SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[kj1234]

Lost, Morgause, Jalk, Desert,

Those numbers are too high!  Bring them down.  You can do it!

Mine went up also, but not that high.  We have to take care of ourselves.  Do what you need to do, but get those numbers down.  You don't deserve to be in that state and neither do I.

I know there are some things I should be doing to help myself and I have to do them.  Went for a hike today, talked with a friend, tackling some unfinished business, etc.  Whatever works.  Don't let the past or the actions of some crappy person dictate your life!  Easier said than done, I know.

We all deserve better.

[Nightingale]

Scored 61.  No surprises there! Lifes been hell.

[NewPhoenixRising]

I just worked on radical acceptance this morning and had a really positive experience.  My score 5 days ago was 34.  Today it is 23.  Just shows me that there is a daily variation in perspective to this stuff.  

[Goose]

Scored 54. I guess it's understandable, rough times.

[justhere]

Scored 50 and I think that's pretty good for me as it might be a little high but this is the best I've felt for years.

[ellefun2]

I am very happy to announce that I have reclaimed my progress and am now at a 6.      My life circumstances haven't changed but my perspective and response to them has.  If anyone is interested, I have been working this year on the techniques I learned in the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns.  I also do a daily devotional out of The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, and I've been bit by bit working on Healing The Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. 

I feel like I have been building a comfy little brick cottage this last year and a half.  My foundation was Acceptance:  Of reality, of myself, of others, of where I was at any given moment.  Regardless of how dysfunctional, sad, angry, or whatever I felt, I gave myself permission to just be me.  I've been building brick by brick, taking my time, not in a hurry, carefully selecting each brick.  If I don't like how something turns out, if I built too many windows in a wall, or not enough, I can reconsider, remove, rearrange.  I like how it is coming together.  It is a labor of love.

[Mermaid7seas]

I am very happy to announce that I have reclaimed my progress and am now at a 6.      My life circumstances haven't changed but my perspective and response to them has.  If anyone is interested, I have been working this year on the techniques I learned in the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns.  I also do a daily devotional out of The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, and I've been bit by bit working on Healing The Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. 

I feel like I have been building a comfy little brick cottage this last year and a half.  My foundation was Acceptance:  Of reality, of myself, of others, of where I was at any given moment.  Regardless of how dysfunctional, sad, angry, or whatever I felt, I gave myself permission to just be me.  I've been building brick by brick, taking my time, not in a hurry, carefully selecting each brick.  If I don't like how something turns out, if I built too many windows in a wall, or not enough, I can reconsider, remove, rearrange.  I like how it is coming together.  It is a labor of love.

ellefun2, what a wonderful, visual analogy, building a comfy little brick cottage! I'd like to do that, too, and with a little English flower garden, and vegetables and herbs growing, butterflies and hummingbirds flitting about, a nice cat on the hearth, windows open to the summer breeze. A white picket fence... .maybe even with a view of the sea... .ahhh!  xoxo

[jen]

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS PEACE!

[Mermaid7seas]

I just worked on radical acceptance this morning and had a really positive experience.  My score 5 days ago was 34.  Today it is 23.  Just shows me that there is a daily variation in perspective to this stuff.  

NewPhoenixRising, I can't figure out how everyone can take the test more than once. I keep getting nothing but the percentages graph when I click the link. Someone here said I can only take it once. Can someone please enlighten me as to how to access the test, and take it again? Or just send me the test and/or correct link to my email: mermaid7seas@gmail.com

[NewPhoenixRising]

Mermaid, when you click on the Topic: Test, you get the percentage graph.  Just scroll down to Skip's first post from there.  The test is in his first post.  You just have to write the answers down and report your score. 

[Mermaid7seas]

Mermaid, when you click on the Topic: Test, you get the percentage graph.  Just scroll down to Skip's first post from there.  The test is in his first post.  You just have to write the answers down and report your score. 

Thanks, NewPhoenixRising. Got it. My abysmal score: 64. Yikes! Need to make some changes, and fast! 

*I really wish the test also included some comment on what the range of scores mean, and suggestions about how one can go about improving the score, ala Oprah. (50-65: Situation FUBAR. Go NC or LC now!) 

[gutzgutz]

Hi all, My score is 22, mild depression. This is far better than some months ago where I was quite depressed. Therapy, change in life style, doing more things I love and thinking more about myself - and last but not least bpdfamily have given me encouragement and got me going again.

Thanks for your support.

[random]

I'm at 65. I guess I'm being badly triggered by my current financial stress - facing bankruptcy, working a temp contract and looking at more jobhunting and more uncertainty once the contract is up. I always find unemployment very, very stressful, and the bankruptcy is really freaking me out.

I'm also adjusting to NC with Mom, and although the feeling was mutual, her "banishment" of me still really hurts. I'm very, very sad at having to let go of her for good, and of all my hopes for the relationship. I feel very alone in the world right now. My friends have been very supportive, but it's still a tough thing to get over for me.

[ifsogirl26]

I just realized that I am a 4!

Sweet not depressed!

But 6 months ago or so it would have been really bad, so its much nicer now a days

[jen]

I have just taken the test for the second time my score today is 87 and i am feeling totally and utterlly drained... .really bad few days and horrible few weeks in fact from uBPD H!  Some of the things he said to me yesterday were that : - I am such a lazy hit_, no wonder my parents and sister don't want anything to do with me look at the state of me, I stink, I am a horrible lazy hit_ and he can't believe he's married to such a lazy hit_ and why don't i just go and hang myself somewhere... .so the thought occurs why don't i do just that?  only thing stopping me at the present time is i have two daughters and already i feel guilty for wanting to selfishly take my life and end this horrible nightmare existance-i try and try and never get anything right.  He kicked my coffee over and took the sandwich off me said I didn't deserve to eat his food which he pays for - maybe i don't.   Therapy starts on 12th January 2010 - i am hanging on by the fingertips right now just praying I can get through New Year!

[NewPhoenixRising]

jen, call the suicide hotline, or go to a hospital and check yourself in.  If you are that high, you really need help.  You are at serious risk.   Your life is worth living and you need to hang on until you can get yourself there.  I am very serious.  Reach out for help.  Take your kids to the hospital with you if you have to. 

[Matt]

Yes, Jen, NPR is right.  Just for today, take care of yourself the best you can!

[Steph]

 Jen

Your life sounds miserable and you sound very depressed.

Is it possible for you to go to a hospital and talk about this? Once you are alone with a social worker or other safe person, you can let them know that you are so sad and you need help. Its also important that you tell them about the thoughts you have regarding taking your own life.

Your husband is  emotionally abusive and this has worn you down terribly.

Please do take some steps to take care of you.

Stepg

[NewPhoenixRising]

21 today despite landing a job that I am very excited about and will resume my career.  Unfortunately, it coincides with the same weekend that my gf and her son are moving out.  (We are working out some things.  She has been either been actively in the military herself, living with me, or married to someone in the military all but two years since graduating high school.  And those two (separate) years were spent at her mothers getting back on her feet after two separations).  So she wants to have the experience of being self-sufficient so she knows that she does not have to be dependent.  Also, we will both be working on our own issues in this time.  Because we will both be working full-time jobs (and I will also be maintaining self-employment part-time) and will both be taking classes (her full-time, me part-time), I have my doubts that we will have time enough to work on our relationship issues.  I have told her this from the start, and still feel this way, although I still love her and I know she still loves me.

[TCarlisle]

I have just taken the test for the second time my score today is 87 and i am feeling totally and utterlly drained... .really bad few days and horrible few weeks in fact from uBPD H!  Some of the things he said to me yesterday were that : - I am such a lazy hit_, no wonder my parents and sister don't want anything to do with me look at the state of me, I stink, I am a horrible lazy hit_ and he can't believe he's married to such a lazy hit_ and why don't i just go and hang myself somewhere... .so the thought occurs why don't i do just that?  only thing stopping me at the present time is i have two daughters and already i feel guilty for wanting to selfishly take my life and end this horrible nightmare existance-i try and try and never get anything right.  He kicked my coffee over and took the sandwich off me said I didn't deserve to eat his food which he pays for - maybe i don't.   Therapy starts on 12th January 2010 - i am hanging on by the fingertips right now just praying I can get through New Year!

Jen,

I see from your profile you are undecided about your relationship. You need to get out of it, and you don't need to wait until Jan 12 and pay a therapist $150 an hour to find that out. This man is destroying you. Whatever emotional attachment you have to him, is that more important than your life? He has you completely brainwashed to think you don't deserve better, can't get better, etc. You can.

I was once in the same place as you. I was severely clinically depressed with some suicidal ideation (which I never told anyone at the time). Once you get in that place, you literally can't think. You can't see the obvious, or at least you don't want to or are very much afraid to. You feel helpless and like pain is what you were destined to live.

None of that is true. You deserve better, you will find better, it is not helpless, you are not destined to live a life of pain, etc. This man is all of those things, and what he has done is project it onto you for so long it has brainwashed you.

I agree with others -- get professional help immediately. But at the same time, get this man out of your life -- the sooner the better. If you are clinically depressed, it is not likely you will recover without medical intervention. I'm not talking about the psych ward or hospitalization. It will more than likely be a a prescription for an SSRI (probably LexaPro) along with therapy. But even with medical assistance, you won't recover with him still in a  position to do this to you. His negative influence on your mental health is greater than any pharmaceutical and therapist combined. There is no drug or therapy that can make you happy and mentally healthy in a highly abusive relationship.

[kj1234]

Dropped back down to 18, lowest so far for me.  I think it goes up and down.  That's ok with me, as long as the overall trend is steadily down.

[Chocolatte]

7 for me.  I got a call from enSis which made me a little sad. And still working on that selfesteem but I generally think things are on the upswing. 

[Forward2free]

Yay - got a 13 today. After starting in the Severe to Extreme category, it is so nice to measure how I am feeling these days! I'm so busy with a 2 year old and 4 year old that difficulty sleeping, increase/decrease in appetite and feeling tired are probably quite normal!

[JDoe]

I've only been on this site for about 3 weeks, DH is still undiagnosed (except by me), and I'm waiting to see if he will keep his psychiatrist appointment in a month.  My score is 40 right now.   Praying for lower numbers soon!

JDoe

[pvgardens]

Just saw this post- don't know how I missed it.

  Took the test.  Got a 38- how depressing !

   I didn't think I was that down, but I guess I am- funny. I'm way better than I was a few months ago as I'm learning to live with the losses.

[Celiann]

I fared 32. I don't feel depressed though. According to the question you posted, I should. I feel that I have better tools now than a few weeks ago to address the situation.  I am scared of the future but not paralyzed. Not sure why I fared so low.

[lifeisgoodx10]

I scored 45... .moderately depressed which is true. I've already established that fact. I've been much worse in my life. I'm lessl than 24 hours NC but I left uBPxh in June. It's going on 8 months now that I've been out of his house. He has been relentless in his quest to "win" me back. Either making crazy threats or putting me up on the pedestal verbally. Both are re-engagements and manipulations.  I have not made al move to rebuild my social life. I dated a man four or five times and had a very nice time. Then BP put on the full court press and I gave in to see him occasionally. Now I have told him to not call or come by or make contact at all anymore. I know it's the best thing but it does leave me feeling raw.

I do run at least 3 times a week and usually more. It's my saving grace I guess. I'm able to de-stress through exercise. I take myself to a movie occasionally or go to the book store/coffee bar. I visit my FOO four hours away when I can. That's the extent of my life ourside of going to work. Thank God I work nights or I really would be in a mess as some of my nights are occupied at least. I have turned down many invitations to go to dinner etc with friends from work. I just don't "feel" up to it somehow. I know I am going to have to "make" myself go at some point. I don't have children and like I said I'm four hours away from family so I am pretty much alone here. I'm surviving but that isn't going to be enough for very long. I don't care about the bar scene, I'm not really a churchy person. I don't know where to meet people except at work.

[Mirielle]

21, but I'm currently fighting a head cold and am quite run down from that. I'm only 2 weeks back into the light, so to speak, and I think re-acclimating to a normal diet and exercise program may have knocked my immunities down. So, I'm reporting in with a 'conditional' 21  .

[WhyMe?]

Huh! 21! Last time I was over 26 (don't remember which but it tells me what category I was in). I remember it was in the 20's but still an improvement.  

<edit> I had made a post - I was 35 in early December. Apparently I had a good weekend or week or something.

[pvgardens]

I wonder how valid this test is. I took it a week ago and I scored a 38. Took it today and I scored a 16.

Had a few sleepless nights last week. I went to find my BPDs and saw him for the first time since July.

Only saw him about a minute, but he looked good. Didn't converse, but it gave me some relief to know he seems to be physically healthy.

Maybe that's why the huge swing. Relief?