Which books have helped you most?

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Which books have you found most helpful? Not helpful? We can help others alot by sahring out thoughts on who has it right and what is just another junk psychology book.

Here is a listing of our ongoing book reviews/discussions:

ALPHABETICAL LISTING
A Balanced Life: Coping with a Mentally Ill Loved One - Tom Smith
A Good Soldier - Ally Golden
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents ~ Lindsay Gibson. PsyD
Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families - John Friel
An Adult Child's Guide to What's "Normal"
An Umbrella for Alex - Rachel Rashkin, MS
Attached - Amir Levine, MD
Borderline Personality Disorder ~ Alexander L. Chapman PhD
Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified - Robert O. Friedel, MD
Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents - Blaise A. Aguirre, MD
Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide - Alex Chapman PhD
Boundaries - Henry Cloud PhD, John Townsend PhD
Brain-Based Parenting - Daniel A. Hughes, Ph.D.
Character Disturbance - George K. Simon Jr., PhD
Children Held Hostage - Stanley S. Clawar, PhD
Children of the Self Absorbed - Nina W. Brown
Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex - Amy Baker, PhD
Codependent No More - Melody Beattie
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - Pete Walker, MFT
Conquering Shame and Codependency - Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
Contemplating Divorce: A Guide to Deciding - Susan Gadoua, LCSW
Controlling People - Patricia Evans
Creating Loving Attachments - Daniel A. Hughes PhD.
Crossing the Borderline - Polly Fielding
Dance of Intimacy - Harriet Lerner, PhD
Daring Greatly - Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW
Daring to Trust - David Richo
DBT Made Simple - Sheri Van Dijk, MSW
DBT with Suicidal Adolescents - Alec L. Miller, PsyD
Diagnosing and Treating Co-Dependence - Timmen Cermack, MD
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-5
Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook - M. McKay, PhD
Disarming the Narcissist - Wendy Terrie Behary LCSW
Divorce Poison- Richard A. Warshak, PhD
Don't Alienate the Kids - Bill Eddy, Esq
Eight Keys to Building Your Best Relationships - Daniel A. Hughes, PhD
Eight Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery - Babette Rothschild, MSW, LCSW
Emotional Blackmail - Susan Forward, PhD.
Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goldman, PhD
Essential Family Guide - Randi Kreger
Facing Codependencey - Pia Melody
Feeling Good - David D. Burns, MD
Full Catastrophe Living - Jon Kabat-Zinn
Get Me Out of Here - Rachel Reiland
Getting Past the Affair - Douglas K. Snyder PhD
Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed - Courtney Macavinta
Grieving Mental Illness - Virginia Lafond
Growing Up and Older with a Mentally Ill Mother - Susan Nathiel
Hard To Love: Understanding and Overcoming Male Borderline Personality Disorder
Healing From Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from...
Healing the Shame That Binds You - John Bradshaw
Healing Your Emotional Self - Beverly Engel
Hold Me Tight ~ Sue Johnson Phd
Hope & Healing: Helping Young Children Affected by Trauma - Kathleen Fitzgerald
How to Break Your Addiction to a Person - by Howard Halpern PhD
How to Forgive When You Can't -  Jim Dincalci, PhD
I am Not Sick I Don't Need Help! - Xavier Amador, PhD
I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better - Gary B. Lundberg, MA, MFT
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me - Jerold J. Kreisman, MD
If You Had Controlling Parents - Dan Neuharth, PhD
In An Unspoken Voice - Peter A. Levine, PhD
In My Corner on the Moon - Rachel Raskin-Shoot, PysD (Child)
Integrative Treatment for BPD - John Preston, Psy.D
Is a Worry Worrying You? - Ferida Wolff, Harriet May Savitz
It's All Your Fault! - Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq
Life at the Border: Understanding and Recovering from the BPD - L Heller, MD
Lost Childhoods: The Plight Of The Parentified Child - Gregory J. Jurkovic PhD
Loud in the House of Myself - Stacy Pershal
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder - Shari Y. Manning, PhD
Loving the Self-Absorbed - Nina Brown, EdD
Mean Mothers - Peg Streep
Mindsight - Daniel J. Siegel MD
Missing: Coming to Terms with a Borderline Mother - Kathy Ewing
My Parents Keeper - Eva Marian Brown, LCSW
New Hope for People with BPD - Neil R. Bockian, PhD, Valerie Porr, M.A.
No More Mr Nice Guy~ Robert A. Glover PhD
Nonviolent Communication - Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
One Way Ticket to Kansas - Ozzie Tinman
Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Porr, MA
Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions - Pat Harvey ACSW
Parenting Teens with Love And Logic - Foster Cline MD
Passionate Marriage - David Schnarch PhD
Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People - Susan F. Benjamin
Putting Children First - JoAnne Pedro-Carroll PhD
Real Love - Greg Baer, MD
Reinventing Your Life - Jeffrey E. Young PhD
Saving Francesca By Melina Marchetta [Teen]
Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques... - McKay M., Fanning P.
Setting Psychological Boundaries - Anne Cope Wallace
Something Is Wrong at My House - Diane Davis, M.A. (Child)
Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry - Bebe Moore Campbell (Child)
Splitting; Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline - William Eddy, Esq
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist - Margalis Fjelstad, PhD, LMFT
Stop Walking on Eggshells - Paul T. Mason MS
Surviving a Borderline Parent - Kim Roth, Freda B. Friedman, PhD.
Survivor to Thriver Manual - J. Patrick Gannon, PhD
Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You - Eleanor Cade
Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress - Mary Beth Williams, PhD
Ten Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages- Karla Downing
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ~ Stephen R. Covey
The Betrayal Bond - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D
The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel van der Kolk, MD
The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog - Bruce D. Perry, MD
The Buddha & The Borderline -  Kiera Van Gelder
The Burden of Sympathy - David Allen Karp, PhD.
The Conscious Parent - Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D.,
The Dance of Anger - Harriet Lerner Ph.D.
The Emotional Incest Syndrome - Patricia Love
The Everything Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder - Constance Dolecki, PhD
The Explosive Child - Ross Greene, PhD
The Gift of Fear - Gavin De Becker
The High Conflict Couple - Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD
The Invisible String - Patrice Karst [Child]
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing - Susan Anderson, MSW
The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple - Joan Lachkar, PhD
The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment - Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman
The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook - Glenn R. Schiraldi, PhD
The Power of Validation (for parents) - Karyn D. Hall, PhD
The Search for the Real Self - James F. Masterson, MD
The Siren's Dance - Anthony Walker, MD
The Ultimate Guide to Transforming Your Anger - Jane Middelton-Moz PhD
The Weather House: Living with a Parent with BPD - R. Fraser, MD (Child)
The White Knight Syndrome - Mary C. Lamia
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay - Mira Kirshenbaum, MFT
Toxic In-laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage - Susan Forward

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Enabler]

When hope is not enough - Bon Dobbs
Toxic Parents - Susan Forward & Craig Buck
Love must be tough - James Dobson
Boundaries - Henry cloud & John townend

[once removed]

ive only read two, i think. Boundaries, and The Journey from Abandonment to Healing.

its been so long since i read Boundaries, but what i learned from it was not to say yes to everything in romantic relationships (or no to everything), and not be afraid to be more myself in romantic relationships.

Journey was a good book for a breakup, explained pretty well what was going on, and i found the Stages of Abandonment a lot more pertinent to me than the Stages of Grief. some of the Inner Child stuff toward the back end of the book were a little out there for me.

[Radcliff]

Boundaries - Henry Cloud PhD, John Townsend PhD
To survive with a pwBPD, you need empathy and boundaries.  This book helps with...wait for it...boundaries!  As a person who was living a boundary-less existence, this was one of the most important books I've read.

Don't Alienate the Kids - Bill Eddy, Esq
If you are having trouble parenting with your partner, and especially if you are contemplating divorce or are already divorced, you must read this book.  It can give you a greater understanding of the causes of alienation and can help you avoid making things far worse.

Hold Me Tight ~ Sue Johnson Phd
I just finished reading this.  An outstanding book.  If you are in the throws of a BPD relationship I'd read Boundaries, Eggshells, and Loving Someone with BPD first, but if you've learned the BPD and boundaries basics and want to really work on things, give this book a look.  It will change your view of how relationships work.  If you have exited a BPD relationship, this book should be required reading before you start dating.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me - Jerold J. Kreisman, MD
The first BPD book I read.  It helped me understand the push-pull behavior.  I read a review that it's a bit dated, though it's been so long since I read it, I can't say.  I'd read Eggshells and Loving Someone with BPD first, but this is still a good one.

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder - Shari Y. Manning, PhD
To survive with a pwBPD, you need empathy and boundaries.  I found this book to be a big help with empathy.  Good as one of the first books you read after realizing that you may be dealing with BPD.

Splitting; Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline - William Eddy, Esq
If you have any thought that your partner may file for divorce or that you may at some point, you must read this book.  Bill Eddy gained experience with pwBPD as a social worker/therapist, then turned lawyer and dealt with them in his family law practice.  He hasn't just written the book on dealing with high conflict people, he has written many books.  This was a crucial book for me.  Don't overlook it.

Stop Walking on Eggshells - Paul T. Mason MS
The classic that brings many people here.  Read it.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ~ Stephen R. Covey
This is a great book for personal development.  If you're in the middle of a crisis, this isn't the first book I'd read, unless it's part of self-care for thinking about how you want to grow outside of BPD relationship issues.

The High Conflict Couple - Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD
If you're getting some traction with the coping tools we teach here, and think that your relationship has some growth/improvement potential, this is a great book to read.  Fruzetti is a BPD expert, and has written the book with BPD in mind, but he never mentions BPD, so you may be able to safely share this book with your partner if he or she is willing to work with you on improving things.