SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[Frreddi]

hey guys  havent posted for a while i decided,     wait     my unhealthy self decided that i could deal with someone who was out of reality... .so i took my misery back   knowing the out come made it easier im out 50 days or so  im ok got a 25 . im sad cause she is spiraling down real fast        she resigned as a teacher, hasnt paid mortgage, they are forclosing on her townhousse so ... .she moved closer to me.and is looking for public assistance o mg i really escaped this it is very sad tho   glad i poste d hope i continue

   freddi

[Manon46]

very very much reading,took a good look into my own part of it all.

And took me about one year to gain control back over me instead of trying to control him.

Did go through my own fears,did not accept them nor gave it a place, finally could see what he was

And i still love him but more like he is what he is... a child with no direction...

And agree that there are no guilty or innocent people involved in the relation,we are ourselves

as much as responsable as they are for theirs,for our own happyness,and know that in all our

innocence we expected that they made us happy and blame them for failing... .

But we failed also... we cannot make them happy,so why should they can?

But... .it was indeed a trip through hell... and made it to the other side... he didnt,still wandering around...

Looking for their fix...

[an0ught]

From 33 down to 16. Maybe I'm a bit too optimistic? But I feel ok... If I could just beat my procrastination habits I would be somewhere else.

[tetelestai]

Hmm. Just noticed this test. 51. Wow. Didn't think it would be anywhere near that high. And this is after significant recent hard-earned progress. No telling how high it had been.

13 months out from separation. 3 months out from the divorce.

This is definitely going to take longer than I was expecting.

[JerryKew]

Really good - at long last.

<:-)

JerryKew

PS: I scored 9 on the test. 

[Matt]

8/24/08  19  (A few weeks after my divorce was final, and a week before my son got in big trouble.)

6/30/09  28

8/25/09  21

9/15/09  15

12/6/09  20  Hm... .

[Steph]

August 08 was 16. This was just before reconcilliation, while we were in therapy both together and indivudually. He was in DBT and I in IC.

Today its a 4... .Nice

[mwbpd]

Working my butt off here and got a 5.  I haven't felt depressed for a while.  Working with DBT, NVC and reading here and there about getting myself away from the BPD influence and working out at the gym getting the endorphin going 

[NewPhoenixRising]

Wanted to add a thank you to Skip for posting this.  It has helped me to gain a better perspective on my history of depression, what has caused it and what I have done that alleviates it.  Thanks.

I scored a 34.  I actually have a feeling of relief in my life, even at that score.  For several years now, I have just been hanging on.  I have finally left behind several years of chronic anxiety after the epiphany of embracing radical or universal acceptance.  I feel like I can accept anything life throws me now !  I have also given up any hope that I will get any validation, acceptance, or nurturing from my uBPD mother.  

I am still at 34 due to the financial problems resulting from 6 years of chronic anxiety, depression, and the fear of working for a boss (yes, it was a real phobia).  Also, the loss of those 6 years, my current relationship status, struggling to resume my career, and dealing with having gained about 30 lbs. over that 6 years.  

I put myself back in time at critical junctures in my life to take this test so I could put together a timeline.  

51  -  age 17, uBPD mom ('sanitary' hoarder), uNPD alcoholic/workaholic dad

36  -  age 19, amazing what being out of that house for a couple of years could do

23  -  age 25, self-esteem through work/school, friends, interests, read "Adult Children of Dysfunctional   Families and gained a lot of perspective on family dynamic, still binge drinking, bad at relationships

6   -   age 28, took a year to analyze self, no women, cut drinking down, focused on work/school/self

4   -   age 31, 2002 (prior to sis's suicide) Career/finances excellent, bought home, engaged      

73  -  2003 (5 months after sis's suicide) Bought second home with fiancee, focused on work, wrong moves, had first panic attack, most of this score is due to sis's suicide and having no supportive family bonds to help cope, also no idea where to go for help

76  -  2003 (9 months after sis's suicide - after getting forced out of my career b/c of severe depression)

85  -  2005 (December during coming out of the FOG of relationship with NPD sociopath and having moved  back in with uBPDm and NPD workaholic/alcoholic dad to 'get back on my feet' - dumbest decision of my life)  I checked myself into a hospital when I was driving back from checking on the sociopath one night after Christmas.  I thought a couple of times about pulling the wheel of my Jeep into a bridge imbunkment.  I stayed at the hospital for my 3 day evaluation, and checking myself in there was one of the better decisions I ever made.  

(50-70)  - 2006 - 2009, recovered from NPD sociopath, moved out of parents house after 18 months, chronic anxiety, new relationship that has been healing yet problematic also

34   -  today - radical (universal) acceptance is a tool, and understanding, that I never had before, I let go of the attachments to my mom - need for validation, acceptance, nurturing.  Relationship headed for a step back, but with perspective, I am now seeing some PD characteristics in my gf of 3+ years.  Struggling to resume my career, get my finances under control and back on track, and work on my lost social connections.  I am medication-free, and drug-free for that matter.  I don't abuse alcohol.  I am starting to sleep better and eat better.  I began exercising again.  Now it is freezing here and we are about to get a foot of snow, but I am still in a good mood  

After really hanging on the last few years, I feel relieved to be where I am at today.  I know after I resolve my finances and I resolve some of the things I have done to friends, family, and others since the fallout of 2003, my score will improve.  But right now I am enjoying the feeling of weathering the storm.  

[samsara]

I scored a 46, but this is no surprise - it's these feelings that caused me to seek out therapy.

Most of the feelings are the depressive, sad, guilty, confused feelings of having to disengage from my uBPD partner, and struggling with "peeling the onion" of my own problems that caused me to get into this situation in the first place. 

I'm hoping that therapy this time will really help me clear away a lot of debris that has caused me to be stuck in bad patterns for too many years.

[forty-seven]

My score was 6 but after I adjusted for the new baby it was one.  The adjustment was for things like - feeling tired - you bet! difficulty sleeping - of course but the doctor says she should sleep thru the night in a month or 2.   

[kj1234]

My score went up quite a bit from last time I took the poll, a couple of months ago.  Not good.  I don't know what happened, really.  Gotta get back on track.  I know I am not doing some of the things I should be, like exercising enough and pushing myself to maintain a good schedule of the things I should be doing.  Have to get back to it.  I let myself slide.  I know I can turn it around.  Unfortunately, I have to push through some divorce stuff now, facing some tough things, but I just have to get it done and move on.  It drags me down, but the sooner I get it done, the better.  Tomorrow's a new day.

[Edie]

I scored 25 - right on the edge     .   Should be no real surprise but I was.

[snakey]

fifty bloody six!



Merry xmas all.

[Mermaid7seas]

I can't find a link to the test... .only replies and scores others got.

[JGirl2]

I scored a 10.

[NewPhoenixRising]

Mermaid, it is on page one of this thread  <:-)

[Edie]

WOW Jersey girl ... .I want to be where you are at!


V- The test is just under Santa.   It will say topic-test.  Click on it and it will highlight.

[mn36]

Well, I took this test back in October and scored (I think) a 14-16 when I was just few weeks in on being NC - it is now day 70 of NC and I scored a 6. <:-)  The only thing that I am experiencing is a really stiff neck probably due to the fact that this is the first Holiday season without my xuBPDh - which means all of the preparations are on my shoulders.  Things are going fine, it is just something new is all... .  Hope that makes sense.

~mn36

[WhyMe?]

35, not horrible but room for improvement. First time taking it. If I had taking it March or earlier - yikes!

I will say I'd always have scored a zero on the last 3 <whew!>

[Mermaid7seas]

WOW Jersey girl ... .I want to be where you are at!


V- The test is just under Santa.   It will say topic-test.  Click on it and it will highlight.

OK, there's no test under Santa that I can see here. No links. No topic-test. Nothing but the percentages show up. I would like to take the test, not just see what % others got. Is there any way at all to read and answer the test questions? I clicked on ny link that looked like a test, but I just keep getting back to this thread. No test, even when I click on the "take the test" link. Always back to this thread.

[tetelestai]

Mermaid, go to page 1 of this thread to make sure it looks the same, namely the bar graph results instead of the poll itself. If you don't know what I am talking about, you can click here to go there. Assuming it does show on page 1 with the bargraph instead of the poll, it looks to me like you have already voted perhaps? Once I voted, I then lost the ability to take the poll and vote again.

[Mermaid7seas]

Mermaid, go to page 1 of this thread to make sure it looks the same, namely the bar graph results instead of the poll itself. If you don't know what I am talking about, you can click here to go there. Assuming it does show on page 1 with the bargraph instead of the poll, it looks to me like you have already voted perhaps? Once I voted, I then lost the ability to take the poll and vote again.

OK, thanks. I guess I already voted once. But I saw posts here saying people had gotten different scores the first time, so I thought I could go again. Oh, well... .

[kj1234]

mermaid,

I already voted once and I also could not find a link to vote again.  I just did it on paper this time.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's hopelessness of my situation getting better, maybe it's all I have learned and trying to let go, maybe it's the constant rollercoaster ride, maybe it's watching my life slip away from me... .

The chaos of this relationship, and the list could go on and on... .  Maybe just the challenge of trying to pull myself out of this black hole and keep getting sucked back in... .

Score 7/09 - 50; score 9/09 - 57; score now 65   ;

[NewPhoenixRising]

Mermaid, the test is on page one of this thread.  It is skips first post that contains the test.  You have to write down your answers to get your score.  So click on page one and scroll down to Skips first post.  The test is in the first post.   

[Morgause]

I scored a 77   ... .1 month NC  ( okay 1 week if you count an email link )

[ThursdayNext]

But my BPDsis is currently in hospital after her 4th suicide attempt and undergoing ECT, I'm acting as substitute mother for her D23 and have just been contacted by another (adopted out at birth) D24 who has bipolar with BPD traits. My uNPDbro recently lost his job and is looking for another. My uNPD father with whom I'm virtually NC but have had to contact via email in order to keep him in the loop re BPDsis is using said contact to do what he always does, which is ignore me and try and get information about my mother (his ex-wife of three years - and he remarried a 24yrs younger limited-English speaker in October, so what business is it of his? None but that's the point!)

And I have a chronic immune/neurological illness that I've had for nearly 17yrs, which is always affected by stress cos stress (gee, is this news?) is **tiring**!

Most of my responses are to do with being used by others to handle the situation cos I've done the years of work with a T to get to a place where I have good boundaries and communication skills with the family PDs - so they tend to leave it up to me cos 'you handle it so much better than I do'. Okay, I can relate to that - I went NC with BPDsis for 18months about eight years ago in order to establish those boundaries. But nobody else is trying to work on their own mental health... .Anyway, I'm about where I'd expect to be given the circumstances.

[jalk]

Hi Skip... .56 here.

[Desert]

This is a very revealing quiz.

This is my third time taking it.

June 2009 :          67

September 2009 :  43

October 2009 :      66

Not really a heckuva lot to say about that, is there.

December 11, 2009:             81