SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[Manon46]

12, wauw i am getting better much better

[DorothyFromOz]

Shoot. I scored 15. Mild depression. And I just told my T today that I was feeling some anxiety, but not depressed.

By the way, hi. I'm new to this board, having just reached my 50th post recently. I look forward to interacting with you all.

Well, recognizing mild depression is the first step to getting rid of it. Exercise, going to bed on time, and trying to follow a routine should help. I should probably also let my H know this. :0/

[Bella Jordan]

55. 

Got a ways to go... .

[Samuel S.]

Skip, I got a score of 58 which basically validates the fact that I am severely depressed.  With these results now known to me, it just makes me feel that much more depressed.  One of the major reasons why I am severely depressed right now is because I discovered just yesterday that I do not love my BPD wife after 8 years of being so very patient, understanding, and tolerating her issues.  I put on this quiet, reserved face with my immediate family of my BPD wife and her daughter, because I am guarding myself from them, because they hardly ever give me a chance to voice my opinions.  Oddly enough, when I do, I am pounded upon.  When I don't, they wonder why I am so quiet.  This website has been helpful for venting for me and for so many others, thank goodness.  I also have belonged to a men's group, but my BPD wife's mother is dealing with cancer, and my BPD wife is needing all the support I can give to her.  She is totally clueless that I am running on empty, because she is so selfish.

[At Bay]

I don't remember the score when I took this awhile back, and I was everything bad but suicidal, but I've improved! The test might not reflect how much exactly, but honesty appears to have returned some self-respect. I shouldn't be living with someone who acts the way he does.

Thanks so much for the reminder in the title of this thread.

AB

[Lost in Wonderland]

I scored 50... .I don't feel depressed, but STRESSED is more the word. 

[DKC]

Hi,

I scored a 28, which I am OK with right now. Although this is the "Undecided" board, I have decided to leave but still read here - the more I can understand the better. I think if I can score a 28 while on the verge of moving out and knowing that the ___ is going to hit the fan, Im doing pretty good. My T has been working with me BIG time on accepting that it is not my job to feel sorry for her misery or guilty about the pain she will be in when I leave any more. I have given it 3 years of seeing a T and encouraging her to also (she did for about 2 months a while ago).

I also took the test of where I think I was right before I started on my path to wellness, and I scored around and 80 :'( ? :'(. I was trying to figure out how to commit suicide in a way that no one would know that it was intentional - so they would think it was an accident. Luckily, I knew enough to think "this is f&*ked up, everything in my life is good except for my marriage and family life - what the hell am I thinking!" But you know how it is, she had me convinced that it was ALL me, and I believe her warped thinking. Amazing how quick a good T and myself doing a lot of work & thinking can change ones perspective.

DKC

[gutzgutz]

Hello,

I scored 55. Does not sound too great. Am depressed and for the first time in my adult life have developed anxiety - I am basically stressed out of my brains. Was always able to multi-task - now one task seems too much for me. This after years with my partner who was critical of me, verbally and psychologically abusive, scared of me leaving him, etc. He is THE guy with anxiety, OCD, NP behaviour and normally the one stressed out.  I was always the calm one, trying to resolve things, occasionally a bit dramatic after I had enough of manipulative behaviour - but generally positive and going on with my work and art, seeing friends, traveling, and trying to have a loving relationship etc. Slowly this has been eroding over the last four years or so. Now, strangely enough he seems to have changed and appears totally relaxed, is friendly and polite to me - does not really tell me what he is doing with/in his life - detached? - asks me if I sleep well and talks to other women online and is seeing at least one of them.

Am going to CODA now, still not got a therapist - on waiting list - take St. John's Worth and go for walks in parks. Nature is a great place.

I am trying to do regular exercise and meditation.

[Matt]

21 - about half what it was a few months ago.  Events have calmed - the other shoe dropped - but the world didn't end.  I feel more like I'm digging out after a disaster - now at least I'm active not passive, waiting for the disaster to happen.

[harmony1]

wow I am at a four... a flippin four... separation is doing me wonders!

[ellefun2]

I am also at a 4!  I know I have been feeling great, but it's nice to see the "no depression" category.  This is quite a feat for me as I have spent most of my adult life with at least a low level of depression.  This is the first time in my life that I am not plagued by negative thoughts, or fears that even if I am doing fine it is only a matter of time before it will be snatched away.  I now understand the beginnings of that downward spiral and how to take charge over my emotional health.   

[bob451]

29 - moderate depression. I don't feel it though - but it's there.

For you folks under around 15 to 20  - is there the possibility that what you are feeling is just 'real life'. Day to day crap, feeling normal.

Under 10, hmmm, you're obv. feeling too good! 

[reneeth]

 

   WOW,   12       I found my score from Aug.  27, 2008,  I was 30  moderately depressed.

   so,  12, mild depression, barely is great.   I am optomistic by nature and right now my job is great... .so totally me and I am getting overtime and putting money away.  looking at turning my upstairs (previously 3 bedroom inn)  into an adult family home area ( did job coaching and development, than group homes for 2 years before getting into therapy again),   few bumps in the road, but take that as a matter of course to be figured out in life.   Just feeling a little stuck in some areas in life, but know life needs 'rest' times too... R.

[Madison]

Hi,

I scored 29, moderately depressed which makes sense... I'm just over 3wks NC.  I still have difficult moments ie. sleep interruptions, bit of obsessive thinking at times, but they are lessening. I can feel my confidence growing again and i'm slowly getting back to my old self (with insight)... I have noticed that my self of humour is returning too! 

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...

I'll do the test again in a few weeks...

rgds,

Liza 

[Lost in Wonderland]

I scored 57 this time... .it's getting worse not better  :'( . 

[Desert]

Oh lost, I am so sorry.  I hope it turns around for you.

Today I scored a 43.

On June 30 it was 67.

And that's less than three months.

May your G-d aid you in your healing.   xoxox

[HopeForUs]

((sigh)) 50 today. 

[Kenneth]

Today I got an 8.

Maybe I'm deluding myself.

[FloatOn]

16 today. Down from upper 40's when I took it last (at least a month ago).

I also put a couple 1's down where I was like eh... .0 or 1. I would put a 1 if there was any inkling at all of the feeling, and some were probably actually 0's. So I think I'm doing better. This NC diet works! 3.5 months now.

[Matt]

9/15/09  15

8/25/09  21

6/30/09  28

8/24/08  19  (A few weeks after my divorce was final, and a week before my son got in big trouble.)

[Skip]

Thats great trend Matt.  Keeping and dating the scores is a really helpful thing to do!

[qcarolr]

67. Guess it was a hard week this past one, but more because I have been sick and this destablizes my whole family, this time esp. dh. So I need to do poll again in a few days when my health is better - some virus shared by GD4 going back to preschool most likely. I get really down when feel overwhelmed by everyone who seems to depend so much on me to keep their life together. Had to miss work at both part-time jobs becasue too tired and couldn't even talk for two days. Then get email from job1 that new CFO starting next week that needs to work with me - yikes! I am not ready for a new person with expectations of me. You'd think dh would like that as he complains always I talk too much but my whispered answered to his comments drove him even more crazy! Then the old buick heater goes out on the first snowy day so he has to stop and scrap the inside of the windshield - freaking out about the money to repair. But he figures out part it nees and we find online used for only $132 instead of $500 new part and order. but I have to do all  computer stuff because he doesn't use computer - combination of learning disability and resistance to technology though he repaired TV's for 35 years and is the premier handyman! He's just now learning to use his cell phone since helps him at his new job.

Good thing last week - even though I couldn't talk, was lunch with foster/adopt mom for my GS2 with BPD23. D23 seems less blaming of me for his adoption just this past Friday. She was not home much as this was a rough time for her as she stated. She left last night because she couldn't stand dh and I bickering about the car repair, and I had asked her to stay and help put GD4 to bed after she made a big deal about my "undercutting her parental authority" at dinner when I asked her to leave GD4 alone about eating food she did not like. It was not a pretty scene, and dh drove her away for the night to a friends house. She just called and I will go get her this am. D23 really does a much better job of controlling her anger with us and the things that drive her crazy about how dh and I relate, and yet she is the only yelling and cursing in front of gd4 until gd4 is cuddled with me with her hands over her ears.

Dh has agreed to 6 weeks of couseling to hopefully get some support on setting and maintaining boundaries with d23 that we can live with. We had to reschedule 1st appt Friday because I couldn't talk, and last night he was refusing to go saying he didn't need more talk, talk, talk. But he will go this Friday or I want him to move out along with D23, but then I couldn't do the GD4 custody thing alone. man it justs keeps going around in a circle for me this past week.

So now that I have vented in maybe not the right place on this site I will go back and do the poll again. I have been unable to get 5 minutes at my computer to post all this in the past 4 days!

[qcarolr]

36. Ok so maybe by first score was based on yesterday and this is more like I feel right now. It is a wonderful thing being able to be open and honest without having to filter every thought and action like I do with face-to-face people in my life. I feel so dishonest sometimes in how I have to live to keep the peace and try to meet everyones needs. If can get the crises reduced maybe can focus some of my T time on taking care of myself, not just everyone else.

[Desert]

This is a very revealing quiz.

This is my third time taking it.

June 2009 :          67

September 2009 :  43

October 2009 :      66

Not really a heckuva lot to say about that, is there.

[rainlover2]

67

[stellaris]

I scored a 7.  However five of those points were about being tired and sleeping too much, which given my current highly physically and mentally demanding work regime and my new baby are probably not depression related.  1 was due to health concern, and in fact I do have a small health concern at the moment, but its being fixed, so my adjusted score is probably 1.  Just for interest, I did the test again, remembering back to when I was 18 1and 19 and absolutely, totally messed up, and came away with a 44.

The take home message is - keep working at it, it will get better.  I only wish I'd had more understanding earlier, because I'd say I was hovering around the 20 mark for most of my adult life struggling with the aftereffects of growing up with my mother.

Hang in there!

Chris

[hopefulmom]

Yikes... .scored a 50.  I thought I was doing better.  I guess the after-effects of being with a BPD is that the roller coaster ride doesn't really end when the park is closed.

LOL  Well, at least I can still make myself laugh. 

Going to enjoy the rest of today after spending the morning crying and being sad.

[onAmission]

I scored a 40. Sounds about right to me. I'm dealing with a bunch of things right now with my BPDh and my Mom and my health. I've been thinking about going to a T for me. It's a real hard thing for me because I fear H will use it against me... ."and you said I was the one with mental illness... .look who's going to therapy and who is not... ." He denies that he has BPD event though he was diagnosed 

[Matt]

I scored a 40. Sounds about right to me. I'm dealing with a bunch of things right now with my BPDh and my Mom and my health. I've been thinking about going to a T for me. It's a real hard thing for me because I fear H will use it against me... ."and you said I was the one with mental illness... .look who's going to therapy and who is not... ." He denies that he has BPD event though he was diagnosed 

I had to deal with that.  I started going to a counselor in 2006, before separating.  Our divorce was final in mid-2008.  During depositions I was asked about counseling, and I answered honestly, that I thought it might be a good idea and it was helpful so I continued.  My wife maintained that she didn't need it because there was nothing wrong with her.  I insisted on psych evals, and mine came up clean but hers looked really bad.  So I gained credibility and she lost it.

I think the lesson is, there's nothing wrong with preventive health care - if you think counseling might be helpful go for it and the court will probably see that as wise.

Matt

[So Clear]

Hello Skip,

                 I scored 25 , took the test while feeling pretty low and during a crying spell.