no contact with her, and while she was hurt by this fact, the most demeaning thing I can think of her saying during our final fights is "grow up."

Of course... .she just physically abused me at the tail-end of everything, so maybe these things didn't need to be said and any words she could have spewed at me morphed into physicality.
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« Reply #59 on: March 18, 2011, 07:06:03 AM »

"You just used me for sex, you always wanted sex" (when in fact the last month we had only had sex twice)

"You can't be friends, you will always want me" (when she found out I had gone to the movies with another woman, when we were supposed to be friends)

"Yes. EVERYTHING is your fault. I always loved you. Perhaps in the future you could truly love someone else instead of yourself"
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« Reply #60 on: March 18, 2011, 11:58:23 AM »

New today! Since we are at NC the SOB is texting and calling my grown sons. Who he never liked. My new favorite is, I love your mom but I can't live with her anymore. Like I am the bad guy? OK Mr Psycho! The jerk has 3 girlfriends. I get raged at for hours daily and he is leaving butcher knives and machetes out I guess to scare me and he cant live with me? Cry me a river! :'(
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Ipsum

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« Reply #61 on: March 18, 2011, 12:08:12 PM »

I heard the best one ever last night. After struggling with her for days to agree to signing the purchase agreement on the sale of our home so we can continue with our separation/divorce in a financially beneficial way she said, "You are just trying to control this. That is why you only put your name on the contract." No freakin' sheit! What do you think I have been asking you to do for the past 5 days!
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louiseann17
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« Reply #62 on: March 18, 2011, 12:33:30 PM »

Here are some from mine  exuBPDbf... .

'I will always love you... .even though I dont want too'

'wish things were different'

'sorry for the past' ( this one he has been using a lot but never really explains what he is sorry for... .recently anyway... .as he has never really said sorry to me in the past)

'always'

'forever'

' Stop ' assuming' things'

' Your my everything'

' Your my life'

' Your sad'

' It doesnt matter about me'

' Your the only one who gets me'

'You always think the worst of me'

' I'll do anything for you'




Louiseann

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« Reply #63 on: March 18, 2011, 01:09:41 PM »

You're the best thing that ever happened to me... .

I will never give up (get that one a lot)

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Reecer1588
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« Reply #64 on: March 25, 2015, 11:19:19 PM »

"I am not suffering. I am glad I made the decision to eliminate you from my life"
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Sunfl0wer
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« Reply #65 on: March 25, 2015, 11:33:35 PM »

"I can see that I was in an abusive relationship all this time, it fits the cycle, the pattern I read about online, and I cannot let that go on.  You will never respect me."

Umm YES... .He WAS in an abusive relationship!   He was emotionally and verbally abusive to ME!  (I'm not saying that I never reacted and was perfect... .but certainly nothing like his delusion of my behavior)

However, on several occasions he accused me of physical abuse that I did not do.  I suspect they were things that actually happened in his past by his exwife likely, but NOT ME!

Once he even dared to tell the T I was abusive to his D physically!  I quickly straightened that fabrication out and then he stated in another session that he did not say that ever.  Good thing I had a witness and clarified that!  Who knows what he said without me there!
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downwhim
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« Reply #66 on: March 25, 2015, 11:55:04 PM »

"Who's in control here?"

"It's all about YOU."

"It's better for ME if we b/u."

"I am going to start thinking about ME."

"Your just plain SELFISH."

"Oh, I bet you'd like FLOWERS!"

me-can we talk? "NO!"

"I am all in."

After breaking up with me via email I called him to say if this is what he wanted from here on out we were N?C. He said, "don't get personal on me." Oh, I guess 8 years and an engagement didn't deserve any explanation. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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ShadowIntheNight
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« Reply #67 on: March 26, 2015, 12:22:09 AM »

"Who's in control here?"

"It's all about YOU."

"It's better for ME if we b/u."

"I am going to start thinking about ME."

"Your just plain SELFISH."

"Oh, I bet you'd like FLOWERS!"

me-can we talk? "NO!"

"I am all in."

After breaking up with me via email I called him to say if this is what he wanted from here on out we were N?C. He said, "don't get personal on me." Oh, I guess 8 years and an engagement didn't deserve any explanation. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

At least yours answered. When I called (after receiving a typed b/u note that didn't actually say she was ending it) i got only her voicemail. 10 years as friends and she won't even dignify or acknowledge our relationship or me as a person. Her note said, "I am going down a different path with my children."
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JRT
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« Reply #68 on: March 26, 2015, 12:38:03 AM »

The night before she disappeared; 'Good night, I love you'. (the last thing I ever heard her say)

Text the next morning; 'How are your meetings going'?

Text in the afternoon; 'Our relationship is over... .I have moved out... .Don't EVER try to contact me'.

Before this, nothing but blue sky... .no arguments, no disagreements, no criticisms... .nothing. We never argued!
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tholian

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WWW
« Reply #69 on: March 26, 2015, 12:43:24 AM »

Mine said these to me:

"we are not being ourself, we are just trying to keep each other happy by sacrificing who we are"

"don't pamper me too much, i don't know how much of it i can take"

"we are better suited to be friends, but i cant except you being with anyone else"

"i cant be myself with you"

'i have so may things i want to tell you, but i just cant say it"

"i feel very stupid and low of my self when i am with you"

"i will always love you and wish you the best"

these are some of the things i remember. The hurtful one was "i can't be myself with you". One year together and she was saying she was never herself with me.
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Infared
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« Reply #70 on: March 26, 2015, 06:07:58 AM »

I'll pick one (there are so many  )

Mine had just run off with new supply out of our 5-yr. live-in relationship. Lying that there was another person.

I was trying to make sense in my confusion, and get to the truth of the matter so we could at least have some kind of adult understanding between us. I had the opportunity to talk to her and I confronted her with some very undeniable facts that she had deceived me... .her response was. "Well, those were lies that I told you after I left you."  It was said in a manner like "the rules are once someone runs off, all lying is completely legal and penalty-free!"  ... like ... you can only row a boat when it is in water. FACT.  What the heck? (I started to realize then what I was ACTUALLY dealing with... .a very sick person).

How sick is that? I had no response. It was better for me, just to be speechless and get out of there. No "adult discussion" was possible.

   

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« Reply #71 on: March 26, 2015, 06:53:45 AM »

My three favorites and the ones that did the most damage:

Your incapable of love

Your unlovable

Your emotionless

Yep, nice.
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EaglesJuju
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« Reply #72 on: March 26, 2015, 08:05:03 AM »

Staff only

This thread has reached its post limit, and is now closed. This is a worthwhile topic, and you are free to start a new thread to continue the conversation. Thanks for your understanding... .
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