SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[Ring of fire]

Took the test for the first time... I got a 31... that is kinda high ... at least I think so ... so I decided I am gonna take the test every week or every couple of weeks... .I know a year ago I was in a severe funk so thsi is much better but still I would like to see improvement... I want to see my score go down...

[Skip]

Took the test for the first time... I got a 31... that is kinda high ... at least I think so ... so I decided I am gonna take the test every week or every couple of weeks... .I know a year ago I was in a severe funk so thsi is much better but still I would like to see improvement... I want to see my score go down...

Its a good test for benchmarking... .you can keep your old scores here to compare.

[Maggiore]

Shut

65

The antidepressants are not working

[AnalogGuy]

Let's start a new thread with this test so we can continually monitor our progress.

[Skip]

We will let this thread continue (unlimited) to keep the poll and benchmarking in tact.

[sweetpea]

i scored a 4!

even when things aren't going so well, i have the ability to enjoy life and remain engaged. don't get me wrong, i do partake in a pity party now and then, but not for long. i usually get right back up and dust myself off. there's too many laughs and fun to be had.

[ellefun2]

Today, I am a 16.   8)  I don't think that's bad considering how far I've come. 

I know there are days when I would have scored much higher since today is a good day for me.  The blessing is that I have more good days than bad and, bit by bit, there is a longer span between the bad days.  Unfortunately, the bad days are usually pretty bad where I can't stop the inner dialogue from replaying every single flaw I have, every single mistake I have ever made, every real or perceived inadequacy that I have or have ever had.  That's when I want to hide from the world and snap at anyone who tries to get too close.  I feel like a formerly abused dog who occasionally still growls when cornered. 

But, I continue to do the things that I know will help me recover.  I'm seeing my therapist every other week, getting regular exercise and adequate rest, rekindling some of my old interests, and doing my best to seek out opportunities to socialize. 

[jodie]

wow! this week I am a five    I think the power of time is helping along with an increase in my Celexa dose.  I feel so much better in the last two weeks that I am actually looking forward to the future, no longer feeling lonesome and really enjoying my space, freedom, and independence.  I am so thankful to be finally feeling better.

[theotherside]

My score is pretty high, I don't know if I rounded up, or if others aren't being completely honest, or maybe my "extremely" and "a lot" meter is on a different scale. Also, some of the questions are redundant.

It's weird though, because although I scored high, I bounce around a lot. Some days I'll be in a good mood, inexplicably, other days, a bad mood, just as inexplicably, with no change in my circumstances. When it's a good mood I obviously just go with it. When it's a bad mood, I try to rise above.

Anger definitely still persists over the BPDx, though, and thoughts/memories can trigger a bad mood. I'm trying to move ahead, look at the positives, stay focused on the future, etc., but I'm still mired down in cleaning up the mess he left behind, so, although I'm out and grateful in many respects, I'm still resentful at the hole I'm having to dig myself out of, and the (negative) changes in my life circumstances that I would not be in, would it not be for my BPDx.

Working on it though! Five months out. Lotta cleanup.

[At Bay]

Well, my score is high and I knew it would be because I'm angry with myself about not keeping a promise I made--that, if my H interfered with my enjoyment of granddaughter, I would take him up on his offer to leave. It was worse right after her birth or maybe I'm used to it now 20 mos. later. Another baby on the way in April. Dread more drama and remembering my promise to myself, but need his help.

At least my test was zeroes for the last section about self-harm. Maybe I should increase anti-depressant, but I'm afraid I'll gain weight. Thought about resuming therapy, but I have the answers already: leave (implied), but I'm supposed to tell you to stay after 30 yrs.

[hopethereishope]

Hi everyone! I scored 6!  8) And I really feel like that!

[JoannaK]

Wow... I last took this poll two months ago, late August, before the flood.

This is what I wrote back then:

Well, between an 18 and a 20.  (I took it earlier and got a 20, just took it again and got an 18.)

It doesn't have much to do with my exh, more so with my current state of affairs... .   job seeking, also the difficulties of my bf this year.  He had surgery and a succession of various health problems which have taxed both of us emotionally and financially, as well as taxing him physically.

But I do feel that I got into some of the problems with him because I didn't "learn" from my marriage.

I'm now up to a 30.  Still overwhelmed, still have trouble with the job-hunting thing.

[At Bay]

6! I am happy to know that is possible and good news always cheers me up, thanks. I look for things to be glad for.

Joanna, decisions about the job have to work out for you because how could they not? You are strong and smart! Someone told me that it is hard for a couple when there is a traumatic event due to each other's presence reminding the other of what they have been through. The flood is literally off the front page of the newspaper and you've been through lot. I hope you are getting the support you need at home right now. Maybe seeing lots of options will help.

AB

[dupchek4me]

a 30 but mostly I feel good about the score since I do not and never had any suicidal thoughts.  Mostly it is the FOG - guilt mostly - since leaving 4 months ago with my 2 girls.  The BPD wife still makes me feel bad though, even from afar.  She really knows how to pull those strings.   She was a great Puppeteer.

[PDQuick]

Great for cutting puppeteer strings. They can be found at Wal-Mart.

[csandra]

Great for cutting puppeteer strings. They can be found at Wal-Mart.

Yes, and they would be a GREAT addition to the bpdfamily.com Gift shop.  It's been a while since the gift shop has been open fro viewing.

[HeartOfaBuddha]

I scored a 50 today.  Having a really rough time with my situation right now.  BTW  I created a Spreadsht for tracking results if anyone wants it - let me know.

Peace & Metta

[harmony1]

I am at 40 today  hope it gets better

[faux]

woo hoo I am down to a 4 now

[AnalogGuy]

Down to a 31!   The new medication and therapy seems to be working well.  Also applying myself 100% at work seems to be helpful.  I like making progress!  Let's hope I can keep bringing it down.

AG

[libertine]

Down to a 31!   The new medication and therapy seems to be working well.  Also applying myself 100% at work seems to be helpful.  I like making progress!  Let's hope I can keep bringing it down.

AG

*cheer*

That's awesome AG! I'm so happy for you 

You're so going to be fine.

P.S. I'm not even bothering to take it right now, it would be pointless. I'm in limbo right now.

[foiles]

Today - 6.  Feeling pretty darn good.  For the most part, the BPD is out of my brain (except for the inevitable pop-ins; but little emotionality involved) - I think for me it's kind of like a home project.  You get all of the big stuff done and the small left-overs just kind of hang on.  Plus being in a happy relationship puts less emphasis on 'bettering' myself.  I need to get back on the ball! 

[Ring of fire]

Analog guy... You really sound soo much better! That is terrific!... and CHilI... .The good news is that  you are  one AWESOME girl... don't ever  forget that.We are all here for you the way you have been here for us... .I took my test for the second time... I guess it has been a  few weeks  since i took it last... I am thrilled to be at a score of 20...

[SuddenlySense]

I'd been feeling kinda down lately so took it again just to see.  Not too bad... .a 15.   A little up from last time but I think it's the impending Holidays which will look very different this year and not all settled yet. 

[gertrude]

Hi Skip - I think it's an interesting test - if it could be combined with a timeline, it would be even more interesting.  Occasional, nondebilitating sadness is where I am at now.  I am not depressed - and it does not interfere too much any longer with the forward motion of my life.  I would love to see the "average" recovery time.  Of course, that data depends on so many variables - length of relationship, degree of BPD (some seems much more intense than others), and the emotional health of the non to begin with.  I hope everyone gets down below 10 ASAP!  Carol

[Samuell]

6 today. Maybe even lower than 6. And just about every day is getting like this now 

I love real life.

[SuddenlySense]

I'd like to see an average too.  I know I'm much better than I was before he left but I know that his seemingly unending messing with my life/finances until the divorce is final is not helping steady forward progress.  I'm sure that the length of time it takes a person to completely free themselves of the BP has an effect too.

[wannabhappy]

Hi

took the test for the first time and scored 25... I think its much much MUCH lower then I would have scored 2 months ago, 4 or 6 months ago. My live is much MUCH better now then before. I sleep normal hours again, I have an active social live again, I very often feel the old energetic and lively me again and I have happy days. I have more energy and I worry less about my health (I was obsessed with my health).

I did just move abroad and started a new job (that makes me somewhat insecure) and I am really really missing companionship/intimacy/belonging but I am scared of dating. Moreover my dad is alone, 73 years old, suffering from depression and was diagnosed parkinson last year. I still get an email from the UBPDex every Friday, that I don't read, but I see the subject and the last one was; I am going to Egypt for a while. Somehow it made me sad.

The therapy of the last few months opened my eyes in some areas, the experience and this board in others. I feel I am not done working on 'it' (me) not by a long shot, and this sometimes makes me down. I have many 'down' moments, but at least, nowadays I 1) recognize them, 2) acknowledge them and 3) do not escape them by 'seeking trouble/stress/work/party/loud music/alcohol/sex or any other quick fix I used to seek. Or at least, that s what I am trying (not) to do!

So overall, I am doing better! 

M interested to see if I score lower next month!

[sdddaa]

Whoa! 54. I knew I took a down turn but, whoa. No self harm, just lots of frustrations and sadness. Divorce is delayed well into next year as x is not cooperating. My assistant at work was downsized so i am doing two persons' jobs indefinitely. D's are having a rough time with x and I am feeling their pain with them- this is a big one right now. House concerns as the money continues to go to divorce process. Nothing emotionally intertwined with x, I've been over her. Angry at her. Angry about how Ds will pay the price for how the legal process protects ill mothers over healthy fathers. Smoking again and that bothers me. General divorce limbo crap that should have been wrapped up right now, but is not. I was doing much better not that long ago.

Arrrgh.

sdddaa

[Ring of fire]

Ok... This is my third time taking the test... drum roll... .A 6! For anybody that is reading... If I can do it... anybody can... I just knew that I could not stay in that hole... evry day was a struggle... It takes a LOT of work... I want to get an even lower score.Things that helped me-not being stubborn,listening to people on here,prayer,doing thingsi  did not want to do,exercise... .every day... and most of all... laughing... a lot.