Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 01:55:29 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I watch them - do they watch us?  (Read 524 times)
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« on: May 25, 2015, 03:16:20 AM »

From time to time I frequent BPD forum boards to try and gain an insight into the disorder from the perspective of sufferers. It really hammers home the fact that pwBPD might have bounced into another relationship, but basically they ain't happy bunnies living the life of Riley!  :'(

I was wondering if any of them do the same thing and read our message boards - or would it be far too triggering for them to do so due to the blame we apportion to them for the emotional carnage caused to us? 
Logged
once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2015, 05:36:18 AM »

you raise an interesting question fanny b. i know that pwBPD have posted on these boards. some of their words are even in bpdfamily articles. i took a look at some BPD forums once recently. ive seen the movie back from the edge that features three sufferers.

what troubles me is that i read them say how truly they felt their feelings and how desperately they wanted it to work. you never see "nons are evil" or even "nons just dont get it" or "nons are better off alone" or "the only way to heal is to cut them off and never look back". you see people who are suffering, suffering over the suffering they may have caused others, people who never asked for their disorder, and just want to be happy.

i think we have a moral duty not to stigmatize BPD, but we do it frequently. we are understanding and forgiving of our own suffering, and how our own suffering may have led us to treat them, but we either mock their suffering, write it off as somehow trying to mess with our heads, or suggest they dont really suffer at all.

i imagine if i had BPD, it would give me great insight to read some things here, about how the "non" feels toward and about their ex. but the stuff we say about BPD in general, yeah, i think that would be hugely triggering. id have no hope, and it would confirm my worst fears about myself and how society sees me. id be reading about how i cant and will never get better. so why would i try? perhaps the saddest and most dangerous part is that those are not facts. this website is called facing the facts. educating ourselves on the disorder is always encouraged, but with it should come a responsibility to face and speak the facts.

i know so many here are hurting profoundly. this is a great place to express, share, and deal with that hurt. none of that has to include stigmatizing mental illness, painting our exes black, or abandoning empathy.
Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
UserName69
AKA double_edge, Mr.Jason, Bradley101
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 276



« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2015, 05:40:32 AM »

They see themselves as the victim they think they're fine and their partner is the culprit. My exBPD knew she had BPD but she never spoke about it. When I confronted her she became distant. Thats one of the reason why we broke up. I bet she still blames me for everything.
Logged
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2015, 06:05:08 AM »

Excerpt
i think we have a moral duty not to stigmatize BPD, but we do it frequently

Once removed

I agree with your comment up to a point. PwBPD are driven by the limitations the disorder places on them, but how many broken relationships can you really participate in before wising up to the fact that you have serious issues?   I do not have a limitless well of sympathy for those who keep repeating mistakes to the detriment of others as well as themselves. Any pwBPD who is undergoing treatment I have serious respect for.

Logged
valet
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 966


« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2015, 06:07:06 AM »

Yeah, wow. Wild Question.

I just took a peak at some BPD support forums and am amazed at how similar a lot of the posts are to many things that my ex said to me over the course of our relationship.

+1 to empathy.

I don't know why, but checking out that stuff gives me a sense of hope.
Logged

Hadlee
formerly busygall
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 424


« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2015, 06:23:43 AM »

Yeah, wow. Wild Question.

I just took a peak at some BPD support forums and am amazed at how similar a lot of the posts are to many things that my ex said to me over the course of our relationship.

+1 to empathy.

I don't know why, but checking out that stuff gives me a sense of hope.

I agree valet.  My heart does go out to pwBPD after reading those forums, however I find reading the posts keep me stuck.  It's hard for me to remember how much they are hurting when I experience their hurtful behavior towards me, first hand.  In hindsight is where I realize it's their coping mechanism kicking in.  It's tough to depersonalize the behavior.   
Logged
once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2015, 07:52:49 AM »

Excerpt
i think we have a moral duty not to stigmatize BPD, but we do it frequently

Once removed

I agree with your comment up to a point. PwBPD are driven by the limitations the disorder places on them, but how many broken relationships can you really participate in before wising up to the fact that you have serious issues?   I do not have a limitless well of sympathy for those who keep repeating mistakes to the detriment of others as well as themselves. Any pwBPD who is undergoing treatment I have serious respect for.

i understand fanny. i dont have a limitless well of sympathy either. i hope no part of my post suggested i condone bad behavior or that there is no such thing as right or wrong.

"but how many broken relationships can you really participate in before wising up to the fact that you have serious issues?"

evidently, a lot. this is not unique to pwBPD, i can assure you. plenty of pwBPD are willing to wise up to the fact that they have serious issues (they may not be fortunate enough to figure out what they really are). there are more than enough stories here that are testament to that. include mine. and frankly speaking, i think it stands to reason that if youve been through a series of bad relationships, (or one for that matter) that it would distort your belief system, ie "people are bad" or "the opposite sex is bad" or "my former partners were bad". when you throw BPD into that equation, these distorted beliefs are deeply ingrained. its harder to see. id ask you though, ever seen a non on this board have difficulty seeing their issues? seen any nons on this board with a history of unhealthy relationships, blaming their exes?

understanding is not condoning. if you want to understand, seek the facts. if you want others to understand, speak the facts. not the facts unique to your personal experience. not the facts as you see them. as hadlee illustrates, "It's hard for me to remember how much they are hurting when I experience their hurtful behavior towards me, first hand." its also hard to understand how others are hurting. with all we have in common, we have unique experiences, and so do our exes or loved ones, and all pwBPD.

among the facts are that there is hope for pwBPD. yes, the facts include that they must want help for themselves. but when we go around suggesting there is no hope, we are not speaking the facts and it is counterintuitive. i think we should be mindful of that whether a non or a pwBPD is reading our words.

Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
Tansy

*
Offline Offline

Posts: 23


« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2015, 08:13:23 AM »

I never thought to look at BPD boards until I read your post.  It gives me a better understanding of my part in a long and almost entirely terrible relationship.  I was treated badly, but I chose to accept it over and over again for years.  Owning that helps with some of the bitterness.

Seeing that the only thing worse than loving someone with BPD is being someone with BPD allows me to have a shred of compassion.  It's a start.
Logged
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2015, 09:13:13 AM »

Excerpt
id ask you though, ever seen a non on this board have difficulty seeing their issues? seen any nons on this board with a history of unhealthy relationships, blaming their exes?

Once removed

I see it all the time! Smiling (click to insert in post) However, just as BPD is a spectrum illness, we nons are on what I'd call a 'recovery spectrum'. Many still have to work their way through an anger phase before being more amenable to 'facing the facts'.  As I mentioned, I have absolute respect for any pwBPD who faces their demons and either seeks help or a solitary existence. It's still hard to fathom how a person can be physically and intellectually grown up - but emotionally retarded to the extent that they refuse to face their own facts. I don't think having BPD totally abnegates a person of any responsibility for their actions. But, as you've said, there is indeed hope for them. But for any optimistic nons out there clutching at straws, this does not equate to either a quick fix or a guaranteed happy ending.

Thanks for your contribution - I really enjoy 'chewing the fat' on topics like this.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Logged
Mutt
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10395



WWW
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2015, 09:21:41 AM »

Excerpt
i think we have a moral duty not to stigmatize BPD, but we do it frequently

Once removed

I agree with your comment up to a point. PwBPD are driven by the limitations the disorder places on them, but how many broken relationships can you really participate in before wising up to the fact that you have serious issues?   I do not have a limitless well of sympathy for those who keep repeating mistakes to the detriment of others as well as themselves. Any pwBPD who is undergoing treatment I have serious respect for.

How many broken relationships does a non-disordered person have to go through to own their issues? It's far easier for me to own my issues and change. BPD is ingrained in someone's personality; how difficult is it to change our personality?

This is just a general observation and I agree that BPD is stigmatized often

How many often do we over diagnose with ASPD on the boards?
Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
ZeusRLX
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 196



« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2015, 10:10:56 AM »

Most of ones I knew had no awareness or even wouldn't even allow the small chance that there was anything wrong with them, completely in denial about it.

One was getting treatment for BPD but she was not the most analytical person, she was very impulsive and not really prone to research or analysis.

So none of the ones I knew would be reading stuff on here I think... .

In fact, I think the last one probably thinks I have a personality disorder, she told me that I would twist and pervert things every now and then... .typical BPD behavior, haha.
Logged
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2015, 10:34:34 AM »

I would guess that if any pwBPD stumbled across this site it would be ones who didn't think they had the disorder.   However I am aware that certain BPD friendly forums know of bpdfamily.com and the posters are none too complimentary. As Once removed said, a person with BPD would likely find the comments on here extremely triggering - and it would send their persecution complex into overdrive.
Logged
Achaya
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 193


« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2015, 11:59:06 AM »

I actually don't watch their boards but I read the professional literature about them to gain more understanding.

Some time ago I saw a post from a pwBPD on this site. She complained about what people were saying here about bods and also complained that people should not diagnose BPD as only a mental health professional can do that. I did not respond to this post because I did not want to reinforce typical BPD behavior that she was exhibiting by posting on this board. She violated boundaries, intruding her way into someone else's conversation, attempted to control what was said and how it was said, and all in the name of how she wanted to be portrayed.

I spent 5 years mincing my words and walking on eggshells so that my pwBPD would be less inclined to distort my words and get hurt or angry. When she did take offense, which was anytime I expressed ANY anger at all, she was vicious and dirty in her counterattack. I was "not allowed" to say or even imply anything that would suggest she was imperfect in how she treated me. I get anxious about confronting people anyway, and by the end of the relationship I couldn't even identify for myself when I was hurt and angry about her mistreatment. I am trying very hard to get back to being able to tell someone they did something to hurt or anger me, and it isn't easy.

I try to be constructive in everything I say on these boards, but even so I have had some anxiety about my ex potentially reading my posts. So I think there is a lot of room for debate on the subject of this thread. On the other hand, I resent any pressure to continue to walk on eggshells out of concern for how a pwBPD might feel. I would have said to my ex's face everything I have said here if she had ever been willing to listen.
Logged

once removed
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #13 on: May 25, 2015, 12:30:20 PM »

fanny i think we are in agreement. after rereading my remarks i wanted to clarify a little:

"if you want others to understand, speak the facts. not the facts unique to your personal experience. not the facts as you see them."

this does not exclude sharing your personal experience. it doesnt exclude giving advice. this is a forum for us, and we are not expected to be therapists, experts, keep all of our opinions to ourselves, have 100% of the facts, let alone be perfect in offering them.

"I don't think having BPD totally abnegates a person of any responsibility for their actions."

we agree. i have sympathy and compassion for pwBPD. i would never condone any of the treatment members have received, or excuse it with BPD.

i think in responding to your post, i was feeling some irritation by some of the misguided if not dangerous things ive  seen members say, both to and about other members, as well as pwBPD. its just basic wisdom to consider our words and think before we speak. that goes to the heart of your original post, i think.

Logged

     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #14 on: May 25, 2015, 12:51:10 PM »

Excerpt
I resent any pressure to continue to walk on eggshells out of concern for how a pwBPD might feel

Achaya

This is essentially a forum for 'nons', and releasing anger is a natural part of the healing process - so I'm with you all the way on this and have posted previously to that effect.

I do agree with Once removed though that we shouldn't present opinions as fact - especially when said opinions are not borne out by research. I'd hate to inadvertently send a grieving fellow member up the proverbial garden path - so to speak!

Also, I think there is a sort of 'gallows humour' to be derived from the utterly baffling BPD experience. A bit of fun here and there also helps people to get things into perspective IMO.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged
enlighten me
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289



« Reply #15 on: May 25, 2015, 01:03:09 PM »

I think those that are not aware they have BPD would never find the sight or have any interest.

Then you have the ones that are aware they have BPD but are in denial. These probably wouldnt visit the sight and if they did they probably wouldnt think it applied to them.

Then you have those that are diagnosed and are getting help. These will either be painfully triggered by what they read or if they are further along remorseful for their past behaviour. i read an article by a recovering pwBPD. He had been through dbt and no longer ticked five or more criteria in the dsm. He said the most painful thing was when he realised how much he had hurt hurt others. It left him on the verge of suicide.

The final one would be a SO that discovers their partner has posted. And depending on where they are above would depend on their reaction.
Logged

Beach_Babe
Also known as FriedaB
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 2412



« Reply #16 on: May 25, 2015, 01:07:39 PM »

I have empathy for BPDs, my mother was one and I KNOW she suffers. I do not, however, for narcs like my ex or aspd. I agree BPDs can't help themselves, but npd/aspd ENJOY watching you suffer.
Logged

Trog
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 698


« Reply #17 on: May 25, 2015, 02:40:32 PM »

Are they in an organised group aware they pick out codependents and them reading about us?

Can you imagine if they organised as a group? Maybe they are picking on tips on how to keep us more fogged up?

I'd highly doubt most have the self awareness of BPD and their affect on their ex partners. They will see us as a bunch of losers, weak willed because they look at themselves and admit fault.

You've scared me now.
Logged
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #18 on: May 25, 2015, 03:22:34 PM »

Excerpt
They will see us as a bunch of losers, weak willed because they look at themselves and admit fault.

Trog

I remember reading a posting from a pwBPD once who said how crushingly disappointed she was that she invested so much time and emotional energy in nons only to be disappointed that they failed to live up to expectations! So you're probably not that far out with your contention! 
Logged
Mutt
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10395



WWW
« Reply #19 on: May 25, 2015, 03:46:38 PM »

Excerpt
They will see us as a bunch of losers, weak willed because they look at themselves and admit fault.

Trog

I remember reading a posting from a pwBPD once who said how crushingly disappointed she was that she invested so much time and emotional energy in nons only to be disappointed that they failed to live up to expectations! So you're probably not that far out with your contention!  

Sounds like idealization and devaluation  Being cool (click to insert in post)

PERSPECTIVES: From idealization to devaluation - why we struggle
Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #20 on: May 25, 2015, 03:52:37 PM »

Excerpt
They will see us as a bunch of losers, weak willed because they look at themselves and admit fault.

Trog

I remember reading a posting from a pwBPD once who said how crushingly disappointed she was that she invested so much time and emotional energy in nons only to be disappointed that they failed to live up to expectations! So you're probably not that far out with your contention!  

Sounds like idealization and devaluation  Being cool (click to insert in post)

PERSPECTIVES: From idealization to devaluation - why we struggle

It is indeed Mutt - but from their perspective rather than ours. What's seems callous to us is frustrating to them as they have to re-ignite their search for the 'perfect' partner.   I was explaining BPD to a friend of mine who concluded it must be exhausting for the sufferer as they cannot settle for a sustained period of time.

Logged
enlighten me
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289



« Reply #21 on: May 25, 2015, 04:14:35 PM »

I read an article by a pwBPD. She said when she starts a relationship the idolisation is because the new partner could be the one. As the relationship continues and they fail to live up to the expectations then they are devalued. This wouldnt be a problem if what they wanted was set in stone but it changes from one moment to the next so no one can be everything yhey want so everyone eventually gets devalued.
Logged

Trog
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 698


« Reply #22 on: May 25, 2015, 04:17:28 PM »

Excerpt
They will see us as a bunch of losers, weak willed because they look at themselves and admit fault.

Trog

I remember reading a posting from a pwBPD once who said how crushingly disappointed she was that she invested so much time and emotional energy in nons only to be disappointed that they failed to live up to expectations! So you're probably not that far out with your contention!  

Sounds like idealization and devaluation  Being cool (click to insert in post)

PERSPECTIVES: From idealization to devaluation - why we struggle

It is indeed Mutt - but from their perspective rather than ours. What's seems callous to us is frustrating to them as they have to re-ignite their search for the 'perfect' partner.   I was explaining BPD to a friend of mine who concluded it must be exhausting for the sufferer as they cannot settle for a sustained period of time.

Ha!

This reminds me of something my BPD said when I left her.

':)o you really think I spent 7 years investing in you only to give up now, you know I don't have the energy to get to know someone else'

How very dare I!
Logged
apollotech
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 792


« Reply #23 on: May 25, 2015, 10:08:50 PM »

I think that without a doubt, although I cannot prove it, they peruse these boards. These boards represent the other side, the Nons (in military jorgan, the enemy encampment). If you are gathering intelligence, that's where you go  I, like many others here have stated, visit their boards. Like us, they go where the information exists.
Logged
Mutt
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10395



WWW
« Reply #24 on: May 25, 2015, 10:25:54 PM »

Why do we check BPD forums? Is it out of curiosity?

Is it possible a pwBPD may check a non board for the same reason?
Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Achaya
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 193


« Reply #25 on: May 25, 2015, 10:29:07 PM »

Are they in an organised group aware they pick out codependents and them reading about us?

Can you imagine if they organised as a group? Maybe they are picking on tips on how to keep us more fogged up?

I'd highly doubt most have the self awareness of BPD and their affect on their ex partners. They will see us as a bunch of losers, weak willed because they look at themselves and admit fault.

You've scared me now.

LOL! My ex is one of the most insightful pwBPDs I have heard about anywhere, but she would not spend a second researching my stuff. Either she idealizes me or she doesn't think of me at all! But there are websites where pwBPD talk trash about this site and others for Nons. I can imagine them organizing as an anti-persecution group. I visualize demonstrators carrying signs. Thank God for user names and confidentiality.  LOL!
Logged

apollotech
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 792


« Reply #26 on: May 26, 2015, 12:32:31 AM »

Why do we check BPD forums? Is it out of curiosity?

Is it possible a pwBPD may check a non board for the same reason?

Hi Mutt,

For me, I visit their boards in order to broaden my understanding of the disorder and/or clarify my own concepts regarding the disorder. It has certainly helped me to understand what was going on in my relationship by viewing it from her side. It was a heart wrenching, eye opening transformation/realization for me. As much as she threw my world into chaos, I equally threw her world into chaos.
Logged
ZeusRLX
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 196



« Reply #27 on: May 26, 2015, 12:35:25 AM »

Hi Mutt,

For me, I visit their boards in order to broaden my understanding of the disorder and/or clarify my own concepts regarding the disorder. It has certainly helped me to understand what was going on in my relationship by viewing it from her side. It was a heart wrenching, eye opening transformation/realization for me. As much as she threw my world into chaos, I equally threw her world into chaos.

What are some good boards to go read their BPD stuff? I'd love to check them out... .

Been reading



Some interesting stuff so far... .
Logged
enlighten me
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289



« Reply #28 on: May 26, 2015, 12:56:13 AM »

Going onto BPD boards isnt for the faint hearted. I would not recommend it in the early stages post BU. These boards are their safe place so going there when still angry you may be tempted to post. Like here they are in various stages of recovery and the last thing they need is to have someone having a go at them. The fact that they are on these boards means that at least they have accepted they have BPD so are self aware of the problem unlike a lot of our exs.

Coming to terms with having a pd is a big step and a painful one. Having someone then point out how much pain they have caused people will be a hammer blow that some cannot take.

please tread carefully.
Logged

FannyB
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 566



« Reply #29 on: May 26, 2015, 11:10:01 AM »

Going onto BPD boards isnt for the faint hearted. I would not recommend it in the early stages post BU. These boards are their safe place so going there when still angry you may be tempted to post. Like here they are in various stages of recovery and the last thing they need is to have someone having a go at them. The fact that they are on these boards means that at least they have accepted they have BPD so are self aware of the problem unlike a lot of our exs.

Coming to terms with having a pd is a big step and a painful one. Having someone then point out how much pain they have caused people will be a hammer blow that some cannot take.

please tread carefully.

Enlighten me

I agree. Don't do it when you're angry. However, when you're on more of an even keel it can help healing as it reinforces that it wasn't about you - straight from the horses mouth, so to speak!
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!